Crossing Barriers: “Mommies in Critical Care”

Here is the ninth in my series of quotes from Who’s Your Daddy? And Other Writings on Queer Parenting. I’ll be running them for a couple of weeks courtesy of the book’s editor, Rachel Epstein. I’m choosing the quotes I feel are most intriguing and thought provoking; I don’t always agree with the sentiments, but I hope they will spur some discussion in the comments and encourage you to seek out the book for yourselves.

For more on how to get this Canadian-published volume (and you should!), see my original post about it.

Today’s quote is from Diane Flacks’ “Mommies in Critical Care”: Read the rest of this post »

Family Racism

Here is the eighth in my series of quotes from Who’s Your Daddy? And Other Writings on Queer Parenting. I’ll be running them for a couple of weeks courtesy of the book’s editor, Rachel Epstein. I’m choosing the quotes I feel are most intriguing and thought provoking; I don’t always agree with the sentiments, but I hope they will spur some discussion in the comments and encourage you to seek out the book for yourselves.

For more on how to get this Canadian-published volume (and you should!), see my original post about it.

Today’s quote is from “Little White Children: Notes from a Chicana Dyke Dad,” by Karleen Pendleton Jiménez, who is stepmother to her white girlfriend’s two white children:

Five hundred years of Latin American mixed-race families, and three generations of my own, have proven the notion of family does not save us from racism. . . .

And hiding racism does not stop the hurt. However, the fear of speaking through such difficult issues should not hinder us from loving anyway. What love does not involve fear, or submission, giving over so thoroughly you would sacrifice your own life to save your child’s life, or your lover’s? What love does not rely upon the difference between two bodies as a source of hunger? What do we imagine that we lose in acknowledging the racism between parents and children, and between siblings of different colours?

“Infertile Homosexual Speaks!”

Here is the seventh in my series of quotes from Who’s Your Daddy? And Other Writings on Queer Parenting. I’ll be running them for a couple of weeks courtesy of the book’s editor, Rachel Epstein. I’m choosing the quotes I feel are most intriguing and thought provoking; I don’t always agree with the sentiments, but I hope they will spur some discussion in the comments and encourage you to seek out the book for yourselves.

For more on how to get this Canadian-published volume (and you should!), see my original post about it.

Today’s quote is from Shira Spector’s essay, “Red Rock Baby Candy: Infertile Homosexual Speaks!”: Read the rest of this post »

“I Am My Father’s Son”

Here is the sixth in my series of quotes from Who’s Your Daddy? And Other Writings on Queer Parenting. I’ll be running them for a couple of weeks courtesy of the book’s editor, Rachel Epstein. I’m choosing the quotes I feel are most intriguing and thought provoking; I don’t always agree with the sentiments, but I hope they will spur some discussion in the comments and encourage you to seek out the book for yourselves.

For more on how to get this Canadian-published volume (and you should!), see my original post about it.

I chose today’s quote in honor of the start of Transgender Awareness Week. It is from Jonathan Feakins’ essay, “I Am My Father’s Son”: Read the rest of this post »

“From Queer to Paternity”

Here is the fifth in my series of quotes from Who’s Your Daddy? And Other Writings on Queer Parenting. I’ll be running them for a couple of weeks courtesy of the book’s editor, Rachel Epstein. I’m choosing the quotes I feel are most intriguing and thought provoking; I don’t always agree with the sentiments, but I hope they will spur some discussion in the comments and encourage you to seek out the book for yourselves.

For more on how to get this Canadian-published volume (and you should!), see my original post about it.

Today’s quote is from Derek P. Scott, whose essay “From Queer to Paternity” (love that title!) discusses co-parenting with a bisexual woman and how fatherhood has changed his perceptions of community. Read the rest of this post »

Why We Need to Discuss LGBTQ Families in Elementary Schools

Here is the fourth in my series of quotes from Who’s Your Daddy? And Other Writings on Queer Parenting. I’ll be running them for a couple of weeks courtesy of the book’s editor, Rachel Epstein. I’m choosing the quotes I feel are most intriguing and thought provoking; I don’t always agree with the sentiments, but I hope they will spur some discussion in the comments and encourage you to seek out the book for yourselves.

For more on how to get this Canadian-published volume (and you should!), see my original post about it.

Today’s selection is from “Reading, Writing, and Resilience: Queer Spawn Speak Out about School,” by Rachel Epstein, Becky Idems, and Adinne Schwartz, based on a 2004 research project in which they interviewed over 30 young people with LGBTQ parents. Read the rest of this post »

“She Got Me Pregnant”: Episode 90

This week, Helen and I discuss two new must-read books about LGBTQ families. We also share a classic children’s drawing book we’ve been enjoying with our son, and the joys of used office supplies.

(If the embedded video above doesn’t work for you, try it at Dailymotion.)

Brought to you in partnership with After Ellen.

Queer Couples and Transracial Adoptions

Here is the third in my series of quotes from Who’s Your Daddy? And Other Writings on Queer Parenting. I’ll be running them for a couple of weeks courtesy of the book’s editor, Rachel Epstein. I’m choosing the quotes I feel are most intriguing and thought provoking; I don’t always agree with the sentiments, but I hope they will spur some discussion in the comments and encourage you to seek out the book for yourselves.

For more on how to get this Canadian-published volume (and you should!), see my original post about it.

Today’s quote is from Tobi Hill-Meyer, a genderqueer, trans dyke, colonized meztiza, transracially inseminated queerspawn, who serves as a board member of COLAGE and blogs at Bilerico. Read the rest of this post »

Who’s Your Daddy?

As promised, here is another in my series of quotes from Who’s Your Daddy? And Other Writings on Queer Parenting. I’ll be running them for a couple of weeks courtesy of the book’s editor, Rachel Epstein. I’m choosing the quotes I feel are most intriguing and thought provoking; I don’t always agree with the sentiments, but I hope they will spur some discussion in the comments and encourage you to seek out the book for yourselves.

For more on how to get this Canadian-published volume (and you should!), see my original post about it.

Today’s quote is from Laurie Bell, whose essay “Who’s Your Daddy? Reflections on Masculinity in Butch-Parented Sons” inspired the title for the volume: Read the rest of this post »

Two New Books on LGBTQ Parents and Our Children

I am thrilled to bring you news about two (two!) wonderful new books on LGBTQ parenting: Lesbian and Gay Parents and Their Children: Research on the Family Life Cycle, by Abbie Goldberg, and Who’s Your Daddy? And Other Writings on Queer Parenting, edited by Rachel Epstein. I have a longer article in Bay Windows about the books, which I hope you will go read. Here’s a quick overview, plus a special bonus at the end.

Goldberg’s book, which I noted the other day, brings together decades of professional research on lesbian- and gay- headed families (and the little that exists on families with transgender parents). It is an academic work, stuffed with citations, but all the more compelling because of its rigor.

Epstein’s book is a collection of nearly 40 essays from LGBTQ parents and our adult children across every letter of the spectrum. The authors offer personal, historical, and political insights and raise tough questions about parenting, gender, and society.

Both Goldberg and Epstein call for a deeper understanding of LGBTQ-headed families, not only in comparison to non-LGBTQ ones, but also in and of themselves. Each takes a different approach—one is an academic synthesis, the other a less formal essay collection—but both offer much food for thought.

Problem is, Who’s Your Daddy? is published in Canada, and seems hard to find south of the 49th parallel. (It actually came out in April, but word spread slowly to the States.) Amazon.com, Amazon.ca, BN.com, and Powell’s.com are all out of stock. You can, however, buy it from Women’s Press or Chapters.indigo.ca, ask Canadian friends to send you a copy, or take a field trip north yourself. I hear it’s not yet too cold up there. (You can also ask your local library to stock both books.)

Because of the sheer number of authors and perspectives in Who’s Your Daddy?, I asked Epstein if I could post quotes from a number of the essays over the next couple of weeks. She agreed, so look for them in the coming days.

I’ll start with one from Epstein herself, in the introduction to the book: Read the rest of this post »