‘Tis the season for birth certificate cases. A couple in Indiana has filed a lawsuit to put both moms on their child’s birth certificate. Like my now-spouse and I, one is the genetic mom and the other the gestational.
Helen and I, before our son’s birth in 2003, petitioned our home state of New Jersey to put not only her (gestational) but also me (genetic) on his birth certificate and grant me a court order of parentage. It was a petition and not an antagonistic lawsuit, but we succeeded, even before marriage equality existed anywhere in the country. It remains to be seen whether Jackie and Lola Phillips-Stackman, the moms in Indiana, will manage the same in a state that has not been as friendly to same-sex parents.
Genetic mom Jackie told the Indianapolis Star “The thought of having to adopt my own child just rubbed me wrong, especially with all the planning we had done. It’s offensive.” I understand exactly how she feels—it’s the reason Helen and I petitioned New Jersey.
At the same time, as I said yesterday in relation to a similar case in Arkansas (and as the judge in that case himself said), it’s important to recognize that birth certificates may still not provide the legal surety of an adoption or court order. When Helen and I petitioned New Jersey, we got the court order along with the birth certificate. I’m not sure if the Phillips-Stackmans, or any of the other couples recently suing other states for birth certificates, are seeking court orders as well. I hope they’re getting legal advice appropriate for their situations, though, and for all of the possible situations they might find themselves in down the road.
I suspect that even after LGBTQ advocates have gotten all states to issue birth certificates bearing both same-sex parents, the next round of attacks on us will consist of challenges to one parent’s rights, despite being on the birth certificate. Even more sadly, I suspect that many of these cases will involve a biological parent challenging a nonbiological one, as we’ve seen in far too many divorce and separation lawsuits over the years. Let’s all commit to not doing that, no matter how nasty our breakups may be. It’s hard enough to win our rights without attacking ourselves as well.