A 2009 Review of LGBTQ Family Books

(Originally published in Bay Windows, December 10, 2009. I’ve covered a few of the books below in separate columns, but several of them are new—and good. Enjoy!)

There are still relatively few books for and about LGBTQ families, but 2009 gave us as good and diverse a crop as I’ve seen in a long time. Here are some highlights: Read the rest of this post »

Gay and Lesbian History for Teens

(Originally published as my Mombian newspaper column, October 2009.)

October is, among other things, LGBT History Month, which makes it the perfect time to write about Gay America: Struggle for Equality (Amulet: 2008), by Linas Alsenas. The book is a history of gay men and lesbians in the U.S. from the mid-nineteenth century through 2005. It fills a much needed gap, not because of the subject (there are a small but a growing number of LGBT-specific histories), but because of its audience: teens.

LGBT histories for that age group have been sorely lacking, consisting mostly of Becoming Visible: A Reader in Gay and Lesbian History for High School and College Students (Alyson: 1994), by Kevin Jennings. (Yes, the same Jennings who is now heading up the U.S. Department of Education’s Office of Safe and Drug-Free Schools). Jennings’ volume is useful, but is more a source book than a narrative like Gay America. Both are needed. Read the rest of this post »

NYT’s LGBT Family Blowout

The New York Times is chock full o’ LGBT family goodness this weekend:

Lisa Belkin’s “What’s Good for the Kids” looks at recent research showing that children of lesbian and gay parents tend to be more tolerant and less bound by gender stereotypes and assumptions. She relies heavily on a new book by Abbie Goldberg, Lesbian and Gay Parents and Their Children. (I have a column of my own coming out soon on Goldberg’s book, so I won’t go into details here, but I will point you to my interview of Goldberg from a couple of years ago.)

Belkin makes some good points, and her main one, that non-traditional families can actually be good for kids, is laudable. I have to take issue with one thing she says, however:

It is striking, then, how comparatively rarely children are mentioned as an argument in favor of gay marriage. The issue is framed as a debate over equality and justice, of personal freedom and the relation of church and state, not about what is good for kids.

First, I’ve seen a lot about how letting same-sex couples marry is good for our children, and about how not letting us do so hurts our kids.

Second, the ultra-right is always framing the debate about what is good for kids. (Several, if not all, of the sources I mention in the Maine section of my Weekly Political Roundup note this was a large reason we lost there. Ditto for Prop 8. )

If LGBT advocates have framed the issue instead as one of simple fairness and equality, that may be a matter of tactics, and isn’t necessarily a bad thing. As I’ve said before, I think Protect Maine Equality should be praised for focusing on fairness and equality, and not getting caught up in the back and forth of whether “gay marriage will be taught in schools,” one of the big issues that sank us in California.

Still, Belkin is correct in noting that the research on lesbian and gay parents, deftly compiled by Goldberg and others, shows not only that we are no worse than others, but may in fact be better preparing our children, gay or not, to live in a world where gender stereotypes are fading, straight husbands spend more time with kids, and wives take out the trash.

Will that convince people to support marriage equality, however, as Belkin suggests? My take? It won’t persuade the ultra-right, for whom the idea of blurred gender roles is as scary as that of same-sex couples getting married (and may in fact be the root cause of the latter). On the other side, those who see blurred gender roles as a good thing already tend to support marriage equality. For the undecided middle? Perhaps, although I am continually surprised at how entrenched gender roles are among the families in my neighborhood, even here in relatively liberal Massachusetts.

Still, the ultra-right has long owned the argument of “what is best for children.” If there is anything we can do to reclaim that argument from them in a compelling way for Middle America, then maybe Maine will be the last defeat of its kind.

Also of note in the NYT this weekend:

• “Can a Boy Wear a Skirt to School?” a good exploration of gender expression and identity. (The article even mentions Labels Are for Jars, whom I—and many of you—have long known around the queer-mom blogosphere.)
• “Field Guides to Fairies” is not in fact about identifying gay men, but rather a review of several new young adult books involving fairies, including Malinda Lo’s Ash, a lesbian retelling of Cinderella. (Here’s my interview with her about the book.) Many congratulations to her for making the NYT, which calls Ash “somber and lovely.”

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“She Got Me Pregnant”: Episode 89

Helen and I bring you up to date on Scholastic’s refusal to carry a book with lesbian moms at its book fairs. The company has now made a step in the right direction, but is it enough? We also discuss Preacher’s Sons, a great new documentary showing five years in the lives of two gay dads and the five sons they adopt from California’s foster care system. Plus: If you think lesbian parenting is funny, you don’t know enough about wombats.

(If the embedded video above doesn’t work for you, try it at Dailymotion.)

Brought to you in partnership with After Ellen.

Bunches of Updates

This seems a good point to take a look at some of the further coverage of the Scholastic saga and their request that author Lauren Myracle change the lesbian moms of one character into a mom and a dad. The company will now carry the book (with moms) in its middle school book fairs, though not its elementary school ones.

• Change.org, who led the charge against Scholastic with an online petition and several talks with Scholastic executives, brought us the good news that Scholastic changed its initial decision not to carry the book in any of its book fairs.
• School Library Journal, which first broke the story, also gave us an update after the company reversed its decision.
• Brett Berk, aka “The Gay Uncle,” interviewed Myracle for Momlogic. She told Berk:
  

  The whole point was to have a cast of main characters that reflect the diversity of today’s elementary schools. The moms’ lesbianism is incidental. It’s not a plot point or the source of some big lesson in the book. Just like there’s a half Asian girl, an African-American girl who lives just with her dad, and a Muslim girl who wears a headscarf, there’s a girl with two moms.

  Note: The main characters are in elementary school. As Berk said, “Anyone with even an iota of expertise in how kids work (like, perhaps, one of the biggest youth publishing and distribution companies in the world) knows that the last thing a 6th to 8th grader wants to be associated with is anything having to do with 5th grade. Duh!” Read the rest of this post »

“She Got Me Pregnant”: Episode 88

I’m vlogging solo this week since Helen is away on business, so I’ve kept it short and sweet. I talk about seeing “Harry Potter: The Exhibition” with our son and reading the first book with him. I also discuss Scholastic’s request that an author change the lesbian moms of a character into a mom and a dad, the reaction from around the Internet, and the company’s response. (Regular readers will know I’ve covered the Scholastic issue extensively on the blog here already; I wanted to get the word out to the vlog-only audience as well.)

(If the embedded video above doesn’t work for you, try it at Dailymotion.)

Brought to you in partnership with After Ellen.

Yet Another Scholastic Update – with Conan O’Brien

There’s always more to do. Reader Jersey Mom astutely pointed out in a comment (as did a reader over at Change.org) that Scholastic has only agreed to carry Lauren Myracle’s Luv Ya Bunches in their middle school Book Fairs, not their elementary school ones, even though the book is listed as appropriate for ages nine to twelve. Nine years old usually means fourth grade. Not only that, but the four protagonists of the book are in fifth grade. That’s elementary school, folks, in every school system I’ve ever known.

The fine folks at Change.org are going to speak with Scholastic and see what’s up. I’ll keep you posted on what they say, and what more we might do to help make the book available to all kids for whom it is appropriate.  My own sense is that Scholastic has made a move in the right direction, and we should acknowledge that—while at the same time letting them know that it is not enough. As all parents know, sometimes eliciting the proper behavior is done one step at a time, and a little praise along the way can help, even as we keep the pressure on.

On another, unexpected note, the story even caught the attention of Conan O’Brien. At about the 4:20 mark in yesterday’s Tonight Show, he talks about a book that was banned from book fairs because it had lesbian moms. He mentions neither Scholastic nor the title, but I think it’s clear he means Luv Ya Bunches. Watch it after the jump: Read the rest of this post »

Scholastic Reverses Decision: Will Include LGBT-Inclusive Book in Book Fairs

Many of you have been following the story of Scholastic and their request that author Lauren Myracle change the lesbian moms of one character into a mom and a dad. According to the original article on this by School Library Journal, Scholastic would not consider the book for its book fairs unless the change was made.

Over 4000 people—many of you—signed a petition at Change.org asking Scholastic to reconsider. The hard-working folks at Change.org, especially Michael Jones, editor of their Gay Rights blog, also worked behind the scenes with Scholastic, and now bring us some good news: Scholastic will now include the book in their spring book fairs.

Scholastic’s full statement is here. Equally important going forward, the company, which only received a 50 out of 100 on HRC’s Corporate Equality Index, is now on record as stating: “We are committed to a review process that considers all books equally regardless of their inclusion of LGBT characters and same sex parents.”

That’s a far cry from their response to SLJ’s first inquiries, when they said: “Authors are often given the opportunity to make changes in the books to meet the norms of the various communities that host the fairs.”

Did they change their minds, or was there an initial misunderstanding? You decide. Consider, though, that Myracle was kind enough to respond to an e-mail I sent her, before this latest news broke. She states:

I appreciate the support of Scholastic’s Book Club, which makes books available to kids through their catalog, and which is indeed offering Luv Ya Bunches to its readers. I have recently been informed that Scholastic Book Fair is considering Luv Ya Bunches for its spring school book fairs. That’s great. It’s so very important, I think, to reflect the wonderful diversity of our country and culture. I do, however, stand by what I told School Library Journal.

I am a member of the Amazon Associates program, and get a small referral fee from all purchases made at Amazon.com via links on this site. You are under no obligation to purchase through them.

King and King: The Live-Action Version

Most of you, I imagine, are familiar with the children’s book King and King. It’s been a favorite target of the right, most famously in a case in Lexington, Massachusetts.

Now, from gay dads and vloggers the Leffews and musician and activist Sean Chapin comes an adorable, homespun re-enactment of the tale. (Thanks, Good As You.) Enjoy!

I am a member of the Amazon Associates program, and get a small referral fee from all purchases made at Amazon.com via links on this site. You are under no obligation to purchase through them.

Update on Scholastic and Luv Ya Bunches

Wow. As I write this, over 1900 people have signed the online petition asking Scholastic to include Lauren Myracle’s new book Luv Ya Bunches in their school Book Fairs.

Scholastic has asserted that they are not censoring the book, but are carrying it in their Book Clubs. That is true, as the original School Library Journal article reported. SLJ also reported, however, “The company sent a letter to Myracle’s editor asking the author to omit certain words such as ‘geez,’ ‘crap,’ ’sucks,’ and ‘God’ (as in, ‘oh my God’) and to alter its plotline to include a heterosexual couple.”

Even if a separate person at Scholastic then made the decision not to carry Luv Ya Bunches in the book fairs, for unrelated reasons, it seems there is clearly some sentiment at the company that lesbian moms (even if they are not a focus of the story) are not appropriate for children’s books. That is enough to make me contact the company in disappointment. Read the rest of this post »