I couldn’t have said it better. Thanks for the wise comments.

I don’t understand the biological mothers’ motivation or actions in these cases. I start from the position that the more people a child has in his life who love him, care for and about it, and take an interest in him, the better.

And if you start as a couple, and cause a child to be born into that couple, it makes no sense to start harping on about biological motherhood later, when it was irrelevant at the time the child was wanted, conceived, and born.

Neither do I get the “carried for 9 months, pain of labour” rubbish you see all over the place.

I don’t see this as a gay rights issue, or a religious issue. I see it as an issue about children and making sure they are loved, protected, and brought up living with AND seeing regularly the people who love them.

I’m a mother. My son is 4, and lives with me and his father (who are a couple). I was pregnant and gave birth to him, but Isaac is lucky enough to have a whole load of people who love him. My parents in law are both dead, and therefore the people he refers to as “Grandma” and “Grandpa” aren’t actually related by blood, they are close family friends of my in-laws. He also copies all my brothers and sisters in calling my parents Mum and Dad, so he has Mummy (me) Abba (his father), Mum and Dad (his grandparents) and Grandma and Grandpa (his other grandparents, albeit not by blood). And the only thing that matters is that all these people love him.

If we ever split up (and I hope we don’t) then Isaac will continue to have a relationship with his Grandma and Grandpa. It would be utterly wrong and hypocritical of me to decide that they are no longer his grandparents, just because my relationship with my child’s father ends.