Weekend Reading: Reaching Across the Lines

Two stories caught my eye today that show the value of making personal connections, even when the barriers between people seem insurmountable. They make a good pair of pieces for weekend reading.

One is Steven Goldstein’s piece at Blue Jersey, which I mentioned in my Political Roundup this week. Steven is the chair of Garden State Equality, which is now on the front lines of the marriage equality battle. He tells us not of an organizational initiative, however, but a very personal conversation with a member of the Hasidim, the ultra-orthodox Jewish community. They were protesting GSE’s rally and lobby day for marriage equality—but the conversation is not what you’d expect.

The other piece is by actor and lesbian mom Cynthia Nixon at HuffPo. She writes of lobbying New York State Senator Ruth Hassell-Thompson, who told her that she was going to vote “no” on marriage equality because of her deep religious belief that marriage should be between a man and a woman. Nixon writes that Hassell-Thompson nevertheless considered not only the opinions of the many constituents who contacted her, but also several very personal matters. In the end, Hassell-Thompson voted yes. I won’t spoil Nixon’s narrative by giving too many details here, but you should go read.

Lesbian Mom New Bishop of Stockholm

The Church of Sweden consecrated its first openly gay bishop Sunday, making lesbian mom Eva Brunne Bishop of Stockholm. According to Agence France-Presse (via the Advocate), Brunne is in a civil partnership with a woman, and they have a three-year-old child.

By pure coincidence, Helen and I spent Sunday assembling IKEA furniture for our son’s room (new desk and shelves), and then celebrated with several slices of their Tårta Mörk Choklad (with which I have developed a slight obsession). I feel some cosmic connection even though I am neither Swedish nor Lutheran.

LGBT Parenting Roundup

Personal Stories

• ABC News looks back at the history of the “gayby boom,” and how things have changed (and not) over the past 20 years. It’s a rather good mainstream article, with many quotes from teen and adult children of same-sex parents.
• Ten-year-old Sophie Brescia offers Bay Windows her perspective on having two moms and being one of two children the family adopted from China. It’s a must-read, and one to share with your kids if they are of similar age. Read the rest of this post »

An Unlikely Friendship

Last week, I pointed out a moving post from Blogging for LGBT Families Day written by Haley Montgomery, a conservative evangelical Christian who was struggling to work through the issue of marriage equality, trying to reconcile her beliefs with the stories of loving LGBT families she was reading online.

This week, I want to highlight another contributed post, this time from the blog May the Beauty. The author describes herself as “a 6 feet tall, spirited, wordy, loving, coffee serving, cheese-ball. Also known as a Mother, Wife, Partner, Daughter, Sister, Aunt, Cousin, Lesbian, Friend, Neighbor and Christian.”

In her post, she describes a close friend who nevertheless voted Yes on Prop 8. She, like Haley, tries to navigate the often complex intersection of belief, friendship, and family: Read the rest of this post »

This Is How Change Is Made: A Story from Blogging for LGBT Families Day

Of all the posts submitted to Blogging for LGBT Families Day, the one that has made the greatest impression on me is: “The One Where I Come Out… And Say It,” by Haley Montgomery, aka eyeJunkie. Haley describes herself as “a politically conservative, white, heterosexual, middle class evangelical Christian from Mississippi. And, I’m probably pretty close to who you think I am when I write those words.”

In her post, she makes the surprising admission of being a regular reader of LesbianDad, a blog likely familiar to many of you. For those who don’t know Polly and her wonderful blog, Haley’s description is actually pretty accurate: “one of those crazy, liberal Californians, Berkeley graduate, feminist, Buddhist, lesbian activist. She’s also a ‘Baba’ of two children and an excellent writer and photographer. She and her wife have one of the 18,000 marriages that were upheld by the California Supreme Court last week when it also upheld Proposition 8.”

Haley observes that her reading of Polly’s blog “is likely to ilicit [sic] the same ‘duh’ response of outrage from both the LGBT and conservative reader-types, but I’m sitting squarely on the (barbed wire) fence on this whole gay marriage issue.” Read the rest of this post »

Weekly Political Roundup

The California Supreme Court has announced they will make the Prop 8 ruling this coming Tuesday, May 26. HRC Backstory has a good analogy about the legal issues under consideration.

• Secretary of State Hillary Clinton has promised equal benefits to same-sex partners of U.S. diplomatic corps employees stationed overseas, according to Congressman Howard Berman (D-CA), head of the House Foreign Affairs Committee. The Advocate has obtained a draft letter from Sec. Clinton to the same effect.
• The Obama administration accepted an appeals-court ruling that said officials could argue the merits in an individual case of an Air Force officer being dismissed under Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell. The case will therefore return to the district court.
• Meanwhile, the Air Force dismissed Lt. Col. Victor J. Fehrenbach, a decorated combat aviator who had been handpicked to fly sorties above Washington, D.C. after the World Trade Center was attacked on September 11, 2001. Catch him on Rachel Maddow.
• Judy Shepard, mother of Matthew Shepard, met with President Obama to discuss the Hate Crimes Act, aka the Matthew Shepard Act. Obama assured her he still supported it.
• Mainline Protestant clergy are increasingly supportive of expanded rights for gay men and lesbians, according to a new report from Public Religion Research. Read the rest of this post »

Cambridge Welcoming Ministries honors a “Reconciling Saint”

(Originally published in Bay Windows, April 16, 2009. I wrote it as coverage for a local event, but I think it has broad interest, especially in light of a recent ruling by the Judicial Council, the highest court of the United Methodist Church, which said clergy may not officiate at marriages of same-sex couples, even in states where the marriages are legal.

For the record, I’m not Methodist myself, nor even particularly religious, but I feel it is important to recognize that there is no necessary divide between the LGBT community and communities of faith, and the two may even overlap.)

“The church was divided because people felt that it was right to discriminate against people because of their race,” says retired United Methodist Bishop Melvin G. Talbert. “That changed over the years. I think just as race was a civil rights issue, [LGBT rights are] a civil rights issue in the church, and someday we will get to the point of saying how foolish it is for us to keep fighting over this issue.”

Cambridge Welcoming Ministries (CWM), a United Methodist community that openly includes and supports the LGBT community, has named Talbert their 2009 “Reconciling Saint,” an honor he will receive on April 19.

“Our reconciling saint embodies the qualities of a faithful believer who’s passionate, courageous, caring, audacious, and dedicated to a vision of a fully inclusive church,” said Pastor Tiffany Steinwert. “Bishop Talbert is someone whose entire life and ministry has been dedicated to ensuring both the full participation and the equal rights of people on the margins, and in many different ways. Bishop Talbert was a tireless advocate for civil rights, and it was a natural leap for him to also work for the LGBT community in doing that.” Read the rest of this post »

The Connecticut Catholic Conference’s Misplaced Advocacy

Saturday’s Hartford Courant reports:

Concerned that the state’s new same-sex marriage law would infringe on religious liberties, the Connecticut Catholic Conference today proposed some broad exemptions which it believes are necessary to protect those rights.

The law does not require Catholic priests—or any other clergy member—to preside over same-sex weddings.

However, the church is seeking additional exemptions. For instance, it wants to ensure that a florist opposed to gay marriage on religious grounds not be forced to sell flowers to a same-sex couple.

As my brother (who is straight but has a sense of humor) said to me, though, “Does anyone really believe that there are any florists who are opposed to gay marriage?”

(H/T, David Hart at Pam’s.)

Gay Bishop to Speak at Inauguration Event

This just in: Not exactly parenting news, but at the heart of LGBT news this week, comes the announcement that openly gay Episcopal Bishop Gene Robinson will give a prayer at one of President-elect Barack Obama’s first inauguration events at the Lincoln Memorial on January 20.

The Concord Monitor reports:

Obama and Vice President-elect Joe Biden will be there, and Obama is expected to speak, Robinson said. The event will be open to the public and run on HBO. Robinson doesn’t yet know what he’ll say, but he knows he won’t use a Bible.

“While that is a holy and sacred text to me, it is not for many Americans,” Robinson said. “I will be careful not to be especially Christian in my prayer. This is a prayer for the whole nation.”

That is perhaps the most sensible statement I’ve heard yet about all this Inauguration. I’ve always been leery of the prayers and other religious trappings still used by our government, feeling they cross the line that should separate church from state. At least Robinson seems to recognize the variety of beliefs in our nation.

As for Obama: Yes, he screwed up. Warren has a record of bigotry and should not have been invited to give the invocation. The realist in me understands, though, that once the invitation was out there, it would have been extremely hard to withdraw, without alienating the evangelicals whose support Obama needs for his broad agenda.

Inviting Robinson to give a prayer at the Lincoln Memorial is not, perhaps, the ideal solution. I still think a variety of religious figures and secular philosophers giving the invocation would be best). It is nonetheless an important acknowledgment by President-elect Obama that he made a mistake and is attempting to make amends. More than that, it is a recognition of the power of the LGBT community to make change. President-elect Obama isn’t perfect, but he’s learning. I still have hope.

LGBT Parenting Roundup

Lest you think I’ve become entirely obsessed with the Olympics (almost, but not quite), here’s a roundup of what’s happening in LGBT parenting news:

• The California Supreme Court ruled today that a group of doctors cannot use their religion as a legal excuse for denying a lesbian patient infertility treatment. Lambda Legal reports, “In a unanimous decision, the justices ruled that Guadalupe ‘Lupita’ Benitez was entitled to be treated like other patients with her same health problem, and that constitutional protections for religious liberty do not excuse unlawful discrimination.”
• Conservative activists gathered outside a California high school to rally support for Proposition 8, which would ban marriage of same-sex couples. They are apparently upset that the state’s Teachers Association donated $250,000 to fight the ban.
• Canada.com has a good interview with the mother of a trans son, in which she says, “I haven’t lost a daughter. I have gained a confident, strong level-headed son of whom I am immensely proud.” The article also mentions Families In TRANSition: A Resource Guide for Parents of Trans Youth (PDF link), which seems similar in spirit to The Transgender Child: A Handbook for Families and Professionals, which I reviewed last month, albeit with a Canadian bent.
• The U.K’s Guardian looks at some of the different approaches to transgender children who want to transition. Read the rest of this post »