Happy Mother’s Day to all of you who call yourselves mothers. We may come by the title in different ways, but the one thing we all share is a love of our children.

I found it interesting that two lesbian-mom authors this week wrote of the difficulty of sharing Mother’s Day with another mother. Harlyn Aizley at the Beacon Broadside says: Read more »

Having preschool teachers who make sure your son brings home two handmade flowerpots for Mother’s Day?

Priceless.

Having a party? Doing a quiet gift exchange? Waiting to see what your kids will spring on you? Ignoring it altogether? How are you and your family celebrating this family holiday?

Helen and I are keeping it pretty casual (unless there’s something she’s not telling me), but as with most holidays at our house, there’s likely to be a cake involved. How about you?

It’s Earth Day. My son’s preschool had a series of related activities and discussions all last week, and he’s had the Earth on his mind.

After going through several pieces of toilet paper during a pit stop the other day, he held up the final one and asked “Mommy, if it’s clean, can I leave it on the counter for the next person?”

I explained about germs, but was impressed by his commitment to reducing consumption.

Please share some of the things you do to protect the environment and save energy. How do you teach your children to do so? Where do you compromise for convenience?

Last week, I urged readers to nominate their favorite LGBT moms for the title of “America’s Favorite Mom” in Teleflora’s Mother’s Day contest. I thought it would be a good opportunity for visibility.

Two days after my post, I received an e-mail from a publicist at Edelman, Teleflora’s PR agency. She thanked me for helping them to raise awareness about the program within the LGBT community. She then asked if I’d like to be kept apprised of any LGBT submissions to the contest, so I could urge readers to vote for them. I said yes.

In re-reading the contest rules, however, I noticed that each person can only submit the name of one nominee. Clearly, the organizers didn’t realize this would force children of partnered LGBT moms to choose between them (and could lead to shameless bribery on the part of said parents). I wrote back to inquire whether there might be an exception made here. Read more »

Here’s a chance for a bit of fun activism:

2008 is the 100th anniversary of Mother’s Day. In honor of the occasion, Teleflora is presenting “America’s Favorite Mom,” a weeklong contest airing on NBC in May. Finalists in five categories will appear on NBC’s Today Show the week before Mother’s Day, and in a prime-time special on the day itself, May 11th. There are also various cash and gift prizes for the winners. Read more »

No, not W., although I do think we need an explanation of how someone who can’t say “nuclear” correctly made it to the Oval Office. How do you explain the president to young children? We’ve been telling our preschooler “The president is the person the people in our country choose to help lead the country.” If we’re feeling expansive, we’ll add “He or she helps make sure everyone in the country is safe and has the things they need, like food, and roads, and good schools.” We say pretty much the same when we explain our town or state—it’s not like we’re trying to do a crash course in Civics 101 at this age. Between Helen and I discussing the campaign this year, however, and our son hearing about Washington and Lincoln in school, we do feel a bit of explanation is in order.

How do you explain the presidency (or any elected offices) to your children? Do books like Duck for President or Caldecott-winner So You Want to be President? help? How have your explanations changed as your kids have gotten older? When do you start introducing your own political viewpoints and the idea that a person can be both a legitimate official and yet someone you think is immoral (or just incompetent)?

In our vlog this week, Helen and I wonder if ABC’s Cashmere Mafia has not one, but two, lesbian pregnancies up its oh-so-fashionable (but thankfully turkey-baster-free) sleeve. We also discuss The L Word’s portrayal of an older daughter dealing with a mom’s coming out, the newly domestic Bette Porter, and scary foods from childhood. Finally, in honor of Valentine’s Day, we explore how becoming a parent changes romance, and make a desperate request to childfree friends.

Online Videos by Veoh.com

If the Veoh video above isn’t working (sometimes their server can be flaky), you can try it at Daily Motion, though the picture quality isn’t as good there.

(Brought to you in partnership with After Ellen.)

It’s Freedom to Marry Week, and I thought I’d mark the occasion by talking about why marriage matters to me.

Legal protections are part of the story, but only part. Civil unions and domestic partnerships can cover some (but not all) of the same rights and responsibilities. The greater reason for marriage, in my mind, is so that I can tell my son, “Yes, we’re married,” without any hesitancy or the thought that when he is older, I will have to explain why there’s an asterisk on that statement: “Void where prohibited.”

At four years old, he’s already asking what marriage means, having heard children and teachers discussing it at school. He once inquired whether his presence at his moms’ wedding meant he’s married to us, too. “You are part of our family because you’re our son,” I explained to him. “Marriage is one way grown-ups who aren’t related to each other can become part of the same family.” I didn’t want to get into explanations of other forms of relationship recognition, or the fact that Helen and I considered ourselves married long before we moved to Massachusetts and legalized it. There will be time enough for that as he grows older. School is already teaching him that marriage matters, regardless of the legislation and political games that swirl around it. His moms are married, in his eyes, and that gives him a certain sense of his family, a way to place it in context.

I dread having to teach him that once we cross the border of Massachusetts, our marriage becomes something other, something less than the concept he is learning about through friends and teachers. I know I will have to, for he will grow faster than our courts and legislators will act. All I can do is resolve to keep fighting so any period of doubt about his family’s validity, and about his own worth as a child of such a union, is kept to a minimum. I’d like him to grow up with a sense that even though there are small-minded people in the world, a sense of equality for all will ultimately prevail.

Why (or why not) does marriage matter to you?

I posted this quote from Coretta Scott King, wife of Martin Luther King, Jr., last year at this time, but I think it bears repeating. Mrs. King was speaking at Lambda Legal’s 25th Anniversary Luncheon in 1998:

As Martin once said, ‘We are all tied together in a single garment of destiny… an inescapable network of mutuality… I can never be what I ought to be until you are allowed to be what you ought to be.’

Therefore, I appeal to everyone who believes in Martin Luther King, Jr.’s dream to make room at the table of brother and sisterhood for lesbian and gay people. Gays and lesbians stood up for civil rights in Montgomery, Selma, in Albany, Georgia, and St. Augustine, Florida, and many other campaigns of the civil rights movement. Many of these courageous men and women were fighting for my freedom at a time when they could find few voices for their own, and I salute their contributions.

I’ll note that much the same could be said again today about the bi and trans communities with respect to the gay and lesbian communities. It’s a big table; there are lots of different dishes. Please pass the salt.