This week, I want to highlight another contributed post, this time from the blog May the Beauty. The author describes herself as “a 6 feet tall, spirited, wordy, loving, coffee serving, cheese-ball. Also known as a Mother, Wife, Partner, Daughter, Sister, Aunt, Cousin, Lesbian, Friend, Neighbor and Christian.”

In her post, she describes a close friend who nevertheless voted Yes on Prop 8. She, like Haley, tries to navigate the often complex intersection of belief, friendship, and family:

Look, I can’t tell you that it doesn’t bother me, because it does; and I can’t act like I’m better than you because I have a friend on “the other side,” because I’m not. In fact I’ve been rather pissy even though we all agreed to stop arguing and start acting like our friendship is worth more than our disagreement. But here’s the deal: we are asking people to take some of their most dearly held personal, spiritual beliefs and set them aside for our sake. Often these folks have had an arduous journey to faith—learning to be obedient to your maker isn’t always easy; we can all attest to that, even if the tenants of our faith conflict. We’re asking them to set aside personal history, spiritual lessons, and family mores—but we’re not asking very nicely. We call them bigots, we refuse to be their friends, and then we ask them to “treat us with respect” by voting for us to marry.

She continues about her friend:

Our friendship baffles everyone . . . including us. . . .

I do not advocate gay people going out en masse and making friends with a conservative in order to Further Our Cause. It’s often painful. Certainly frustrating. And I’m no revolutionary. . . .

Here is what I want for my family: I want us to be respectful, disciplined, loyal and fun. I want to be creative, diligent, and thrifty. I want to know how to set goals and to keep Hope light in my heart. I want my kids to know how to be incredible friends, to nurture heart of hospitality in their home, and to be faithful always to family. I want them to be able to speak openly and honestly about their spiritual experiences. I want their spirit to shine through their actions, and when people who know them open their mouths to describe them, I want them to find their hearts on their lips.

Our friends are models of many of these qualities. They’re extraordinary. This tenuous friendship will foster all of those qualities in my children, and in me. They’re inspirational folk.

So they’re not bigots, and if this were a playground, I’d fight anyone who called them names.

I’m not a advocate of putting another initiative on the ballot in 2010; I’d like to have more time . . . I have so much more to learn. I need to learn to discuss the issue respectfully with these people that I love. I want those conversations to leave us feeling connected and to foster empathy on both sides instead of leaving us anxious, separated and stewing.

It’s another extraordinary piece, and I urge you to go read the whole thing.

My opinion? Yes, there are true bigots out there in the world, and they tend to get the headlines. The great mass of people are not so easily categorized, however, and it is in those uncertainties where there is hope, and room for conversation and change. Whether a California initiative comes in 2010 or 2012, and no matter what issue may be relevant to our particular states and families, we need to start having those conversations.

In her post, she makes the surprising admission of being a regular reader of LesbianDad, a blog likely familiar to many of you. For those who don’t know Polly and her wonderful blog, Haley’s description is actually pretty accurate: “one of those crazy, liberal Californians, Berkeley graduate, feminist, Buddhist, lesbian activist. She’s also a ‘Baba’ of two children and an excellent writer and photographer. She and her wife have one of the 18,000 marriages that were upheld by the California Supreme Court last week when it also upheld Proposition 8.”

Haley observes that her reading of Polly’s blog “is likely to ilicit [sic] the same ‘duh’ response of outrage from both the LGBT and conservative reader-types, but I’m sitting squarely on the (barbed wire) fence on this whole gay marriage issue.”

In Haley’s eyes, homosexuality is a sin. At the same time, she reflects:

In this country, people aren’t required by law to believe what I believe. And, other people don’t think it’s a sin. My faith is big enough to even like a few of those people, even if I don’t agree with the complete scope of how they’ve chosen to live their lives. How do we properly deal with that in society? I know our response to sin has changed in the years since Moses codified the laws of the Israelite’s theocracy.

By reading Lesbian Dad, she says:

I see the joy LD derives from her family every day. I see the frustration she feels about her their ‘legal’ status. I see the faces of her children at museums and dance class and home. I read that she sits on their beds after they’re asleep to stare with joy and hope for their futures just like I do. But for time zones, we might be doing it at the exact same moment.

Haley writes that she has committed herself to listening, “not just to my side of the story, but to the side that might be uncomfortable. To look full on into the real ‘face’ of the gay marriage debate.”

She says she has not yet resolved the matter in her own mind, but adds the following in response to a comment I made on the post:

My sincerest first hope is to come from the place of respect regarding LGBT families. As I share where I am, I know some of my words aren’t popular ones. But, on the whole, I’m trusting your community. I’m convinced that family conservatives MUST learn to love–yes, and to LIKE–others before faith has any real relevance. To that end, dialog is good.

It is easy, in these days of rallies and ranting, to get the impression that change happens for those who shout the loudest. That sometimes works, but more often, I think, change happens in these quiet conversations. It happens in the willingness of individuals like Polly to tell their stories, and in the willingness of individuals like Haley to do that most courageous act, listen—really listen—to others. It is a slower process, but also a deeper and more secure one.

I am honored that Haley submitted her post to Blogging for LGBT Families Day, taking her chances in a potentially hostile crowd. I hope that others in the LGBT community do not berate her for her still unresolved position. We will never gain allies if we do not allow them the chance to take their own journeys and find their own answers.

Go read the whole post. My excerpts here don’t do it justice, and Haley is herself an excellent writer. She’s also more of a true Christian than many of those who profess to be.

Over the next few days, I’ll be reading through the posts and highlighting a few that catch my eye. Please leave a comment if there are some that catch yours (other than your own).

(And if you didn’t participate, but would like to, go ahead and sneak in your post. I’m a parent. Late is standard.)

To submit a post, complete the form at the end of this post, after the jump. If you don’t have a blog of your own (but only then), please leave your contribution in a comment.

[It's not too late: I'm lax about the end time, anyway—I'm a parent and know what it means to be running late. Thanks to all who have already submitted posts!]

A special thanks to the Family Equality Council for sponsoring the event and donating a free registration to Family Week in Provincetown for the drawing. Thanks also to author Sarah Brannen, who contributed a signed copy of her book, Uncle Bobby’s Wedding. (See end of post for details of drawing.)

Thanks as well to The Bilerico Project, COLAGE, HRC, PageOneQ, and the many others who went the extra mile in encouraging participation.

I hope you take the time to read other people’s posts and enjoy the diversity of the LGBT community and our allies. Over the next few weeks, I’ll be writing up some posts that pull together various themes that emerge.

Posts are included in submission order.

1. Lavendertales.com I Want A Daddy
2. EveryFamily (celebrating all kinds) A Boy I Loved in Red High Heels
3. 10-Foot Poet Blogging for LGBT Families
4. LegalOut Blog The Importance of Legal Planning for LGBT Individuals and Couples
5. En Busca de lo Naranja y Verde Un día todos los días
6. How to Bring Your Kids Up Queer Genderqueer Mommy
7. HRC Back Story MN Gov Fails Kids, But We Won’t Stop Fighting For Them
8. JosieHenley’s Weblog Busy Half Term With The Boy (blogging for LGBT families)
9. Burning or Building Bridges in the Community Who’s Got Your Back?
10. Fly My Pretty Crossdressing toddlers
11. 8thdayplanner Raising Kids in Love
12. We Love Children’s Books Blogging for LGBT Families
13. May the Beauty Blogging for GLBT families
14. Mamis por dos. Madres lesbianas. 1º de junio: Día anual de bloquear por las familias LGBT. Nosotros.
15. Familias Homoparentales Integradas Argentinas Día de los blogs de Familias LGBT
16. Doorknobs That Lock Things our son has learned over the past year
17. Bitacora (Chile) Estudio Familias Lesbicas Chile
18. The Bilerico Project (Jillian Weiss) My Impossible Father
19. tin, steel and rust Sunday mornings at Church
20. El Blog de Luli Bloggeando por familias LGTB!!
21. We Love Children’s Books Blogging for LGBT Families Day
22. Related Topics Lesbian and Gay Families: Living on a Patchwork Quilt
23. The Other Mother Blogging for LGBT Families on our 12th Anniversary
24. Up Popped A Fox Of Produce and Lesbians
25. Artificially Sweetened Proud to be a family
26. Moms and Bombs I love my lesbian moms
27. Damn Straight Standing Up as the Baby
28. Truth and Love After 40 Meet The Boys: From a late in life family
29. Adamant Sun How Prop 8 Changed Our Little Gay Family
30. Notebooks of Daily Life Straight Guys for Equality
31. LasDosMamis Mi familia LGBT
32. LasDosMamis Blogueando por las familias LGBT
33. COMALES Blogueando sobre las familias LGBT
34. LOweetzieLIbatTA’s Deviant Art Gratitude and Optimism
35. Green Dads A Place For Different Beliefs, A Place For Our Family
36. One Lazy Liberal Blogging for LGBT Families
37. The Mama Too Blog for LGBT Families Day
38. enough grows changing tides
39. Jesus has Two Daddies Blogging for LGBT Families Day
40. Vince’s View Still, Too Many Ophelias
41. Aberration Nation Two Dad Deal: An Aberration Story
42. Pittsburgh Lesbian Correspondents Blogging for LGBT Families
43. Strollerderby Not Every Kid with a Mother has a Mommy
44. DC PoppyCock Flying the Flag
45. 2 mommies and a shmoo Finding our Peace
46. Random Musings Blogging for LGBT Families Day
47. Queercents Blogging for LGBT Families Day: Working Mommies
48. Lotus Opening An Open Letter to Senator Dianne Feinstein from a Homo West Virginian
49. jaysays.com LGBT Lessons for Straight People: So Simple a Child “Gets” It
50. Sarah Brannen LGBT Families
51. Thoughts From A Lezzymom Blogging for LGBT Families – Typical Family
52. Dancing on the Edge Happy Blogging Day!
53. Books, Yarn, Ink and Other Pursuits What Makes a Family?
54. Diana’s Little Corner in the Nutmeg State Blogging for LGBT Families Day 2009
55. Own It. Love It. Live It. If You Fight, I’ll Fight
56. Not the Mama Take Me Out to the Ball Game
57. ENC blog Happy 4th Annual Blogging for LGBT Families!
58. Crossroads and Beyond Blogging for GBLT Families 2009
59. Snailbird Blogging for LGBT Families Day!
60. EyeJunkie The One Where I Come Out… And Say It
61. figboiler community from family.
62. related topics Lesbian and Gay Families: Another Part of the Patchwork–ART Rules
63. Susanica Truth and Reality
64. Humpty Dumpty House Coming Out to the Birth Family
65. No Designation My Two Moms <3 Their Trans Daughter
66. KJ and the Kids It’s personal to me
67. Maternidades L Familia somos: Blogging for LGBT Families Day 2009
68. Queercents (Serena Freewomyn) Love and Money: Lessons Learned From My Queer Wedding
69. Tenorissimo What is family?
70. Calliopes_Muse Why I Fight On
71. Brenda’s Banter LGBT Family
72. Center Blog (Terry Boggis) Blogging for LGBT Families: In gratitude and grief: thoughts on the death of Dr. Tiller and what it means for LGBT families
73. T-Equality Blog Working Together for Transgender Children
74. Operación Botones Blogging for LGBT Families 2009: a rant
75. Lezziemama Blogging for LGBT Families
76. Traipsing about Granby Blogging for GLBT Families Day 2009
77. Encantada Blog ¡Blogueando por nuestras familias!
78. Notebooks of Daily Life The Ballad of John and Marco
79. 4/5/2008 Blogging for GLBT Families, Weddings and….
80. Labels are for Jars Blogging for LBGT Families Day: Elbowing at the Boundaries
81. (Comment at Mombian) (Blogging without a Blog for LGBT Families Day
82. Miss Rants Ad familiares
83. Butt to Chair: Thoughts on the Writing Life Writing About LGBT Issues
84. Fairymere Queerspawn Toast
85. Retro-Food We are THAT LGBT Family
86. (en)gender Blogging for LGBT Families Day!
87. Were Those Wrinkles There Yesterday? Waving My Rainbow Pompoms!
88. The Bilerico Project (Waymon Hudson) My “Non-Traditional” Family: Blogging for LGBT Families
89. EveryFamily Lily at Thirteen
90. Diary of a Modern Matriarch A Future World
91. Louise’s Snack Bar Blogging For LGBT Families Day 2009
92. All For the Love of You Unexpected Gifts
93. Thalamus Center – Early Childhood Psychological Development Growing up Gay “Gay Marriage” – Marriage Equality – Opponents Based on Facts or Personal Fears of Antigay Religious Norms – afraid to love and to be loved?
94. LizaWasHere 2009: Blogging for LGBT Families Day
95. Embrace Your Age Cause You Livin’ Blogging for LGBT Families — Filling With Joy
96. Transsexual Transition In Prog Blogging for LGBT Families Day!
97. My Field of Paper Flowers Blogging for LGBT Families Day 2009
98. Life Coaching for Women How Well Do You Handle Difficult Situations?
99. The Family Ties That Bind Blogging for a Human Rights Cause
100. Affine Financial Services What can kids learn from their LGBT parents about money?
101. The Mouse’s Nest The radical act of being ourselves
102. narrating kayoz Two mums *and* two dads – how cool is that?
103. The Daddy Diaries Random Thoughts
104. The Ever-Changing View Blogging for LGBT Families Day 2009
105. Playa Minded Blogging for Equality
106. InterstateQ.com Family is really all that counts
107. Philadelphia Gay Parenting Examiner Summer camp for kids of LGBTQ families
108. Notebooks of Daily Life I Hate Prop 8 (Guest Post by Jared, Age 7)
109. Forever Reaching A Dream Still Deferred
110. Life Is Messy Daily lesson
111. (Comment at Mombian) Our Non-traditional Traditional Family
112. A girl walks into a blog…Blogging for LGBT Families Day 2009
113. Are You Kidding Blogging for LGBT Families Day 2009
114. Come What May A Lesbian Family Weekend
115. thetotalfemme Mom’s Base
116. Abiekt Zapracowany
117. Lesbian Dad Pas de deux
118. Bent Alaska Pride Chorus keeps on Singing
119. Religious Action Center Same-Sex Family Values
120. Mommy With a Penis Thing-in-Hand

I will do the drawing this Friday, June 5. You must leave a valid e-mail to be eligible. It will not be shared or sold. Family Equality Council employees and paying advertisers on Mombian are not eligible.

Please help get the word out through your blogs, Twitter, Facebook, etc. The more of us who participate, the more impact we can have. Grab a banner here.

Posts are already starting to trickle in. While it’s more fun if we all post on the same day, I’m happy to take early posts if you’re going to be away on the 1st. Just complete the form at the bottom of this post, after the jump.

Remember, the Family Equality Council, the event sponsor, has donated a free Family Registration to Family Week 2009 in Provincetown. I will give this away to one randomly selected participant.

Also, author Sarah Brannen has offered a signed copy of her picture book Uncle Bobby’s Wedding. It’s the delightful tale of a young guinea pig named Chloe, who is concerned that her uncle will no longer have time for her after he marries his boyfriend. It’s a reassuring tale for all children, regardless of family type. I’ll give that away to a random participant as well.

Here’s how it works:

• Blog on a topic related to LGBT families on or before June 1, 2009.
• Complete the form at the bottom of this post to submit your entry.
• I’ll compile the posts and highlight them here on June 1. Come back and read the stories and insights of our community and allies.
• To be eligible for the Family Week or book drawings, you must leave a valid e-mail address. Employees of FEC and paying advertisers on Mombian are ineligible.

Any blogger who wants to support LGBT families is welcome, LGBT or not, parent or not. I encourage those who don’t usually post about LGBT families or LGBT issues, as well as those for whom every day is Blogging for LGBT Families Day. Give it a spin based on your usual blog topics. There’s no set formula or format. Photos and videos are also welcome.

The list of last year’s contributions is still online for your perusal.

Please also download a banner and promote the event on your site, Facebook, Twitter, etc. The more people who participate, the more impact our voices will have.

I chose the date not only because it is the start of Pride Month, but also because it sits almost directly between Mother’s Day and Father’s Day, honoring both while acknowledging that not all families fit the traditional model.

I am also very pleased to announce that the Family Equality Council will once again be sponsoring the event, and has donated a free Family Registration to Family Week 2009 in Provincetown. I will give this away to one randomly selected participant.

Here’s how it works:

• Blog on a topic related to LGBT families on or before June 1, 2009.
• Complete the form at the bottom of this post to submit your entry.
• I’ll compile the posts and highlight them here on June 1. Come back and read the stories and insights of our community and allies.
• To be eligible for the Family Week drawing, you must leave a valid e-mail address. Employees of FEC and paying advertisers on Mombian are ineligible.

Any blogger who wants to support LGBT families is welcome, LGBT or not, parent or not. I encourage those who don’t usually post about LGBT families or LGBT issues, as well as those for whom every day is Blogging for LGBT Families Day. Give it a spin based on your usual blog topics. There’s no set formula or format. Photos and videos are also welcome.

The list of last year’s contributions is still online for your perusal.

Please also download a banner and promote the event on your site, Facebook, Twitter, etc. The more people who participate, the more impact our voices will have.

Last year, over 170 bloggers from around the world participated, including lesbian moms, gay dads, adult children of LGBT parents, members of the transgender community, LGBT individuals without children, and straight allies. Some bloggers told stories about their paths to parenthood, or tales about their children; some wrote about LGBT relatives or friends; others discussed current political events; and several spoke of why their faith obliges them to support LGBT rights. This year’s writings should be equally diverse and compelling.

Here’s how it works:

• Blog on a topic related to LGBT families on or before June 1, 2009.
• Complete the form at the bottom of this post to submit your entry.
• I’ll compile the posts and highlight them here on June 1. Come back and read the stories and insights of our community and allies.

Any blogger who wants to support LGBT families is welcome, LGBT or not, parent or not. I encourage those who don’t usually post about LGBT families or LGBT issues, as well as those for whom every day is Blogging for LGBT Families Day. Give it a spin based on your usual blog topics. There’s no set formula or format. Photos and videos are also welcome.

The list of last year’s contributions is still online for your perusal.

Please also download a banner and promote the event on your site, Facebook, Twitter, etc. The more people who participate, the more impact our voices will have.

Thanks to the Family Equality Council for sponsorship of the event.