It feels right now like our country is coming apart at the seams. I wish I had some answers; I don’t. All I have are a few suggestions for how to take action and find community right now.
First, it bears repeating: Pride was born from protest and resistance, led by people of color. Let us remember that we cannot have LGBTQ justice without also having racial justice. Not all of us, however, can take to the streets or join in-person protests, whether for reasons of health, our children’s needs, our remote location, or other factors. If you’re looking for other ways to make a positive difference towards racial justice right now, however, visit this website, which rounds up a number of options, including signing petitions, texting or calling public officials, and donating money in ways that will have an impact. (I have not personally vetted all of these links; please, as always, do your own due diligence.)
One of the most important things we can do as parents, however, is to talk with our kids about racism. As “How to talk to kids about racism: An age-by-age guide” from Today’s Parent notes, kids are never too young to start learning about race, because they are absorbing racial messages at a much younger age than we (especially we White parents) may think they are. I can only speak from my own perspective, which is that of the White parent of a White son—so here are three of the growing number of anti-racism resources for White parents online:
- EmbraceRace
- Raising Race-Conscious Children
- Facing History and Ourselves, especially their Educator Resources (aimed at teachers, but valuable for parents as well, especially for those homeschooling right now)
- Teaching Tolerance, which covers not only race, but also other identities (and while again aimed at teachers, is also useful for parents)
- For White parents raising children of color (and their families and friends), “The Realities of Raising a Kid of a Different Race,” by Karen Valby at TIME, feels useful.
Let’s also make sure we educate ourselves as we teach our kids. One place to start is “If you’re a white person wondering what to do during the George Floyd protests, I have some advice,” by writer and activist Michael Crawford.
UPDATE, June 3: Family Equality, myself, and the panelists at the below meetup have decided to postpone this event. Family Equality notes, “When we planned this event, we did not know that our nation would be in crisis from facing a heightened call to action to address our nation’s deep-seated and systemic racism. To make space for black creators, educators, activists, and families and to encourage those who are not part of the black community to use their free time to listen, learn, and continue to educate themselves and their families, we have decided to temporarily postpone the Moms Meetup for this week.” I fully support this decision and hope that you do as well.
Another thing that may help queer parents of any color right now, as we cope with racism, pandemic, the attempted rollback of LGBTQ rights, and the thousand daily tasks of parenting and other work, is to find community. It may help us feel like we’re not alone, whatever our particular challenges or concerns may be. You’re therefore invited to join me as I host an LGBTQ Moms Meetup with Family Equality this Thursday, June 4, at 8 p.m. ET/5 p.m. PT. Please RSVP here for the login info. I’ll be joined by a bevy of awesome moms whom you may know from social media:
Ebony and Denise from Team2MomsSamantha from @suddenlysamanthaChristina from BabybaileymamadramaKrystian from @Krystian_GabrielleTara from Living RosaRaff from @raffinee
Come join us to hear and share stories about how we’re all coping with life these days. We don’t have all the answers, of course, but we’re happy to seek them with you. (And if you don’t identify as a mom, don’t worry; Family Equality is hosting a number of meetups for parents of all identities. Check out their Neighborhood virtual hub for what’s coming up.)
I still believe we can create a better world. Let’s do this together, friends.