LGBT Parenting Roundup

Books and Media

• Since books form an important part of the parenting experience for many of us (and many of us were voracious readers before we became parents), go check out the Lambda Literary Foundation’s brand-new Web site, chock-full of goodness about books for adults and kids.
• Life & Style magazine’s latest cover headline asks, “Why Is Angelina Turning Shiloh Into a Boy?” Apparently it’s because Shiloh has a short haircut and a penchant for boy’s clothes. Yes, it’s a clueless article. It’s gets worse, though. The magazine also quotes an “expert” from arch-conservative group Focus on the Family on how this could harm the child. Dorothy Snarker takes them to task in her inimitable style, so I’ll refer you to her for the dressing-down they deserve.

Politics and Law

• Lake Worth, Florida city commissioners agreed to support a repeal of the state’s ban on adoption by gay men and lesbians, in a show of support for bills filed to repeal the law.
• Nancy Polikoff has further details on the long-running Janet Jenkins-Lisa Miller custody case. Not only did a Vermont family court issue a warrant for Miller’s arrest after she disappeared with their daughter, but a Virginia court denied Miller’s attempt to have Virginia refuse to enforce the orders from the Vermont court.
• Louisiana Attorney General Buddy Caldwell filed a motion requesting that the full Fifth Circuit Court of Appeals review a February 20 decision by a three-judge panel ordering the state Registrar of Vital Statistics to issue a birth certificate listing both adoptive dads of a boy born in Louisiana but adopted in New York. (Via Lambda Legal e-mail message. Not yet on their Web site.)
• Washington, D.C. wasn’t the only capitol to begin allowing same-sex couples to marry this week. Mexico City did as well, also giving same-sex couples the right to adopt.

Advice

• Lauren Forcella, who runs the syndicated “Straight Talk for Teens” column, takes on a question from a teen whose mother won’t let her go over to the house of a friend with two moms. Actually, Forcella’s panel of teen respondents tackle the question as well, and their comments give me hope for the next generation. (And just to alleviate any possible confusion, the “straight” in the title refers to directness, not sexual orientation.)

“Our Big Gayborhood” Opens Its Doors

Many of you know Lori Hahn from her blog Hahn at Home, where she writes about life as the single parent of teens. Because that clearly wasn’t enough to keep her busy, she has also joined with writer Margo Moon to launch Our Big Gayborhood, “an entertaining new site full of lively, powerful, snarky, reflective and just plain interesting articles spanning the entire spectrum of GLBT life.”

Lori also notes that the site is home to a brand new podcast of Margo’s The Starr Ann Chronicles, “a kinda’ modern day lesbian cowgirl thing” narrated by women’s music legend Tret Fure.

Yee-ha! Check it out.

Who You Callin’ No-Name Calling Week?

Today kicks off No-Name Calling Week, “an annual week of educational activities aimed at ending name-calling of all kinds and providing schools with the tools and inspiration to launch an on-going dialogue about ways to eliminate bullying in their communities.” The event is organized by the Gay, Lesbian, and Straight Education Network (GLSEN), in partnership with a whole host of LGBT, educational, youth, and social justice organizations (including, I’ll note, the Girl Scouts but not the Boy Scouts).

They have produced a series of lesson plans for different ages, along with a variety of other resources. Good stuff.

On a related note, this seems a good time to mention a separate initiative in the U.K. Leading LGBT group Stonewall has produced a feature film on homophobic bullying that it is sending to all secondary schools in Britain next month. The movie, FIT, is an adaption of a play the organization produced that has been seen by 20,000 pupils to date. The Times calls it “a kind of gritty take on the shiny E4 drama Glee.”

Without getting into heavy cinematographic comparisons between the two, I’ll say that it looks pretty good from the trailers, even if it doesn’t star Jane Lynch.

Will teachers actually show it? The Times asked the same question of the film’s writer and director, Rikki Beadle-Blair, who said they will be doing screenings for teachers so they can view the film, ask questions, and become more comfortable showing it in class.

It makes me wonder, though: What advantages does a fictional drama have over anti-bullying documentaries like the ones from Groundspark? What disadvantages? How do they complement each other? And most importantly, why can’t we do something like this in the U.S., even at a state level? (Aside from the fact that the right-wing goes apes**t every time someone mentions LGBT-inclusive diversity education.)

Trailer after the jump: Read the rest of this post »

A Supreme Day

The Supremes seem supremely appropriate today:

Sonia Sotomayor nominated to the U.S. Supreme Court: “Come See About Me.”

The question is, will the California Supreme Court ruling on Prop 8 have us playing, “Where Did Our Love Go” or “Back In My Arms Again”?

For another hour or so, however, “You Keep Me Hangin’ On.”

Events to Support Lesbian Rape Victim

Two men and two teenagers have been arrested in the December 13 gang rape of a California lesbian. Police are investigating the attack as a hate crime. According to several of the news sources reporting this, tips from local residents led to the arrests.

Word from folks I know in the local area, too (h/t Polly), is that the lesbian community has rallied to help the victim. Blogger Tata has put together a page in support of the woman, and notes there will be a rally in Richmond this Sunday, January 4 and a benefit in Oakland on January 9.

The Bay Area Reporter also notes:

Anyone with information about the Richmond case is asked to call Detective Ysenia Rogers at (510) 672-1718. A fund has been set up for the victim. To donate, send a check made payable to Community Violence Solutions to: Community Violence Solutions, Attn: JoAnn Douglas, 2101 Van Ness Street, San Pablo, CA 94806. Write “Richmond Jane Doe” in the memo line. Additionally, people who are bilingual and willing to help with door-to-door canvassing efforts can e-mail 007aileen@gmail.com for information to help with that effort.

Happy Veterans Day

I’m married to a veteran. Several of my friends and relatives are veterans. Some have served in Iraq and Afghanistan, and may yet be redeployed.

Thank you to all the veterans for everything they have done to serve our country. Because this is a parenting blog, a special thank you to all the parents serving or who have served, and the parents whose children serve or served. Because this is an LGBT blog, thank you to all the LGBT veterans serving in silence, and to those who are both parents and LGBT.

Let us both honor their service and work for peace.

A Lesbian Mom Presidential Candidate?

Tired of the election already? Dissatisfied with rhetoric from both parties? Well, there’s a new candidate on the trail, and she appears to be a lesbian mom:

Senator Julia Polonia Foley DeWiki (affectionately known as Mop), born February 29th 1964 is an independent candidate in the election for the US presidency which will be decided by a national vote in 2008. She hails from the great state of Rhode Island where she lives with her 9 children, along with her roommate Talia Jessica Rhonda Falkus, and their 5 dogs, 3 cats, 8 rabbits, 2 guinea pigs and numerous goldfish. . . . Her roommate assists with childcare.

We all know what “roommate” is a euphemism for, right? Read the rest of this post »

Coming Out as LGBT Grandparents

With increasing coverage of LGBT parents in the media today, it is surprising LGBT grandparents are still largely invisible. I suspect this has much to do with the frequent media focus on lesbian couples with cute little tots or funny stories about finding sperm, or, for occasional variety, gay men searching for surrogates. The idea that LGBT people have been having kids long enough to become grandparents is foreign to most people, as is the concept of anyone coming out after having kids.

Alice Fisher and Michael Connolly of the Stonewall Communities Lifelong Learning Institute, the first LGBT LLI in the world, hope to change that. They ran a course in 2007 for LGBT grandparents, and wrote up their experiences for this month’s The Older LEARNer, a publication of the American Society on Aging. They discuss the changing role of grandparents in today’s society as well as particular issues for LGBT grandparents. One positive excerpt:

For the most part, we have not found the issue of how and when to come out to grandchildren to be a big issue for the youngest generation. We are open and low-key. . . . Grandchildren help choose—or invent—terms of endearment for the nonbiological grandparent. Can grandchildren keep track of five or seven grandparents? Yes, we found. Better than we can.

It’s a good article on a topic that deserves more recognition. I’ll be bringing you more voices of LGBT grandparents, in cooperation with Stonewall Communities, in the coming weeks. Stay tuned.

Some/thing Blue

For my third contribution to Robin Reagler’s blog carnival, here’s Some/thing Blue: the Web site of Donor Home Delivery.

A reader wrote to ask if I knew anything about this company. The Web site says it helps couples with distant known donors ship sperm safely from one place to another, ensconced in a “test yolk buffer” on a “cold pack.” Now, the best way I know to ship sperm is in a cryo tank, not on a “cold pack,” but I’m not an expert. Does anyone have experience with this company, good or bad, that you’d be willing to share in the comments? Maybe I’m just suspicious after the e-mail scam going around. I have no specific reason to believe this company is a scam, but I have no way to know if the transportation method they use is at all effective. (They are upfront in admitting that they do no screening of the sperm, something recommended for all couples using donors.)

Some/thing New

For my second contribution to Robin Reagler’s blog carnival, here’s Some/thing New:

Israel announced Sunday that same-sex couples will now have the same adoption rights as opposite-sex couples. Previously, they could only adopt if one partner was the child’s biological parent. Mazal tov!