Singer Laura Jane Grace, lead singer of the band Against Me, spoke today on NPR’s Fresh Air about the appeal of punk rock, her gender transition, and being a dad.
The whole interview between Grace and host Terry Gross is worth a listen as they also discuss gender stereotypes, songwriting, anarchy, and much more. As a parenting blogger, however, I was most interested in what Grace says towards the end about being a parent:
I want to be her dad, I am her dad, that’s my kid, no one else. Especially separating from her mother, [I had] the feeling of I’ll be damned if someone else is coming in here and all of the sudden going to be “dad” to my kid.
Maybe that’s a dumb, aggressive attitude to have about things, but as a parent I refuse to apologize for any way I feel over the protection of my kid. It was something that I wrestled with and eventually came to the conclusion that I am her dad, no matter what. And she says female pronouns, “she” and “her,” and she understands that I’m transgender and I am still her dad and she says “dad.” People will often, in front of the two of us, refer to me as her mommy, and we’ve never said that. People have a hard time accepting that sometimes things are different.
That, yeah, I’m trans, and I’m someone’s dad. And I would like you to call me she or her. And please call me Laura.
Thanks to Grace for reminding us that sometimes our parenting titles match our pronouns, and sometimes they don’t. (See also my reader-submitted list of “What Do Kids Call Their LGBTQ Parents?“)
Grace has a new memoir out, Tranny: Confessions of Punk Rock’s Most Infamous Anarchist Sellout
Here’s the interview with Laura Jane Grace.
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Phew! Iloved listening to that, thanks for sharing. I particularly loved hearing someone else want to be accepted as a transwoman and still be a dad!