Snow Songs from Erin Lee and Marci

Children’s musicians Erin Lee and Marci bring us the next of their regular posts with thematic recommendations for kid-friendly music, plus activities to make the songs an interactive experience for the whole family.

Look for Erin Lee and Marci here on the first Monday of each month, or visit their homepage, www.gottaplay.org.

I’ve created links to Amazon for the full albums (click the album image or name), plus links to Amazon MP3 downloads, when available, for those who want only the singles. (Click the song name.) I also have a widget after the jump that will let you preview most of the songs without leaving Mombian.

This blog is being written from two completely different locals: Marci is in her hometown in sunny Florida and Erin Lee is in her hometown in Canada. Erin Lee’s been there six days…and it’s snowed for six days! So, of course, snow is going to highly influence this month’s column. Read the rest of this post »

Prop 8 Case and Kids: Says Who?

Here’s a fun one for you. Which of these two quotes was made by a witness for the plaintiffs, and which by a witness for the defense, in the federal trial to overturn California’s Prop 8?

“I believe that adopting same-sex marriage would be likely to improve the well-being of gay and lesbian households and their children.”

“For a significant number of [children with same-sex parents], their adjustment would be promoted were their parents able to get married.”

Stumped? I explore these quotes and some of the differences between the two witnesses in a piece over at Keen News Service.

Weekly Political Update

• President Obama, in his State of the Union speech, said he would work with Congress and the military to repeal Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell “this year.” The Advocate rounds up some of the reactions.
• DC Agenda reports that “LGBT political insiders . . . believe the Employment Non-Discrimination Act is headed for almost certain defeat this year.”
• Openly gay U.S. Rep. Jared Polis (D-CO) has introduced a bill to make discrimination or harassment of LGBT students in public schools against federal law.
• The Prop 8 trial concluded testimony this week, although Judge Vaughn Walker has asked for time to review the case before both sides make their closing arguments. You can’t swing a virtual cat in the LGBT blogosphere without seeing coverage of the trial. I’ll point out the same venues I did last week that have been covering the trial in detail: Bilerico, the Courage Campaign, Keen News Service, the San Jose Mercury News, Pam’s House Blend, and the New York Times through its Bay Area Blog. Read the rest of this post »

Preview Review: A Family Is a Family Is a Family

Rosie O’Donnell’s new documentary A Family Is a Family Is a Family, premieres this Sunday, January 31, at 7 p.m. ET on HBO. I’ve seen a screener, and here are my thoughts.

Overall, this is a great film, aimed at the elementary school ages, that focuses on children of various backgrounds speaking about their families. There are children with same-sex parents, opposite-sex parents, single parents, parents of different races, adoptive parents, children living with grandparents, and more. It is a wide-ranging sampling of the great diversity of family life in our country. If there is one gap, it is that there are no children with transgender parents—or at least none that speak about having them. Read the rest of this post »

“She Got Me Pregnant”: Episode 97

Helen and I discuss our six-year-old’s letter to the president about health care reform. We also share our thoughts on LGBT families and California’s Proposition 8, Rosie O’Donnell’s upcoming show for kids, the impact of divorce on families, and a new list of LBGT-inclusive books from the American Library Association.

(If the embedded video above doesn’t work for you, try it at Dailymotion.)

Brought to you in partnership with After Ellen.

But How Do We Support Same-Sex Partners In the Military?

President Obama called for the repeal of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” last night in his State of the Union speech. Bravo. I hope the LGBT community—and all citizens who want to see our military strengthened with all who wish to serve—hold him to that.

Here’s my question, though: Once we allow gay men and lesbians to serve openly, will we allow them to serve with the full range of benefits due any servicemember? Including spousal benefits? Including benefits for their children even if they are non-biological parents and stationed in a state where they cannot do a second-parent adoption?

I’ve gone on about this before, so I’ll just point you back to that post.

Could the repeal of DADT be the domino that sets off the chain towards federal relationship recognition, or will the fear of such recognition be the sticking point that once again delays DADT?

I sure hope somebody has a plan.

Quote of the Week (Perhaps the Year)

“The only thing the State or anybody should be looking at, the best interests of the child and how he is loved.”

—Florida Judge Maria Sampedro-Iglesia, in granting Vanessa Alenier’s petition to adopt an infant cousin, despite the state ban on gay men and lesbians adopting children (via Nancy Polikoff)

LGBT Parenting Roundup

Parenting Studies

• “How Does the Gender of Parents Matter?” asks the lead article in this month’s Journal of Marriage and Family. The answer, from sociologists Timothy Biblarz of University of Southern California and Judith Stacey of New York University, is that it doesn’t, with the “partial exception of lactation.” The gender of parents “has minor significance for children’s psychological adjustment and social success.” Not news to most of us, but if you’ve been following any of the Prop 8 trial out in California, you’ll know how important reputable academic research is for all of the political and legal battles we’re fighting.

Politics and Law

• A Miami-Dade judge has declared Florida’s adoption law “unconstitutional on its face” and allowed lesbian Vanessa Alenier to adopt the one-year-old she has been fostering. This is the third legal adoption in Florida by a gay man or lesbian, rare rulings in a state that bans gay men and lesbians from adopting. A sign of change, perhaps? We still await a ruling in the more well-known case of Martin Gill, who was permitted to adopt in November 2008, but is fighting a state appeal. Read the rest of this post »

Work/Life and LGBT Families on Fem 2.0 Radio Today

Work/life balance is an issue near and dear to many of our hearts. Achieving that balance can be even tougher for LGBT people, who may have to contend with a variety of unfriendly laws, policies, and attitudes.

I’ll be speaking this afternoon on Fem 2.0’s “Work/Life in Our Communities Blog Radio Series” as part of a panel on “Work/Life and LGBT Families: Reimagining Policy for ALL Families in the 21st Century.” Thanks to Heather Holdridge and Gloria Pan for the invitation.

I’ll be joining Cathy Renna, head of Renna Communications, and Jaime Grant, Director of the Policy Institute for the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force, both also lesbian moms. Good company indeed!

There will be a live chat and tweetup of the event (#fem2 and #worklife), and you can also dial in to participate: (724) 444-7444; Call ID: 74229. I hope you’ll join us, despite the short notice.

The show will air 1-2 p.m. ET, but will also be available for later listening. Go here to listen, or try the widget below. (Sometimes it needs a few seconds to load.)

What’s In a Name?

I am not “Mrs. Rudolph.” That should not surprise readers here, for lesbians who take a partner or spouse’s name (and are thus eligible for the “missus” title) are few and far between. Rudolph was the last name I was born with, and despite the inevitable jokes at Christmas time, it’s the name I’ll keep for the rest of my life.

My son’s teachers, however (and, I venture to guess, most of the teachers in the school), insist on calling all of the mothers “Mrs. [Lastname].” All of his peers also seem to use “Mrs” for adult women.

Maybe it’s just my inherent feminism, not to mention too many years in the corporate world, where “Ms.” was de regueur. I twitch involuntarily when I hear someone address me as “Mrs. Rudolph.”

I’m trying not to make a big deal of it. I also really don’t want to come across as the uptight, oversensitive, PC type. I’m not, really.

I try to gently correct. “Ms. Rudolph,” I say —but it never seems to stick.

On the other hand, I am out to my son’s teachers, so the fact that they call me “Mrs.” is in some way a positive acknowledgment of my relationship status. That’s progress of a sort, even if feminism still has a ways to go.

Anyone else ever encounter this? How do you handle it?