Same-sex couples tend to share child care and certain household chores more equitably than different-sex ones, according to a new study.
Both same- and different-sex couples divvy up household chores, according to “Modern Families: Same- and Different-Sex Couples Negotiating at Home,“ conducted by the non-profit, nonpartisan Families and Work Institute. Different-sex couples, however, “generally do so in ways that align with traditional gender and power roles.”
The study looked at 225 dual-earner couples who have been married or living with a partner for at least one year, including same-sex and different-sex couples, with and without children. Both members of the couples completed the surveys.
In different-sex, dual-earner couples, a person’s sex, relative income, and work hours more often predict his or her household responsibilities. Women, lower earners, and those with fewer work hours take primary responsibility for stereotypically female chores (cleaning, cooking, laundry, grocery shopping), whereas men, higher earners, and those with more work hours take primary responsibility for stereotypically male chores (outdoor work, household repairs). Errand tend to be shared.
For same-sex, dual-earner couples, however, relative income and work hours do not reliably predict household responsibilities. A greater proportion of same-sex couples share routine and sick child care responsibilities (74 percent versus 38 percent and 62 percent versus 32 percent, respectively). More same-sex couples also share laundry (44 percent versus 31 percent) and household repair (33 percent versus 15 percent) responsibilities.
Interestingly, being satisfied in the division of responsibilities depends more on whether couples have a conversation when they move in together about how to divide them, rather than on how the tasks are divided or whether the couple is same-sex or different-sex. That’s not to say there aren’t any differences. More same-sex couples (75 percent) than different-sex couples (58 percent) discussed their relative contributions to household finances when they moved in together. And a greater proportion of women in different-sex relationships (20 percent) stayed silent about their wishes regarding household responsibilities than men (11 percent for both same- and different-sex relationships). Women in same-sex relationships were in between. (15 percent stayed silent.)
The moral of the story, then, is “Talk before you U-Haul.”
One gap in the research that I’d like to see filled, however, is whether the presence of one or more bisexual or transgender individuals in a couple (same- or different-sex) has any impact on division of household chores. In other words, are those couples more like cisgender gay and lesbian couples, or more like cisgender straight couples (or different from either)? Do these couples’ connection to the LGBTQ community (which seems permeated with a more flexible approach to gender roles) have an impact on their division of responsibilities?
Clearly, the Modern Families study is only scratching the surface of all the possibilities. I’d like to think, however, that same-sex couples are helping to show the world that there’s more than one way to manage a household, and it doesn’t have to be based on traditional gender roles. In fact, that’s likely one of the reasons some people are so against recognizing same-sex relationships—but all the more reason for us to be visible.