Marriage equality is sweeping the nation (32 states and counting!), and LGB people have been able to serve openly in the U.S. military since 2011. Same-sex military parents and their children still face challenges, however.
Jessica Huskey and her wife, a U.S. Marine, are expecting their first child in January. Huskey wrote at the American Military Partner Association blog that while many of the fears they face are those of any new parents, others are not. Although Huskey’s wife is currently stationed in North Carolina, where their marriage is legal, they could easily find themselves in a non-equality state given the many moves a servicemember usually makes. She worries:
Can someone take our son away from my wife if something were to happen to me? Will a judge honor my wishes of child custody in my will if I were to die? Will a hospital honor my wife’s health care power of attorney for my son and me in an emergency situation or will she be left without simple visitation rights?
Things have gotten better for same-sex military parents and their children since I profiled one couple back in 2008 about their experience raising children under Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell (DADT). The fight to repeal DADT then paved the way for more widespread marriage equality, as Sue Fulton, a former Army captain and Executive Director of Knights Out, explains at the Advocate. (She also points out that parents were among the 15 gay and lesbian servicemembers who shared their stories with senior Pentagon officials at a meeting that was a “turning point” in DADT repeal.)
Huskey reminds us, though, that until all states offer marriage equality, LGB servicemembers still are not equal. Fulton notes, too, that transgender servicemembers still cannot serve openly.
Veteran’s Day is coming up in two weeks, and it seems a good time to remember that our country continues to shortchange many of those who daily defend our freedoms.