Prop 8 and Playdates

(I wrote this for my Mombian newspaper column back in January, but since both sides in the Prop 8 trial have recently filed their final briefs and Judge Vaughn Walker may soon schedule closing arguments, I thought it was worth posting here now. )

I agree with Robin Wirthlin.

The Massachusetts Mormon mother and I might not seem to have a lot in common. She and her husband were featured in a 2008 video for California’s “Yes On 8” campaign in which she explains that she was shocked when her son told her his second-grade class had read the picture book King & King, about a prince who marries another prince.

She was so shocked, in fact, that she and her husband sued the school district, saying that the school’s attempt to “indoctrinate” their children violated their constitutional rights as parents. They did not win their case, despite an appeal to the U.S. Supreme Court (which the court refused to hear).

Still, they did not hesitate to make a video for Yes On 8 (used later by Stand for Marriage Maine) in which they say that their second-grader was too young “to learn about homosexuality.”

I’ve been thinking of the video because the defense in the Perry v. Schwarzenegger Prop 8 trial played it for the court last week. They were attempting to get Yale professor George Chauncey to admit that parents should be able to exempt their children from learning in school about same-sex marriage. Chauncey, to his credit, stated that married same-sex couples are a fact of life in Massachusetts. If parents don’t want their kids to hear about that in public school, he said, they should put them in private school.

How, then, could I possibly agree with Robin Wirthlin? Read the rest of this post »

This Is What Happens When Kids Learn About Same-Sex Marriage

Confused? Traumatized? Not a bit.

[Update: It seems the video's owner has made it private. I'm not going to try and find another copy; if he wants privacy, I'll respect that.]

(Via Truth Wins Out.)

LGBT Parenting Roundup

Schools and Youth

• The ACLU and and Mississippi Safe Schools Coalition are advocating on behalf of a Mississippi high school student who wants to go to the prom with her girlfriend. School officials have said she may not arrive with her girlfriend or wear a tux, and must leave if other students become “uncomfortable.”
• A Catholic preschool in Boulder, Colorado has told a lesbian couple their child cannot return to the school next year because their sexual orientation is against Catholic teaching and school policy.
• The Washington State senate passed an LGBT-inclusive anti-bullying bill. It now goes to Gov. Christine Gregoire, who has said she will sign it. Read the rest of this post »

Can Same-Sex Parents Get a Break on College Financial Aid?

Same-sex parents are used to the routine of crossing out “Mother” or “Father” on various forms and writing in whatever applies to our family. What happens, however, when this is asked on the Free Application for Federal Student Aid (FAFSA) form, used by most colleges and universities to determine a student’s contribution towards the cost of his/her education? Can we fill in the form literally and thus not count one parent’s earnings (meaning potentially more aid)?

That’s the question my spouse Helen asked over at her blog. I’ll let you pop over there for her thoughts on the subject.

Engaged (Legally or Not?) Here’s a Survey

Passing along this request for volunteers to participate in an academic study of same- and opposite-sex engaged couples. I am not affiliated with the project; please contact the researcher if you have questions. (I do think it is important to have LGBT voices in broad research like this, though.)

Engaged volunteers needed!

I am looking for volunteers for a study of attitudes towards marriage and parenthood among engaged couples. The study consists of a 25-30 minute online survey. To qualify for the study, you must be 20-35 years old, live in the U.S., and plan to marry or have a commitment ceremony within the next 365 days. You and your romantic partner must not have children, and this must be the first marriage for both of you. Read the rest of this post »

Wanted: Your Experience with Paid or Unpaid Parental Leave

I’m passing along this request for your comments (and possible participation in an interview) about paid and unpaid parental leave. I’m not involved in the project, but I think it’s vital to have LGBT voices heard in studies like these.

Human Rights Watch, a nongovernmental human rights group, is interviewing parents (including LGBT parents) about their experiences with paid and unpaid maternity and paternity leave, and the impact on their families. The interviews will be used for a report (using pseudonyms, not actual names of interviewees) and, depending on the findings, for making recommendations on US law and policy.

Paid parental leave is considered a human right under several international treaties (not ratified by the US), and 177 countries now have laws guaranteeing paid parental leave. Only a few, including the United States, Papua New Guinea, Swaziland, and Australia, do not have national laws on paid parental leave. Australia is about to fall out of these ranks by offering 18 paid weeks starting in 2011.

In the United States, the national Family and Medical Leave Act requires only unpaid leave. Only two states (California and New Jersey) currently offer paid parental leave, and a handful of others offer temporary disability insurance to mothers after childbirth. States that do offer such paid leave generally fund their programs through small payroll deductions, minimizing the impact on any particular business.

For the most part, it is up to employers to decide whether to offer this benefit. Some people are fortunate to work for generous employers, but the majority of US workers do not have paid parental leave benefits. Read the rest of this post »

Good News In Pennsylvania Custody Ruling

Too good to wait for the next roundup: The Pennsylvania state Superior Court overturned a 25-year-old precedent that said in custody cases involving former opposite-sex couples, where one person is now in a same-sex relationship, the burden is placed on the LGB parent to prove that the same-sex relationship will have no adverse effect on the child.

In the current case, Dauphin County Senior Judge Joseph F. Kleinfelter had ignored the recommendation of a neutral social worker who proposed either a shared custody arrangement or primary custody going to the mother. Judge Kleinfelter, however, awarded primary custody to the father because the mother  was now involved with another woman.

The Pittsburgh Post-Gazette reports his original bias:

He concluded that “when weighing [daughter's] best interests between the two households, we believe those interests are better served by placing her in a traditional heterosexual environment.”

Judge Kleinfelter said he awarded primary custody to the father based on his personal experience as a judge, parent, grandparent and foster parent.

The Superior Court, reports the Post-Gazette, found he, “abused his discretion by both ignoring the recommendations of the social worker and by basing his decision on his personal opinion.” (Remind me again why anti-LGBT people always criticize pro-LGBT people for having “activist judges”?) The Superior Court awarded shared custody to both parents.

(Thanks, Sue!)

LGBT Parenting Roundup

Politics and Law

• A Vermont family court judge issued a warrant for the arrest of Lisa Miller, an “ex-lesbian” who disappeared with the girl who is legally the child of her and her former civil union partner, Janet Jenkins.
• A bit of good news to follow up on a case I posted about last June, when a California Court of Appeal denied the appeal of Kristina S., a biological, “ex-lesbian” mom (are you sensing a pattern here?) who has been trying since 2004 to prevent her former partner Charisma R. from being declared a legal parent to the child they planned and began to raise together. Now, the U.S. Supreme Court has refused to hear the case. Charisma was represented by the National Center for Lesbian Rights; Kristina by the conservative Liberty Counsel. Nancy Polikoff explains that while the SCOTUS refusal sets no precedent, the California opinion in the case helps “protect a person designated as a parent under state law” and the SCOTUS denial “can’t help but add the tiniest bit of ‘oomph’ to any citation of the case in other states.”
• The Arizona House advanced a bill to give preference in adoption cases to legally married couples. The Arizona Republic reports, “Unmarried adults could still be considered for adoption when they are related to or already have a relationship with the child, or if there is not a married couple available. The best interests of the child would remain the determining factor in choosing adoptive parents.” That’s all well and good, but still . . . . Equality Arizona has launched an online petition through which Arizonans can contact their legislators and ask them to oppose the bill.
• Louisiana Attorney General Buddy Caldwell “almost certainly” will appeal last week’s federal appeals court ruling that ordered the state to issue an amended birth certificate listing two gay New York men as parents of a child born in Shreveport whom they adopted.

Entertainment

• The cast of Glee, which includes out actor Jane Lynch as well as several gay characters, has been invited to perform at the White House Egg Roll in April. Last year, the Obama administration reached out directly to LGBT families, encouraging them to attend the Egg Roll. Nice, but what about equality under the law, as I’ve said before (and as Dorothy Snarker rightly points out again)?
• Not exactly parenting news, but because those of us with children of a certain age are likely to have video games in the house—and sometimes play them ourselves—it’s worth noting that LesbianGamers.com has relaunched with a new look and all of the reviews, commentary, and other good stuff they’ve become known for.

Teaching Science to Kindergarteners

Children get turned off to science early, says Scientific American, saying, “Studies have found that children in kindergarten are already forming negative views about science that could cast a shadow across their entire educational careers. . . . Furthermore, even before first grade, fewer girls than boys say they like science.”

One solution, from educational psychology researchers at Purdue University, is to teach science in kindergarten by integrating it with language teaching. Bravo—that’s the kind of integrated instruction I’ve written about before. President Bush’s No Child Left Behind Act focused on reading and math to the detriment of other subjects, but there’s no reason one can’t learn to read and write by reading and writing about science, or history, or social studies. It really took a major university study to figure this out?

The article does, however, make the excellent point that: “The goal of science education at the earliest levels should be to encourage and refine children’s innate love of exploring the world around them and to help that enthusiastic behavior grow into true scientific literacy.”

I should add that I’m not one to value scientific education over that of history, literature, or the arts.  I’m a big believer in the full range of the liberal arts as the basis of an education. Since scientific literacy is a part of that, however, I’m all for it.

The article is worth a read if you’re an educator or have young children.

LGBT Parenting Roundup

Court Cases

• The Fifth Circuit Court of Appeals ruled today to uphold a lower-court ruling and demand the Louisiana Registrar of Vital Statistics respect a New York adoption by a same-sex couple of a Louisiana-born baby boy. Lambda Legal represented gay dads Oren Adar and Mickey Ray Smith in their quest to have Louisiana issue a new birth certificate identifying both of them as the boy’s parents, in part so Smith could add his son to his health insurance.
• Lambda Legal also argued in front of the the New York State Court of Appeals on behalf of a non-biological mother after a lower court denied her right to seek custody and visitation with, and provide financial support to the child she has parented with her former same-sex partner. (Yes, we’re still arguing this sort of thing in New York—a state that, marriage equality aside, is one of the most progressive in terms of LGBT rights. Sigh.)
• The Florida Department of Children & Families appealed the adoption of an infant relative by Vanessa Alenier, a lesbian from Hollywood, Florida. Last month a state circuit judge allowed the adoption, the third one that lower court judges have permitted to gay men and lesbians, despite state law banning them from adopting. Florida, unlike New York, has never had any pretense of being LGBT-friendly. (I’m talking government here, not Gay Days at Disney and Key West vacations.) Still, someday someone is going to wake up and realize that taking children away from loving, capable parents—and in many cases, the only parents they have ever known—is not in their best interests. Grrr. Read the rest of this post »