Italy has just approved civil unions for same-sex couples—but without adoption rights. And in China, one of the first lesbian couples to start a family through in vitro fertilization tells their story.
Italy’s civil union bill became law last week, but without a provision to allow same-sex couples to adopt each other’s children. Marilena Grassadonia, head of the country’s Rainbow Families (Famiglie Arcobaleno) group, said, “Our children, beautiful as the sun, have been withdrawn because their serenity was about to undermine the entire ‘system of law.’ This is what happened, bluntly. The hypocrisy of our politics has reached the point of setting aside the children to achieve a political objective.” [“I nostri figli, belli come il sole, sono stati stralciati perché la loro serenitàstava per mettere in crisi l’intero ‘impianto delle legge.’ È questo quello che è successo, senza giri di parole. L’ipocrisia della nostra politica è arrivata al punto di mettere da parte i bambini pur di raggiungere un obiettivo politico.”]
Grassadonia and her spouse just got court approval to adopt each other’s children, but this sets no precedent. Subsequent couples who wish to do the same must similarly go through the courts.
Further around the world, NPR on Friday profiled Chinese women Rui Cai and Cleo Wu, who became parents of twins last month after traveling to the U.S. for in vitro fertilization (IVF), “one of the first [couples] in China known to have used this form of assisted reproduction.” Same-sex couples are not recognized in China, and “Only heterosexual, married couples are allowed to have children and, if needed, get access to reproductive services such as surrogacy.”
The women used eggs from one of them and donor sperm, while the other carried the embryos—the same method my spouse and I used. NPR notes that they are luckier than most in having the financial resources to travel for the procedure and to be able to use a private, rather than state-run, hospital for the birth. They are also lucky in having the support of their parents, who were okay with their relationship as long as they had children. Parental acceptance, argues Xu Bin, founder of the Beijing-based LGBT rights group Common Language, “[solves] most of your problems of being gay in China.” Still, government control over having children–for all citizens–still looms.
In the U.S., adoption rights in many places preceded relationship recognition. In Italy, that clearly isn’t the case. China, however, may be poised to follow the U.S.’s path. NPR relates, “Xu predicts that with legal marriage out of reach for the moment, forming families will be the main battlefront for China’s LGBT community.” If straight parents are likely to accept their gay and lesbian children as long as they have children, then Xu may be right. And the work Cai and Wu are doing to connect other lesbian prospective parents will be vital to progress. More power to them as they work towards equality for all families while also growing their own.