This week’s must-read is New York magazine’s story of a two-mom couple’s simultaneous pregnancies—but they’re far from the first such couple to do this.
Kate Elazegui and Emily Kehe began their family planning by trying for Kate to become pregnant. When she still wasn’t, after months of effort, they decided Emily would attempt it, even though Kate was giving it one last try. Surprise! They both got pregnant, and ended up having their sons four days apart.
In the New York interview, the two talk candidly about the ups and downs of getting pregnant, being pregnant, and having newborns. There were downsides:
Kate: The pros of it were that we both felt the same things, we had someone who understood, but there was no sympathy. There was empathy but no sympathy. There was no “Awww, honey. Sit down and let me rub your feet.” Because, fuck, I have to rub my own feet, too.
but also upsides:
I think because we had nine months of teamwork, we know how to read each other. I can tell when Emily is more tired than me. Or she may be like, “I have more energy, I will make dinner.” We had nine months of doing that for each other. I can’t even imagine if she had to go back to work and I had two babies at home. I would lose my mind. . . . It has made me so aware of how hard it is for mothers. At least Emily and I — sure, two babies is a lot — but we have four boobs, two moms, we have the same leave. We both know we can help each other. I have my best friend doing it with me.
Go read the whole thing for more insights and lots of photos—but first, note that they are far from the only couple to share the gravid state:
For another lesbian couple’s experience with double pregnancy, check out Times Two: Two Women in Love and the Happy Family They Made, Sarah Kate Ellis and Kristen Henderson’s memoir. Ellis is now executive director of GLAAD; Henderson is a founding member of the all-female rock band Antigone Rising. In alternating chapters, they tell their intertwining tale of coming out, falling in love, and starting a family.
Celebrity chef Cat Cora and her ex-spouse Jennifer also were pregnant together. And in 2008, Discovery Health aired “Quads with Two Moms,” profiling a lesbian couple who each gave birth to twins within a day of each other. I reviewed it here, and you can view the show now on YouTube: Part I and Part II. A year later, Erin Renzas wrote at Cookie magazine of three other two-mom couples who were pregnant at the same time. Cookie is defunct now, but you can view the article at Archive.org, although the formatting is off. (Try clicking and dragging over the page, then pasting it into a text editor for reading.)
Simultaneous pregnancies are not for every two-mom couple, of course. As Kate tells us, there are definite pluses and minuses. Yet the possibility of this experience is unique to two-mom couples and couples where one or both members are trans men. As such, we should celebrate it as part of our culture and thank those who have shared their particular take on it with us.