I’m not sure what angers me more: the many child custody cases in which a biological mom tries to stop a nonbiological mom from seeing their children after a divorce or separation—or a case in which a nonbiological mom claims she’s not a mom so she doesn’t have to pay child support.
The Supreme Court of Hawaii yesterday heard oral arguments in the case of C.C. v. D.D., two women who married in 2013. Throughout their marriage, Lambda Legal tells us, they talked about starting a family together, and in 2015, D.D. became pregnant through assisted reproduction using her own eggs and anonymous donor sperm. Their marriage deteriorated, however, and C.C. sought a court ruling that she is not a legal parent because, among other things, she is not the child’s biological parent—and thus not responsible for any child support. A lower court disagreed, saying that the marital presumption of parentage applied to same-sex spouses and that C.C. failed to prove that she did not consent to D.D.’s pregnancy. She was therefore a legal parent and responsible for child support. C.C. appealed to the state’s Intermediate Court of Appeals but then requested the case be transferred to the Supreme Court of Hawaii.
The outcome has yet to be determined, but Lambda gets at the heart of the matter in their press release: “Just like different-sex spouses, same-sex spouses must be treated as the presumed parents of children born during their marriage, with equal rights and equal responsibilities, including legal parentage and child support.”
I know break-ups are hard, especially for parents. But please, folks: whether you’re a biological parent, adoptive parent, or nonbiological, nonadoptive one, don’t spite your ex by trying to bend the laws that are giving legal protections to so many other families. Let’s make this a community matter, too. If you know anyone who’s trying to do this, please explain to them why it’s harmful to set precedents that say nonbiological, nonadoptive parents are not real parents.