Tennis legend Martina Navratilova married her partner Julia Lemigova several weeks ago. Only a few media outlets that covered their wedding noted Lemigova’s two daughters from a previous relationship, Navratilova’s stepchildren. Let’s take a look.
The BBC mentions the girls, but doesn’t quite nail the coverage, in my opinion. It says: “For Navratilova, there are actually two new roles today — wife and mother — Lemigova has two daughters. Navratilova reveals that Julia’s younger daughter had been badgering to propose to her mother all year. And if Martina feels anxious about becoming a mum herself at 58, she doesn’t show it.” Fact is, the girls are now thirteen and eight, and the couple started dating in 2006, so Navratilova has been around for a good portion of their lives. The role may not be as “new” as the BBC implies. Many same-sex couples do not — and many cannot — tie relationship roles to legal markers. I don’t know what the case is for Navratilova — but it’s not obvious that the BBC asked her, either.
Additionally, this isn’t the first time she has been partners with a woman who had children from a previous relationship. Judy Nelson, whom she was with in the 1980s, had two sons. People magazine quoted Navratilova as saying, “I not only took care of Judy, but of course her family, provided help with her parents and her kids — her two sons and their friends.” The paper reported that “Nelson’s husband gained custody of their two sons in a nondisputed agreement, but Navratilova sometimes pitched in to drive car pools for the boys. A few years later she gave Judy’s son Eddie a Porsche 944, which she had won in a tournament.” A WITA (Women’s International Tennis Association) calendar during this time featured Navratilova with her Wimbledon trophies and the boys in the background, reported On Tennis. The Daily Mail quotes Nelson as saying that when the couple split, “her sons have been hurt by the split as well,” although “Navratilova has not bothered to contact them.”
The U.K.’s Daily Mail is the only paper I’ve seen that has covered Navratilova’s relationship with the girls in any depth, although the general tone of the article is somewhat gossipy, and can’t quite grasp that Lemigova might be bisexual or coming out late in life. (It wonders “how a seemingly heterosexual beauty queen finds herself in the highest profile lesbian relationship of all.”)
Lemigova told the Daily Mail that she never had to explain her relationship with Martina to her daughters.
They never asked the question. They saw me being happy. It was that simple. Martina was just a part of the family. My girls adored her — right from the off really. She’d play tennis with them, do their homework with them and cook. They call her Marti — a short, sweet version of Martina.
Eventually, though, her oldest daughter began hearing people say negative things about same-sex couples (and maybe about her mother and Navratilova; the article isn’t clear) at school.
She asked, “Who is Martina?” so we had to sit down and talk about it. I said: “Martina is someone I love.” Her eyes went all wide. I remember saying: “I can’t imagine living without her.” Then we had a conversation about whether they liked Martina being around and I remember my daughter saying: “I want her to live with us, too.”’
Soon they were lobbying — successfully — for Martina to propose to their mother and, in the future, they may be adopted by her. ‘We are not ruling it out,’ says Julia.
Times change. Society is certainly more supportive of same-sex relationships and parenting today. Navratilova has likely evolved in her view of relationships as well, as we all do. It sounds like Lemigova’s daughters are eager to have her in their lives, and that’s a wonderful thing. Love may mean nothing in tennis, but it’s everything in a family.