ArchivesSelves and Identities Archives - Mombian

Mistaken Sperm, Harmful Racism


As a mother who used a sperm bank to start my family, and as someone who works in my day job for a program that addresses racial inequities, among others, I feel compelled to write about a disconcerting lawsuit that has been making headlines: That of a lesbian mother suing a sperm bank for sending her the wrong sperm — something she discovered only after she was pregnant. The added complication is that much of the lawsuit revolves around the fact that the donor is Black, while she and her partner are White, and had chosen a White donor.


How Many Children Have an LGBT Parent?

LGBT Families

How many children in the U.S. have an LGBT parent? A new study gives us fresh answers — but we need to be careful how we quote them.


Watch: Video Poem Celebrates Marriage Equality


I can think of no better way to start today than with this video of U.S. Inaugural Poet Richard Blanco’s new poem, “Until We Could.” It captures the spirit of the fight for marriage equality — but more than that, it captures the spirit of marriage.


Facebook Adds Gender-Neutral Terms for Family Members


When Facebook earlier this year added many nonbinary options for indicating gender, I complained that the range of choices to indicate family members who are also on Facebook remained traditionally gendered. No more. They’ve just added gender-neutral options for many family members.


LGB Families: What We Know and What We Don’t

LGBT Families

A recent report from UCLA’s Williams Institute on the state of research about LGB families not only reiterates that our children are doing as well as anyone else’s, but also offers some lesser-known insights about the composition and strengths of our families — and gives thoughtful suggestions for the direction of future research.


Watch: Mother Tells Story of Her Transgender Daughter


This video of Debi Jackson, a self-proclaimed “conservative Southern Baptist Republican from Alabama,” talking about her six-year-old transgender daughter, will bring tears of happiness to your eyes.


New Dungeons & Dragons Rules Embrace Diverse Gender Identities, Sexual Orientation


Yep, I’m that kind of geek. I first played Dungeons & Dragons — the original edition — back in high school in the early 80s. Now my son plays. I was thrilled, therefore, to discover that the new version of D&D, which officially launches next week, is clearly and deliberately inclusive of a diverse range of gender identities, gender expressions, and sexual orientations.


Why This Straight Mom Brings Her Kids to Pride


As Pride Month winds down, I want to give a nod to our allies, who play a vital role in building bridges as we move towards equality. One example is mom Emily Rosenbaum, who writes at Kveller about walking in Boston’s Pride Parade with her kids and their synagogue. They go to Pride, she says, […]


Stories of Pride

Photo credit: Ludovic Bertron

It’s Pride Month once again, which means that I am once again inspired to take stock of what I’m proud of this year. As always, my son tops the list. He’s finishing elementary school this month, which seems incredible, not because I ever doubted he’d do it, but because it seems just yesterday that I […]


Daughter of Two Moms Reflects on Pride Parades Past and Present


Ruth Krebs Buck, who grew up going to Pride parades with her two moms, wonders what happens now that she is grown up and straight. What is her place in the LGBTQ community?


“Just Like You”: How LGBT Families Are the Same — and Different


Many of us LGBT parents spend a lot of time trying to show that we’re similar to any other parents when it comes to the basics of parenting — dealing with diapers, skinned knees, and school field trips just like anyone else. We also spend a lot of time explaining how our families are different — in large part because of the unequal laws under which we live. Mom, blogger, and UCC minister Rev. Eliza Buchakjian-Tweedy has written a piece that wonderfully captures her experience with this tension between same and different.


Watch: This Is What Accepting Our Children Looks Like

From the time he could talk, the Whittington family’s child Ryland insisted he was a boy, even though his parents initially thought he was a girl. Their support of his true identity is a heartwarming and inspiring story for all parents.


Conservative Southern Baptist Republican Mom Supports Her Transgender Child

Image credit: ParaDox

If you read just one post this week, make it “The Lord Looks at the Heart: When My Son Became My Daughter,” by Debi Jackson, a self-described “conservative Southern Baptist Republican from Alabama.”


Is That Question Rude?


Many of us LGBT parents have had someone ask us a rude question about our families, starting with the classic fumble, “Who’s the real mom?” Two recent videos — one funny, one clever — offer advice for helping people determine if a question about someone’s family or self is offensive.


Parenting as a Butch


I’m always thrilled at how really, truly diverse the LGBT community is, beyond just the broad categories people tend to think of when they typically think of “diversity.” We subdivide down into a glorious array of shared identities and individuality. Two writers proved that recently by each offering a different perspective on parenting as a butch.


Trans Parent, Trans Kid Come to Our Screens


Transparent, a new half-hour drama from Jill Soloway (United States of Tara, Six Feet Under), centers around a transgender parent who is just beginning to transition and come out to family members. But an even more impressive portrayal of a trans character right now may be that of trans teen Cole on The Fosters.


Audre Lorde on Family

Audre Lorde, self-described “black, lesbian, mother, warrior, poet,” would have turned 80 this week had cancer not taken her in 1992. Here’s what she said about family in 1975.


Lesbian Moms, Queer Daughter: One Story


It’s a myth that LGBTQ parents will necessarily have LGBTQ kids. Some will, however, simply because some percentage of parents, LGBTQ and not, always will. At COLAGE’s KidSafe blog, Sonya, who identifies as queer and has lesbian moms, writes about being a “second-gen” LGBTQ person — but also about how she and her moms have “Two Separate Identities.”


Facebook Adds Gender Options, But Needs More for Parents, Children, Family


Facebook took a positive step forward today by offering users the ability to indicate a gender option other than just female or male. Now one can choose transgender, trans woman, trans man, trans person, intersex, genderqueer, gender fluid, and many other variations — about 50 in all. But the range of choices to indicate family members who are also on Facebook remains traditionally gendered.


New Online Safe Space for Kids with LGBTQ Parents


This post is all about our kids. First and most practically, COLAGE, the national organization for people with LGBTQ parents, has launched the KidSafe blog, an online safe space “to document the struggles, rewards and experiences that come along with having one or more LGBTQ parent.” Read on to learn more, along with a few additional recent tidbits about those with LGBTQ parents.


For Martin Luther King Day: Race, Parenting, and Representation

For Martin Luther King, Jr. Day, it seemed appropriate to mention two recent Internet postings that highlight issues of race and parenting.


The Gift of the Tomatillos: A Tale of Identity


Identity is a funny thing. Sometimes we think we will be known a certain identity, only to find out that is not the case, as a recent encounter with a neighbor reminded me.


Actor Maria Bello Comes Out to Her Son — and the World

Photo credit: Thomas Attila Lewis

If you read just one piece today, make it “Coming Out as a Modern Family,” by actor and activist Maria Bello (ER, Coyote Ugly, The Jane Austen Book Club, Prisoners, and the unfortunately short-lived U.S. version of Prime Suspect, among others). Bello writes in the New York Times about her relationship with another woman, coming out to her son, and why she refuses to put a label on her love.


Transgender Day of Remembrance

Photo credit: Bangin

Today marks the 15th International Transgender Day of Remembrance, a day to memorialize those who were killed due to anti-transgender hatred or prejudice. My thoughts today are with all of the transgender community, their parents, children, and friends.


Watch: Teen Presents on “Growing Up with Two Moms” at National Association of the Deaf Conference


Jehanne McCullough is 17, a senior at the Maryland School for the Deaf, and has two moms. She recently gave a presentation at the 2013 Jr. NAD (National Association of the Deaf) Conference, in which she discusses her moms and what schools can do to be more inclusive of children with same-sex parents. Watch the video below.