School-related news is flying faster than first graders at recess this week:
The Evesham Township School Board in New Jersey voted 7-1 to uphold the removal of the film That’s a Family! from its elementary health curriculum. The Board had eliminated the film in early February after some parents protested the documentary’s inclusion of same-sex families. After protests by Garden State Equality and fair-minded parents, it formed a review committee of educators, teachers, parents, and health curriculum experts. Tonight, the committee advised the Board to keep the film, but move it to 4th grade instead of 3rd. The Board rejected their entire recommendation.
Blue Jersey reports:
Based on their reaction, the decision was pretty clearly based on the school board being uncomfortable with the gay community. There will probably be litigation following this decision. Steven Goldstein, the chair of Garden State Equality, says this is “far from over”.
That’s a Family! is an award-winning half-hour documentary designed for elementary school children and shown across the country. It features elementary school children being raised by parents of different races or religions, adoptive parents, single parents, divorced parents, gay or lesbian parents, and grandparents serving as guardians. In a press release from Women’s Educational Media, which produced the film, Director Debra Chasnoff said:
This decision sends the message that not all families—and not all children—are welcome in the Evesham Township School District. It is simply not possible to create a supportive learning environment for children whose families were just erased from the curriculum. We regularly hear from educators, counselors, and parents throughout the country who have found That’s A Family! to be a valuable tool in combating prejudice, encouraging empathy, and creating educational environments conducive to learning. This decision will have a negative impact on the development of Evesham’s youth and the entire community for years to come.
It also comes mere days after two couples in Lexington, Massachusetts said they are appealing a U.S. District Court dismissal of their claim that the local public school district violated their rights by teaching their children about same-sex families. My comments on that case apply yet again. Banning us from the curriculum can’t alter the fact that our kids will be sitting next to everyone else’s, or stop them from talking about their parents during show and tell. Or can it? What impact will bans or attempted bans have on our children’s pride, self-confidence, social interactions, and safety? What message is the ban sending to students about how to treat those who are different? How do we as parents walk the fine line between the visibility needed to combat incidents like this and our children’s need to control how they disclose personal information about their families, especially as they grow older?
[Update: Steven Goldstein, Chair of Garden State Equality, has given us an inside look at the night’s events.]
(Photo Credit: Women’s Educational Media.)
So often I try to form a reasoned response. Reading this now, all I could muster was f*ckity f*ckin f*ck! Ahem. Sorry about the spittle in your comment stream. Thanks for the update from Steven Goldstein.
So often I try to form a reasoned response. Reading this now, all I could muster was f*ckity f*ckin f*ck! What a world! What the — Ahem. Sorry about the spittle in your comment stream. Thanks for the update from Steven Goldstein. We’ll all be watching the NJ courts. Go Garden State Equality.
O dear. Let me add an apology to not just the spittle, but the double spittle.
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It is times like this that I am glad to be living in Canada. We may be cautious in what we do, but at least we DO accept the equality of ALL our people and families (well, ok, maybe not completely yet, but we do have our Charter if Rights and Freedoms to move things along).
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The issue is advocacy groups creating political documentaries that are shown to students who are unable to respond or even fully understand the message.
For example, would you want the NRA creating a documentary on the joys of hunting and showing it to 8 year olds? How about the oil and gas industry using an energy independence video to encourage drilling in Anwar? I doubt you would support that.
I don’t care about it being an award winning documentary – Leni Riefenstahl has awards for a documentary too.
You need to stop trying to indoctrinate children with your equality arguments in trojan horse children documentaries and start addressing adults who can vote. If you have a valid civil rights argument fair minded Americans will certainly listen. However, using techniques that can be perceived as devious or dishonest – like showing this film to 8 year olds – will only discredit your cause.
For the record, I have gay friends, I like them and I have no problem with them getting to join the club of miserable married couples – just don’t expect 8 year olds to understand your political message. However, do expect people with traditional moral beliefs to resent your attempts to subvert their moral codes through devious means.
If you can’t understand my point than you are ideologically insensitive and guilty of the same bigotry you see in others. Remember that this is a democracy, and that all points of view should be heard – but not necessarily by 8 year olds.
My four-year-old son fully understands “the message” that he has two moms. I don’t see what’s so difficult about that. I also don’t think that explaining to kids that some of their peers have two moms or two dads is any more political than explaining that some kids are adopted, or immigrate from other countries, or reflect any of the other innumerable variations of families today. We’re not talking politics here–we’re talking about kids being able to understand and respect each other’s backgrounds, similarities, and differences.
I feel I need to clarify my previous remarks. I do support your cause. It may not have been clear from my first posting.
I know people in that school district and they were quite angry that the message went to their children without their knowledge. I also think the school administrators handled the situation poorly.
I’m hoping you understand my point of view as a straight parent – engage us honestly and you will win the argument. It’s just a matter of time before you get the rights you seek in the US.
I believe this documentary was counterproductive because it mobilizes your opponents and hurts your cause.
Please listen to people who support you but are not like you. That doesn’t mean we need to always agree. I don’t need to be like you, think like you or always agree with you to be your friend.
My husband and I are Catholic, ultra conservative parents with four kids.
We are teaching our kids to be kind to all people no matter what their beliefs or religion, that said… this is not up to anyone but me and my husband to teach them… and my husband and I have the right to also tell our kids that being kind does not mean that we agree with same sex, sex before marriage etc.
Why is it that my beliefs are not ok in my family? You are making the choice for me that I Have to teach my kids things that we don’t think are o.k…. I will never tolerate my kids bashing or treating anyone poorly but I will teach them that in our faith we believe that it is a sin if you act on homosexual behavior and we also believe that it is a sin to live together outside of marriage, maybe you don’t agree with us but isn’t that my right as an American to have my own religious beliefs? I’m so sick of people telling me how to raise my kids… I don’t tell you how raise your kids… so why… tell me why… I have to now change my religious beliefs to fit yours? Why are you so intent on forcing your agenda on us? I’m not going to force my religion on you.. do what you want, I don’t care.. but please don’t ask me to give up my rights to raise my children in the Catholic faith and to teach them what our faith says about sin… please remember that we all have the right to teach our children… I’m not ok with the film and would never allow my kids to watch it… isn’t that my right? Or do you want to take that right from me?
Also, to Dana, that is fine that your son understands that, but I have the right to tell my four year old son that although another child has two mommies or two daddies and that he must be nice to that child, I also have the right to tell my child that we believe that those little boys parents in our opinion are living in sin and that in our faith it is not o.k.
That is my right… I don’t have to believe it is o.k. just as I can teach my children that swearing is a sin, shop lifting is a crime and a sin, having sex outside of marriage is a sin, etc. it just sounds like you think I have to change my beliefs? Why? I don’t think it is o.k., do I hate you? No way…. I just don’t agree with you and I’m sure you don’t agree with me and thats just fine.. teach your son what you will and I will never ask you to teach him what I believe… so don’t ask that of me.. I agree that children should learn to treat all people with respect and kindness, but I also have the right to teach my kids that certain behavior is a sin in our faith, hate the sin but love the sinner… this is my faith, this is who I am… I am not asking you to change who you are, but please respect my beliefs as well.
You certainly have the right to teach your son that it is a sin to be gay or lesbian. I do not agree that it is, but am in no way denying you the right to teach your children so if that is what you believe.
At the same time, with legal recognition of same-sex relationships a reality in more and more places, I think it is reasonable for schools to acknowledge that these relationships exist, and to depict them in films and books when talking about different types of families. That doesn’t mean you have to agree that such relationships are acceptable. As parents, we will both find times when we disagree with something our schools teach our children, and it is up to us to communicate with our children and teach them what we ourselves believe.
Dana, I really have no problem with schools teaching these things as long as they give parents the heads up and send home notice that they will be talking about or showing these types of movies and let parents know that if they want their child to opt out of such shows, classes, etc. that they will make sure their kids are opted out… we send our kids to a private Catholic school for k-6th but from 7th-12th they are in public school and in our small rural MN town, our public school has to inform parents of anything outside of the regular education of reading, math, etc. so that parents can opt their child out and that is all I ask for, these are my kids and I have the right to send them to school to learn about reading, math, social studies, etc. I am not sending my kids to school to learn about the makeup of families or different families, we teach that in the home and at religious education, I don’t want the school teaching my kids these things, and I think that in the case stated above, the show could have been shown and the parents that wanted their kids to opt out should have been given that option, that way the parents that wanted their kids to view it could have done so and the parents that didn’t want their kids to view it also could have their wishes complied with.
I just know that for my kids, I’m sending them to school for an education in reading, math, social, English, etc. it is my right as a parent to teach all the “other” things to my kids without help from the school and if the school thinks it needs to help some families, they need to make sure they also give the option for the rest of us to opt our kids out, we should have that right. I know that they teach sex education at school with the option to opt your kids out, we opted our 14 yr old daughter out of that class as did half the other parents, that is all I’m saying, schools must inform parents ahead of time and let them know that they can opt their child out.
Nothing seems to be easier than seeing someone whom you can help but not helping.
I suggest we start giving it a try. Give love to the ones that need it.
God will appreciate it.