Snowy MountainThanks to the industrious folks at After Ellen, we now know there are four (count ’em, four!) out lesbian athletes in this year’s Olympics, and no gay male ones.

That didn’t stop Olympic organizers from having k.d. lang perform at the opening ceremonies, or prevent NBC from using Melissa Etheridge’s “This Moment” for the closing montage of their Sunday night coverage.

This got me thinking (though perhaps my brain was addled from watching the speedskaters earlier—mmm, speedskaters): Many of Melissa’s songs seem to match up well with Winter Olympic sports, to wit:

  • “Bring Me Some Water”: Cross-country skiing.
  • “Like the Way I Do”: Pairs skating.
  • “You Can Sleep While I Drive”: Bobsled (drivers only).
  • “Brave and Crazy”: This could fit a lot. Ski jumping and halfpipe snowboarding come to mind.
  • “An Unexpected Rain”: Downhill skiing (at least so far this week).
  • “Nowhere to Go”: Short-track speedskating.
  • “Touch and Go”: Short-track speedskating relay.
  • “Precious Pain”: Pretty much any of them.
  • And for the athletes who don’t medal, we have “Stronger than Me,” “I Could Have Been You,” and “No Souvenirs.”

Too much lesbian sporty geekiness? Naw. No such thing.

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