What’s it like being the nonbiological mom in a two-mom family? Check out U.K. comedian Jen Brister’s great series on being the “other mother” for one hilarious perspective.
In her first post of her “Tales from the Other Mother” series at Standard Issue, she writes:
When I’m out with my boys people just assume that I’m their only mum and that’s fine by me. The difficulty comes when people ask questions: “Was it a difficult birth?” “Are you breastfeeding?” “Does your husband help with the night feeds?” The answer to all of these questions is of course, “GO AWAY!” But I don’t say that; instead I stare blankly into the middle distance searching for the right way to explain my situation.
Many of us have been there, I know. (My own situation is slightly different since I am the genetic but not gestational mother, so my son sports my red hair, but never hung out in my womb—while he looks unrelated to my spouse, who lugged him around inside her for nine months.)
And in her latest piece, Brister writes of flipping through a baby book at a bookstore and noting the importance it gave to parental hair and eye color:
Being the Other Mum can feel weird sometimes; you do have to figure it out for yourself and with your partner otherwise you can end up staring wildly at a book in a shop before shouting at your girlfriend for no good reason.
Go read the rest of these and her other funny and insightful articles about being an “other mother” (as well as a few older ones about coming out and other aspects of lesbian life).
If you want additional perspectives on other mothering, check out the anthology Confessions of the Other Mother: Non-biological Lesbian Moms Tell All
(Thanks to Rainbow Parents of Australia for the tip!)