I’m about to be the mother of a teenager. A little event we’re having for the occasion on Saturday means I’m going to be too busy actually parenting to be writing about parenting for the next couple of days. Hope you understand.
I couldn’t be prouder of our young man, who has studied and practiced for countless hours in preparation for this day. We’re not a super-observant family—my spouse Helen isn’t even Jewish—but we’ve all enjoyed this journey as he, and we, have learned more about this part of his heritage.
The Reform Judaism movement to which we belong also has a strong component of social justice, which very much aligns with our family values. For the social action project he was required to do as part of his bar mitzvah preparation, our son has been volunteering at a local animal shelter and collecting donations of food and supplies for them. I hope the idea of helping those in need—and working to repair the inequities of the world—stays with him in the years to come.
We are fortunate to be part of a congregation that welcomed our interfaith family. It also already had a number of LGBTQ congregants when we joined, and was not only welcoming, but active in supporting LGBTQ equality by going to Pride marches and petitioning elected officials on various pieces of legislation. And during the bar mitzvah tutoring, unprompted by me, the rabbi asked our son if he would prefer to say “honoring one’s parents” instead of the usual “honoring one’s father and mother” in one of the prayers. He did, and she said “Okay,” and that was that.
A bar mitzvah (or bat mitzvah for girls) comes at just the point in a person’s life when they are transitioning between childhood and adulthood. It marks the boundary, in some ways, but in others, it merely signifies the entrance into a wider transition period. Our son is now taller than I am (not that that takes much), but, like most people his age, still struggling between the desire for greater independence and the greater work and responsibility that such independence also brings. Still, I can only view him through a parent’s eyes and say he is doing wonderfully. I hope that the process of preparing for his bar mitzvah—learning to read a new language in a new alphabet; using that to chant a portion of the Torah according to archaic musical tropes; writing and delivering a speech on his portion—has shown him that he can do anything he sets his mind to.
Now, I have to set my own mind to making sure we have everything in order for our relatives coming in for the weekend, the service on Saturday, and the party afterwards. It’s going to be a fun time. Hope all of you have a joyous weekend as well.
Mazel tov!!!