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10 Things TO Say to Lesbian Moms

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It may not quite be an Internet meme, but several writers in the past month have offered their thoughts on what not to say to lesbian moms. Judy Gold at HuffPo gives a personal story about “The Question You Should Never Ask a Lesbian Mom”; Jeanne Sager at The Stir lists “5 Things Never to Say to Lesbian Moms”; and L. A. Pintea at Parents.com relates “10 Things You Shouldn’t Ask a Lesbian Mom.” It’s enough to make people think they should never approach us. I’d like to turn things around here, and suggest several things you should say to lesbian moms.

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Happy 92nd Birthday to PFLAG’s Jeanne Manford

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Forty years ago, Jeanne Manford wrote to the New York Post, angry that city police had done nothing to prevent her son Morty from being assaulted during a gay rights march. “My son is a homosexual, and I love him,” she asserted—after which her son told her, “No mother has ever announced to the world her son is gay.” The next year, at the urging of members of the gay and lesbian community, she founded the organization that would become PFLAG (Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays). Manford turned 92 today. PFLAG is encouraging people to send her their best wishes.

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Five Do’s, Five Don’ts for Interacting with LGBT Parents

(Originally published as my Mombian newspaper column.) ABC News’ “What Would You Do?” series recently set up several actors in a local café near Dallas, Texas, to test patrons’ responses to harassment of same-sex parents and their children. An actor playing a homophobic waitress harangued the parents (first two moms, then two dads) about how […]

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What Loving Is All About

Today is Loving Day, a commemoration of the Loving vs. Virginia U.S. Supreme Court decision that legalized interracial marriage, and a day that “fights racial prejudice through education and builds multicultural community.” TIME has a good article with more on the case and its impact, and notes we now have a president who is himself […]

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In Memoriam: Brendan Burke

Last November, I posted about Brian Burke, the gruff president and general manager of the Toronto Maple Leafs, who very publicly supported his gay son Brendan, a hockey player for Miami University. Today I just learned of the sad news that Brendan was killed in a weather-related two-car accident in Indiana Friday afternoon. My deepest […]

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They Might Be Allies

I was thrilled to hear indie band They Might Be Giants performing the theme song for Rosie O’Donnell’s recent HBO special, A Family Is a Family Is a Family. Unfortunately, the song, “And Mom and Kid,” isn’t yet available online. I give you instead “Roy G. Biv,” from their generally awesome album Here Comes Science. […]

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Weekend Reading: Reaching Across the Lines

Two stories caught my eye today that show the value of making personal connections, even when the barriers between people seem insurmountable. They make a good pair of pieces for weekend reading. One is Steven Goldstein’s piece at Blue Jersey, which I mentioned in my Political Roundup this week. Steven is the chair of Garden […]

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New Blog on Gender and Pop Culture

A friend whom I’ve known since college has launched a new blog with her husband, in which they offer their perspectives on gender and popular culture. They’ve only been at the blog, The Two Body Solution, for a short time, but they’re both English professors and have been writing about this sort of thing in […]

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LGBT Parenting Roundup

Politics and Law Amicus briefs are coming in to Florida’s third district court of appeal from LGBT and other civil-rights groups, in support of a circuit court decision that allowed a gay couple to adopt two brothers, effectively overturning the state’s ban on adoption by same-sex couples. Despite new legislation in Victoria, Australia, to allow […]

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An Unlikely Friendship

Last week, I pointed out a moving post from Blogging for LGBT Families Day written by Haley Montgomery, a conservative evangelical Christian who was struggling to work through the issue of marriage equality, trying to reconcile her beliefs with the stories of loving LGBT families she was reading online. This week, I want to highlight […]

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This Is How Change Is Made: A Story from Blogging for LGBT Families Day

Of all the posts submitted to Blogging for LGBT Families Day, the one that has made the greatest impression on me is: “The One Where I Come Out… And Say It,” by Haley Montgomery, aka eyeJunkie. Haley describes herself as “a politically conservative, white, heterosexual, middle class evangelical Christian from Mississippi. And, I’m probably pretty […]

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Blogging for LGBT Families Day: Thank You!

I am once again dazzled by the range of contributions to Blogging for LGBT Families Day. We heard from LGBT parents across the gender spectrum, children of LGBT parents, other LGBT people, and allies. There were a number of posts in Spanish. There were old timers, who have contributed to all four years of this […]

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An Ally’s Response

After I published my story on the 20th anniversary of the Gay-Straight Alliance at Phillips Academy Andover, I received this letter from alumna and writer Robin Chotzinoff, who now lives in Texas. She shares not only her reaction to how times have changed, but also what her 11-year-old daughter is doing to support LGBT rights. […]

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Julianne Moore Gets LGBT Families

Actor and mom Julianne Moore just did a video interview with the Advocate to promote her Valentine’s Day project with Save the Children, selling cards designed by top children’s illustrators to raise money for fighting poverty in America. Along the way, she talks about engaging children in social change, how LGBT families in particular have […]

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Teaching All Teens About LGBT Issues

I wrote this a few months ago (with slight modification) for Vanessa Van Petten’s Teens Today blog. She had asked me to share some resources for her audience of mostly straight parents who want to talk with their teenagers, LGBT and not, about LGBT issues. I realize most of my readers at Mombian are more […]

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A Few for the Children

Here are a few recent items of interest for children of LGBT parents, and one (mostly) for children of non-LGBT parents: The 2002 film Our House: A Very Real Documentary About Kids of Gay & Lesbian Parents has been re-released on DVD. I haven’t seen it myself, but Abigail Garner recommends it, and that’s good […]

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It’s the Little Things

Having preschool teachers who make sure your son brings home two handmade flowerpots for Mother’s Day? Priceless.

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Melissa Etheridge on Motherhood

Somebody bring me some water . . . in a sippy cup.* MomLogic (part of the AOL Living network) just published the article “Melissa Etheridge: Superstar Mama.” The lesbian icon talks about having twins, explaining her cancer to her children, celebrating Mother’s Day, celebrity babies, the most important lesson to teach your children, and her […]

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Loving Tribute

Mildred Loving, a black woman whose marriage to a white man led to the seminal U.S. Supreme Court that overturned Virginia’s ban on interracial marriage, died today at age 68. NPR has a good interview with her from last year, on the 40th anniversary of the Court’s case. Pam at the Blend observes that Loving […]

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Teaching Teens About LGBT Issues

I just did a guest post for Teens Today with Vanessa Van Petten, a site for parents of teenagers. Van Petten, 22, wrote You’re Grounded!: How to Stop Fighting and Make the Teenage Years Easier while she was still in high school, basing it on dozens of interviews with teens, parents, and teachers. She continues […]

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Words from Mrs. King

I posted this quote from Coretta Scott King, wife of Martin Luther King, Jr., last year at this time, but I think it bears repeating. Mrs. King was speaking at Lambda Legal’s 25th Anniversary Luncheon in 1998: As Martin once said, ‘We are all tied together in a single garment of destiny… an inescapable network […]

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And Now a Word from Our Allies

Tonight begins the first of Seven Straight Nights for Civil Rights, a coordinated campaign of overnight vigils led by straight allies across the nation who will “come out” as supporters of equal rights for LGBT Americans. Atticus Circle and Soulforce are organizing the events, important opportunities to show that support for LGBT rights extends beyond […]

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Add LGBT Voices to New Parenting Encyclopedia Babblepedia

Parenting megasite Babble has just launched Babblepedia, a Wikipedia-like “Encyclopedia of Parenting Knowledge” that “anyone can edit.” It’s a great idea, though the usual cautions apply about doing your own thorough research before believing anything you read online. Here’s the action item: Go contribute to Babblepedia to make sure LGBT families are well represented. Many […]

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Honoring Loving v. Virginia

Today marks the 40th anniversary of Loving v. Virginia, the historic U.S. Supreme Court decision that struck down the remaining interracial marriage bans in 16 states in the U.S. I needn’t belabor the parallel between the struggle to end interracial-marriage bans and our current fight to legalize same-sex marriage—most readers here know it all too […]

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Evaluating Schools: Levels of Inclusion

I’ve been evaluating preschools for my son over the past few weeks. As part of my discussions with teachers and administrators, I always mention that we’re a two-mom family, and ask “Is this going to be a problem for anyone here?” I don’t expect anyone would ever come right out and say “yes”—we’re in a […]

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