I think most of the LGBT community in the U.S. is celebrating the election results this week, and rightly so. As we revel in the amazing reality of four states voting the right way on marriage equality, we should nevertheless remember that these political victories are only the tip of the iceberg. They rest on the everyday victories of LGBT people and our families—the courage that we find to make ourselves visible, changing hearts and minds one person at a time. I was reminded of this by a post over at The Adventures of K & D, a lesbian couple in Florida.

Back in April, I highlighted a post by Kari (K) in which she wrote about the importance of coming out for the sake of the children she hoped to have. She e-mailed me recently to let me know she and her wife Debbie (D) are finally having a baby! Congratulations to them! Not only that, but when they each told their respective co-workers, coming out to many of them in the process, they were received with applause and congratulations.

That’s where the victories are. That’s what makes the political wins possible. A willingness to live our lives openly and honestly, and a willingness of others to connect with us as equal human beings.

That doesn’t mean progress is easy or quick, as Kari makes clear in another post. But it’s where it all starts.