Dutch pre-teen children raised by two moms scored higher on “core principles of democratic citizenship” than their peers with different-sex parents, according to a new study. But is the takeaway that children with two moms are better citizens? I don’t think so.
The study, announced yesterday by the Williams Institute, looked at children 11-13 years old who participated in a Dutch national survey of civic competence. The survey was not designed to compare children in different family types, but the demographic information collected from the parents allowed researchers to determine which children had same-sex parents. The 32 children with two moms were matched with 32 raised by different-sex couples on age, gender, parental educational level, and parental ethnicity. Those with two moms scored significantly higher than the others on “attitudes concerning acting democratically, dealing with conflicts, and dealing with differences.” (There were not enough children with two dads to be included in the study.)
Principal Investigator Henny Bos, PhD., of the University of Amsterdam (and a former visiting international scholar at the Williams Institute of UCLA), said, “In light of the current international and sociocultural focus on the responsibilities of citizenship, these findings suggest that growing up in nontraditional families fosters a grounding in democratic principles.”
I don’t disagree. But as I’ve said before, it does not follow, and is in no one’s best interest to proclaim, that same-sex parents are “better.” Different, yes. Inclined towards certain characteristics (such as fostering a democratic outlook) that are also present in some different-sex parents, yes. But “better” isn’t warranted, and makes the whole venture of parenting into a competition, which I dislike, whether it’s about democratic principles or if we buy organic fruit for our kids.
It seems worth noting, too, that families who have reason to be upset at their democratic government’s unequal treatment of their families nevertheless believe strongly in the principles behind that democracy. The practice may need improvement, but the principles are sound. (The Netherlands has marriage equality, but does not automatically grant parentage to same-sex couples who have a child.)
When faced with study results like these, a more constructive approach than contests of “who’s better” would be to figure out what lessons we can learn about these parents’ approach to parenthood and democracy that we can share to benefit more children — and ultimately, our whole society.
The study, “Civic Competence of Dutch Children in Female Same-Sex Parent Families: A Comparison With Children of Opposite-Sex Parents,” was conducted by Bos, Nanette Gartrell, M.D. (Williams Institute Visiting Distinguished Scholar, University of Amsterdam), and Jaap Roeleveld, Ph.D and Guuske Ledoux, MA (both of the University of Amsterdam & Kohnstamm Institute). Gartrell is also the principal researcher and Bos is co-investigator of the National Longitudinal Lesbian Family Study (about which more here). The citizenship study appears in the current issue of Youth & Society.