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Parenting as a Butch


I’m always thrilled at how really, truly diverse the LGBT community is, beyond just the broad categories people tend to think of when they typically think of “diversity.” We subdivide down into a glorious array of shared identities and individuality. Two writers proved that recently by each offering a different perspective on parenting as a butch.


Trans Parent, Trans Kid Come to Our Screens


Transparent, a new half-hour drama from Jill Soloway (United States of Tara, Six Feet Under), centers around a transgender parent who is just beginning to transition and come out to family members. But an even more impressive portrayal of a trans character right now may be that of trans teen Cole on The Fosters.


Audre Lorde on Family

Audre Lorde, self-described “black, lesbian, mother, warrior, poet,” would have turned 80 this week had cancer not taken her in 1992. Here’s what she said about family in 1975.


Lesbian Moms, Queer Daughter: One Story


It’s a myth that LGBTQ parents will necessarily have LGBTQ kids. Some will, however, simply because some percentage of parents, LGBTQ and not, always will. At COLAGE’s KidSafe blog, Sonya, who identifies as queer and has lesbian moms, writes about being a “second-gen” LGBTQ person — but also about how she and her moms have “Two Separate Identities.”


Facebook Adds Gender Options, But Needs More for Parents, Children, Family


Facebook took a positive step forward today by offering users the ability to indicate a gender option other than just female or male. Now one can choose transgender, trans woman, trans man, trans person, intersex, genderqueer, gender fluid, and many other variations — about 50 in all. But the range of choices to indicate family members who are also on Facebook remains traditionally gendered.


New Online Safe Space for Kids with LGBTQ Parents


This post is all about our kids. First and most practically, COLAGE, the national organization for people with LGBTQ parents, has launched the KidSafe blog, an online safe space “to document the struggles, rewards and experiences that come along with having one or more LGBTQ parent.” Read on to learn more, along with a few additional recent tidbits about those with LGBTQ parents.


For Martin Luther King Day: Race, Parenting, and Representation

For Martin Luther King, Jr. Day, it seemed appropriate to mention two recent Internet postings that highlight issues of race and parenting.


The Gift of the Tomatillos: A Tale of Identity


Identity is a funny thing. Sometimes we think we will be known a certain identity, only to find out that is not the case, as a recent encounter with a neighbor reminded me.


Actor Maria Bello Comes Out to Her Son — and the World

Photo credit: Thomas Attila Lewis

If you read just one piece today, make it “Coming Out as a Modern Family,” by actor and activist Maria Bello (ER, Coyote Ugly, The Jane Austen Book Club, Prisoners, and the unfortunately short-lived U.S. version of Prime Suspect, among others). Bello writes in the New York Times about her relationship with another woman, coming out to her son, and why she refuses to put a label on her love.


Transgender Day of Remembrance

Photo credit: Bangin

Today marks the 15th International Transgender Day of Remembrance, a day to memorialize those who were killed due to anti-transgender hatred or prejudice. My thoughts today are with all of the transgender community, their parents, children, and friends.


Watch: Teen Presents on “Growing Up with Two Moms” at National Association of the Deaf Conference


Jehanne McCullough is 17, a senior at the Maryland School for the Deaf, and has two moms. She recently gave a presentation at the 2013 Jr. NAD (National Association of the Deaf) Conference, in which she discusses her moms and what schools can do to be more inclusive of children with same-sex parents. Watch the video below.


“Growing Up Gayby” Premiering Next Week in Australia


Next Wednesday (Nov. 20), the Australian Broadcasting Corporation (ABC) will premiere the documentary “Growing Up Gayby,” which follows a filmmaker with lesbian moms as she herself interviews “a slew of ‘gaybies’” and right-wing pundits “in an attempt to make sense of what ‘family’ is in the 21st century.”


The First Time a Child Asked My Son “Where’s Your Dad?”


I have a new post up at HuffPo that I hope you’ll pop over and read (and please “Like” it over there if you enjoy it): “In the Sandbox.” It’s a revised version of an old piece from when my son was younger, describing the first time another child asked him, “Where’s your dad?”


Take a Selfie Today for “A Day in LGBT America”


Taking a selfie today isn’t narcissistic. For the third year in a row, The Advocate is compiling photos depicting “A Day in LGBT America,” and they want people to take and share their pictures. Let’s make sure lots of us parents participate! Here’s how.


The World’s First LGBT Parent


As this year’s LGBT History Month gets into full swing, I find myself wondering, “Who was the world’s first known LGBT parent?” To the best of my knowledge, she was the Greek poet Sappho, whose island home of Lesbos gave us the term “lesbian.” Sappho seems to have had a daughter named “Cleis”—meaning we can trace LGBT parents back to about 600 BCE.


New Feature Film About Lesbian Mom in 1950s


Question: What 1952 — 1952! — book was about a married mother who leaves her husband for another woman, only to battle him in court for custody of their daughter? Read on for the answer, as well as more about the story coming to the big screen.


Betty Crocker Celebrates ALL Families


A treat for your weekend viewing: In honor of yesterday’s National Coming Out Day, Betty Crocker posted a wonderful video of LGBT families at the New York City and Twin Cities Pride events this year.


Coming Out and Being Visible As a Lesbian Mom


Today is National Coming Out Day. As I mentioned in my coming out resources post yesterday, I came out well before I became a parent. Yet even being out from Day One of parenthood doesn’t mean visibility is easy. Here are a few things my experience has taught me.


Coming Out Resources for LGBT Parents


Tomorrow is National Coming Out Day. I came out well before I became a parent; other LGBT parents may be motivated to come out because they are becoming parents (like celebrity gay dads Ricky Martin and Clay Aiken each did). Still others come out to our children after the children thought we were straight or cis-gendered. For those in the latter category, here are some resources to help you do so. Tomorrow, I’ll post about my own experience and why I think being visible still presents challenges, no matter how out we think we are.


LGBT History Month Parenting Trivia Answer


And the answer to yesterday’s LGBT History Month parenting trivia question is:


LGBT History Month Trivia: Name that Famous LGBT Parent


What better way to celebrate LGBT History Month than with a trivia question about a historical LGBT parent? Can you name this famous LGBT parent, described by his son as below (after the jump)?


Lesbian and Gay History for Teens


(This is a slightly revised version of a piece I wrote for my Mombian newspaper column several years ago, but which seemed worth reposting in honor of LGBT History Month.)

Gay AmericaLGBT History Month is the perfect time to write about Linas Alsenas’ Gay America: Struggle for Equality (Amulet: 2008), a history of gay men and lesbians in the U.S. from the mid-nineteenth century through 2005. It fills a much needed gap, not because of the subject (there are a small but a growing number of LGBT-specific histories), but because of its audience: teens.


Milestones in LGBT Parenting History

I originally wrote this for my Mombian newspaper column last year, but as it’s LGBT History Month once again, I thought I’d rerun it—a look at some of the historical milestones—of laws, visibility, and community—related to LGBT parents.


“Moms Get Real About Race in America”: Read the Posts!

In honor of the 50th Anniversary of the Civil Rights March on Washington this week, has published a blog carnival, “Moms Get Real About Race in America.”


Post of the Week: “What do you call your moms?”


Emma Tattenbaum-Fine has two moms, and recently tackled the age-old question of “What do you call your moms?”