Although there is an increasing amount of research on the general well-being of children with same-sex parents, little has been done that looks at the parents’ experience in school settings. The few existing studies have focused on elementary schools. A new study, however, seeks to broaden our understanding by looking at the considerations of both same-sex and different-sex adoptive parents when choosing a preschool.
The study, co-authored by Williams Institute Visiting Scholar and Clark University Associate Professor of Psychology Abbie Goldberg and JuliAnna Z. Smith of the University of Massachusetts, and published in the Early Childhood Research Quarterly, looked at the preschool choices of 210 parents in 105 couples, including 35 two-mom couples, 30 two-dad couples, and 40 different-sex couples, all of whom had adopted a child three years earlier. Almost all of the parents (91 percent) were White, but 65 percent of the couples adopted children of color or biracial children.
In preschools, the authors say, parents “may have more contact with teachers and staff, and thus may be more attuned to insensitivities directed at them and/or their child(ren).” The study found that the same-sex parents may be “particularly sensitive” not only to issues related to sexual diversity, but also to those of racial diversity as they evaluate and select preschools for their children. The straight parents, on the other hand, may be especially sensitive to adoption-related stigma and exclusion.
Educational philosophy was the top consideration overall and for each of the three groups of parents within the sample. For different-sex parents, cost was the next consideration — but for same-sex parents, it was the gay-friendliness of the school.
The next most common consideration was racial diversity, among each group and overall, with lesbians the most likely and different-sex parents the least likely to consider it. Parents with children of color were more likely to consider racial diversity than parents of White children.
Interestingly, less than a quarter of the same-sex parents considered the presence of other lesbian/gay-parent families in selecting a school, and only about one-tenth of all participants considered the presence of other adoptive families. The authors say the de-emphasis of these factors may be because there are few such families in their communities, and the parents realized it was “unrealistic” to make this a part of their selection process.
Same-sex parents were, however, more likely than different-sex ones to consider the presence of adoptive families in choosing a school. The authors explain:
These parents were likely aware of the multiple ways that their child would be different from their peers at school, and were thus motivated to find a school that seemed to reflect, normalize, and perhaps value at least this aspect of their family’s diversity. They may also simply place a higher value on diversity in general, as suggested by the fact that they were also more likely to value racial diversity, regardless of their children’s race.
Preschool is the stage during which children are often beginning to comprehend, and are thus receptive to, lessons about diversity and difference. In the absence of such lessons, even very young children may develop heterosexist and racist sentiments, creating an environment in which children with sexual-minority parents — as well as children of color and adopted children — may feel stigmatized, excluded, or ignored.
Same-sex parents were, on the other hand, somewhat less likely than different-sex ones to perceive school mistreatment because of their adoptive status. Goldberg and Smith think this may be because LGB parents are more attuned to mistreatment related to sexual orientation. Also, for same-sex couples, adoption is seen less as an “alternative” form of family building, and more as one of the expected forms. “Thus, they may expect and perceive less mistreatment related to their adoptive status, because they do not view this as the most remarkable aspect of their families,” they write. Different-sex adoptive parents, however, view their adoptive status more as a point of difference from the expected “norm” for their families, and may be more sensitive to mistreatment in that area.
The authors note several limitations of their study, including the fact that the sample was mostly financially well-off, educated, and White. They suggest that further research may reveal differences among parents of different racial and ethnic groups.
What are the takeaways here? Goldberg and Smith say that early childhood educators must themselves be educated about “the benefits of creating a more inclusive curriculum and overall approach to teaching about families and diversity.” They explain:
Preschool is the stage during which children are often beginning to comprehend, and are thus receptive to, lessons about diversity and difference. In the absence of such lessons, even very young children may develop heterosexist and racist sentiments, creating an environment in which children with sexual-minority parents — as well as children of color and adopted children — may feel stigmatized, excluded, or ignored.
Early childhood educators “often receive minimal preparation for working with sexual-minority parent families,” and may consider additional professional training to help them do so, the authors say. (I refer such educators first and foremost to the Welcoming Schools program.) Also helpful, say Goldberg and Smith, may be training about adoptive-parent families, “particularly heterosexual adoptive-parent families, who may be especially sensitive to adoption-related stigma and exclusion.” (The Donaldson Adoption Institute is a good place to start.)
Goldberg and Smith also published a study last July that examined same-sex and different-sex adoptive couples and concluded, “As expected, family type was unrelated to children’s adjustment.”