Finally, someone talking about women’s careers and families and not making it sound like an epic battle. In an article at Huffington Post, Emily Amick and Rosanna Hertz report on their survey of women from the Wellesley College classes of 2007, 2008 and 2009 “to find out their expectations for work and family.” What they discovered was a refreshing sense of balance:
To “have it all” these women are willing to sacrifice a little bit of everything. They envision a life plan in which they combine work and family while letting go of hardcore notions of success. They no longer feel forced to choose between becoming the top honcho and PTA mom of the year. . . .
While others may see them as “mommy tracked” or treading water when they leave the fast-track lanes, they are immune to being pigeonholed and labeled as less than competitive. They have chosen an alternative definition of success which includes remaining a member of their professions on their own terms.
Raised to believe they could be and do anything they want, the idea of choice has become the singular word that legitimizes anything and everything these young women do. . . . Feminism empowers them to make the decision they think is best for themselves. Hoping to be a stay at home mom or a working woman, both groups are simmering that they have to “make a choice” at all. . . .
This attitude (and I can’t believe it is exclusive to this group) portends greater social changes. These women want spouses or partners who will share household and childcare duties. They want parental leaves of six months to a year, so that a significant spell as a stay-at-home parent “might become a normal part of a work path rather than a terminating factor.” They also want better childcare and after-school programs so they don’t have to schedule and manage nannies: “These young women do not want to patch together care giving solutions. . . . Young women want their communities to play a significant role in meeting the demands of raising kids and continued employment. . . .”
Yes, they are worried about finding a happy balance. The outlook, however, seems less gloomy than when reported in the context of the media-hyped “mommy wars”:
These women are not willing to give up any part of their identity in deference of a success defined by someone else. . . . To do this, many are willing to let go of unrealistic notions of perfection and the intensive pace that has escalated in both corner offices and playgrounds. In the end though, they are confident that they truly will be able to find a balance, and “have it all.”
Amen to that. Worth reading the full article.
(Full disclosure: I am a Wellesley alumna. I reviewed Hertz’s book, Single by Chance, Mothers by Choice last fall.)