Helen and I did not go to the Dinah Shore weekend this year, but we recreate the event (minus the lesbian pool parties) with a homemade mini-golf tournament in our living room. Yes, it’s harder to take off for events like the Dinah when you have kids, but there’s no excuse not to travel with your young ones. In between holes, we offer some tips for doing so.

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When Rep. Tammy Baldwin of Wisconsin went with a congressional delegation to Europe, she brought along her spouse, as did other members of Congress. Or at least she wanted to. The Pentagon at first said her spouse, Lauren Azar, who had exchanged vows with Baldwin in 1998, could not take the flight. Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi had to intervene before Azar was allowed on board.

Funny how discrimination looks different when it happens to someone one knows. Several Republicans even argued for Azar’s presence on the trip, according to sources who spoke with Politico. They said that Texas Rep. Joe Barton, the ranking Republican on the Energy and Commerce Committee, was also on the trip, and “very vocal in his support of Baldwin.”

The Pentagon says the issue is not a matter of DOD regulations, but rather of House rules, which permit spouses (and sometimes an adult child) to travel with members of Congress on military planes if there is room. They say they were only following House rules by banning Azar, who is not a legal spouse. Speaker Pelosi, on the other hand, is awaiting a follow-up letter from Gates with new criteria for congressional use of military airplanes, containing, we assume, provision for same-sex partners.

Maybe it’s just my partisanship, but I can’t help seeing the DOD, with its “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy, as the ones at fault here. Maybe it’s just that they don’t want to see members of Congress getting perks that the military denies to its own servicemembers, like recognition of same-sex spouses. Let’s see what you think:

Kansas-based Garmin, makers of Global Positioning System (GPS) technology, today announced the availability of its “Gay Positioning System.” The new handheld units not only tell users how to find their way on the road, but also point out the status of their relationships as they cross city and state lines.

“A couple could be married in Massachusetts, civil unioned in Connecticut, domestic partnered in DC, or now, mutually committed in Salt Lake City,” said Dr. Min Kao, Chairman and CEO. “Who better than Garmin to give them up-to-the-minute information that helps them find their way both geographically and legally?”

As the company says on its Web site, “We don’t just design and sell products, we embrace the lifestyles.”

Passing along this notice courtesy of Robin Reagler at The Other Mother:

Women’s Wonderlands: Good Lesbian Travel Writing

Gillian Kendall is currently soliciting submissions for a new anthology from University of Wisconsin Press, which will be a sister edition to Wonderlands: Good Gay Travel Writing, edited by Raphael Kadushin. Wonderlands has had terrific success, selling out of its first print run after the W hotel chain made copies of the book available to selected guests.

For this anthology of lesbian travel writing, she does not want travel writing per se please, no destination pieces, no hotel-beach-tour reviews, nothing that would be even remotely right for Conde Nast Traveler. Wonderlands pieces are emphatically not consumer travel pieces; they are impressionistic, literary travel pieces in the tradition of fine travel writing. There are no forbidden topics, but we don’t want anything dogmatic. What Kendall does want is an anthology of personal stories that have a strong travel element. In other words, the stories should be about people, but the place should matter too.

If you’re wondering what that means, read Wonderlands itself — you can order it from Amazon. In this collection by gay men, nearly every piece is beautifully written, moving, funny, or all three. Or read Gillian Kendall’s book, Mr. Ding’s Chicken Feet: On a Slow Boat from Shanghai to Texas, or Sailing to the Far Horizon by Pam Bitterman for a guide to the kind of travel narrative sought. After you do, please send your own stories of adventure, of falling in or out of love, of exploration or ex-patriation, or danger or senseless self-indulgence. . .send stories of personal growth, stories of lesbian heart and spirit and, oh yeah, travel.

Women’s Wonderlands will offer a small honorarium to individual contributors, probably $50 USD. Many of the contributors to the first Wonderlands chose to donate their honorarium to support the work of Living Out, a long-standing gay/lesbian list from the U of Wisconsin Press.

Please send your submissions to womenswonderlands( at)gmail. com (replace (at) with @). There is no minimum page length, but please no more than 30 double-spaced pages. You may send work that has been published previously, as long as you retain the rights for republication (we can’t pay permissions fees).

Kendall aims to have a draft collection put together by the end of 2007, so please send her your work no later than Nov. 30th 2007.

A new study from the Williams Institute at UCLA (PDF link) has shown that the number of same-sex couples in the U.S. reporting themselves as “unmarried partners” quintupled between 1990 and 2006. The biggest increases were in socially conservative Southern and Mountain states, and states barring legal acceptance of same-sex couples. This seems odd—or highly masochistic—until one realizes that coming out played a big part, more so than migration in many cases. “General acceptance of lesbian and gay individuals and couples is likely a more recent phenomenon” in conservative regions, leading to the larger percentage increase of couples counted since 1990.

That’s heartening news for the state of our union and unions. As always, however, when a report like this comes out, I am left with more questions than answers. Read more »

Yesterday, Joe Tralongo of Gaywheels.com offered the first half of a guest post on family-friendly and gay-friendly haulin’ vehicles. Not everyone wants the same thing in a car, as was clear from comments on the post, but I hope these reviews will give you some sense of what’s on offer if you are in search of an SUV or minivan. Here are the rest of Joe’s picks (after the jump because of the large images): Read more »

Thanks to Gaywheels.com, “the Gay-Friendly Automotive Resource,” for today’s special guest post, first of a two-part series. Gaywheels’ Joe Tralongo has put together for Mombian a list of family-friendly—and gay-friendly—vehicles worth checking out if you’re in the market for a new ride for yourself and your clan.

Below are the first four of Joe’s picks for family haulers. Come back tomorrow for the next four. Read more »

(Originally published in Bay Windows, Family Week Supplement, July 26, 2007.)

R Family Vacations, profiled in the HBO documentary All Aboard: Rosie’s Family Cruise, caught some flak (but also some praise) earlier this year when they removed Bermuda from their July cruise. A group of protesters had threatened to meet the ship, and R Family felt that parents who did not want to expose their children to this should not have to do so. During the cruise, from which I write, the ship had to change itinerary again because of engine trouble, heading back to New York City a day early and spending less time on the scheduled private island. The vast majority of families on board seem to be taking it in stride. For many of us, the point of the week is to spend it with other LGBT families and friends, and the location is secondary. The ship is, above all, a safe space for our children, where having LGBT parents is the norm, where having parents of a different race is not uncommon, and where there are that many fewer reasons to fear bullying or harassment.

There is a sense of community here that non-LGBT cruises would find it hard to match, no matter where they went. Even those of us who live near other LGBT families revel in the sense of camaraderie and cooperation among so many. Passenger and former Massachusetts State Sen. Cheryl Jacques explains “There is a magic to the week. People have talked about how it takes a village to raise a child. Here’s the village. The village takes care of everyone’s kids.” Read more »

Same-sex couples residing in New Mexico may now legally marry in Massachusetts. The Massachusetts Department of Public Health and Registry of Vital Records and Statistics last Thursday issued “a corrective notice to all Massachusetts city and town clerks authorizing them to allow same-sex couples from New Mexico to apply for marriage licenses,” according to Gay and Lesbian Advocates and Defenders (GLAD). Massachusetts forbids out-of-state same-sex couples to marry in the Commonwealth if their home state explicitly bans same-sex marriage. New Mexico is now the second state, after Rhode Island, where this was found not to be the case.

Equality New Mexico has more, including this warning:

New Mexican couples who go to Massachusetts to marry should realize that the decision is not just a political gesture, but rather is about taking on all the responsibilities, legal obligations, joys, and wonder of being married. When couples who marry in Massachusetts come home, many of their marriages will be respected to varying degrees, but many married couples will also experience discrimination. Some but not all businesses, the state, and others may refuse to honor these lawful marriages, along with the federal government. Couples must be prepared to live with a level of uncertainty while we continue our work to end marriage discrimination.

They also recommend you call the GLAD InfoLine and read their marriage publications (in the process of being updated in light of this news) before making any sudden marital moves.

Still, if you won’t be deterred, flights from Albuquerque to Boston on Orbitz.comstart at $901. Stay for a few days (there’s a three-day waiting period on the license) and enjoy the mild summer weather, the Museum of Fine Arts, our smokin’ (figuratively) Red Sox, or the renovated Children’s Museum. If you hurry, you can even make it for Family Week in P’Town.

Fairy-tale theme night today brought out all the princesses on board. Oh, and the little girls in pink dresses, too. The nice thing, however, is there was no sense of obligation to take part. Some parents brought old Halloween costumes for their kids (or themselves); others made do with appropriate pajamas, and others (like us) opted for the giveaway crowns and wands. Some stayed away entirely, either because their kids were too young, too old, or just not interested. The ship is big enough that it’s easy to do your own thing without feeling like you’re an outcast. Conversely, there are enough people on board to make it quite likely you’ll find other families with common interests.

Not that things are perfect, however. Aside from a change in itinerary because of engine problems, Norwegian Cruise Lines could be more efficient about a few matters. It was ridiculous to have to get beach towels and water from Deck Seven when the tenders were departing from Deck Four. I’ve been on other cruises, and they’ve had towels and water right there near the tender hatches. Especially for those traveling with small children, this was an unneeded complication. They also do not have trays in the cafeteria, making it difficult for those of us with one child, much less two or more, to wrangle food for everyone in one pass. Looking at the R Family side of things, it would have been nice if they gave us an advance schedule of at least the headline acts, even if details of smaller activities were left for the daily updates.

Overall, though, things have run pretty smoothly, given the diversity of ages and interests and needs. We have about 24 hours of fun time remaining before we have to pack up and start thinking about our return to the real world. I intend to make the most of it.