The Lesbian Moms Behind DOMA Repeal

bonauto_maryAs we all ride the waves of elation and joy from yesterday’s marriage equality victories, we lesbian moms can take extra pride in knowing that several of our own were among those leading the way. Prop 8 plaintiffs Kris Perry and Sandy Stier have four kids. And attorney Mary Bonauto, who has been called the “mastermind” of the DOMA repeal, has twins.

Bonauto, the Civil Rights Project Director at Gay & Lesbian Advocates & Defenders (GLAD), lives in Maine with her spouse and their twin daughters. Slate profiled Bonauto yesterday, calling her the “legal architect” and “mastermind” of the DOMA victory, which began in Massachusetts in 2001 with Bonauto’s filing of Goodridge v. Department of Public Health, the case that led to Massachusetts becoming the first state in the country to allow same-sex couples to marry. In a 2004 profile of Bonauto, however, the New York Times reported that she “[disclaimed] any desire for an ”architect” label,” saying instead, ”I’m happy to be a bricklayer.”

Prop 8 plaintiff Perry had her own and other children much in mind today. She told Rachel Maddow: “It’s why we fought so hard, not for ourselves as much as for our own children and everybody else’s children who may themselves be gay or have gay parents or just know someone that is, and they can treat other people with dignity and respect, because frankly, when the country comes together around something that we agree on, we do great things.”

She also told the press, “Even in addition to our own kids, we are so elated over the way in which this helps all kids in California growing up today. They don’t have to live under the tyranny of a law that tells them that they are less equal than everybody else. Sandy and I could not be happier that we have left a legacy in California for all kids to feel equal.”

Watch that clip here—along with the couple getting a phone call from President Obama:


The above three are only a few of the many moms who have been on the leading edge of the fight for marriage equality. Karen Golinski, for example, whom I interviewed for Keen News Service a couple of years ago, was the plaintiff in a case challenging DOMA that won at the district court level. The Supreme Court was asked to consider it, but decided to hear U.S. v. Windsor instead, the case that won yesterday.

Then there are the very many of us who spoke out, marched, wrote letters, shared stories of our families, and simply existed within our communities to help change hearts and minds.

We moms aren’t the only ones who contributed to the wins, of course—but it’s nice to know we’ve been a part of making them possible.

1 thought on “The Lesbian Moms Behind DOMA Repeal”

  1. I have no oblection to profiling the roles of mothers in all our efforts, but I found the comments by the Prop 8 moms particularly troubling. Divorced and never married moms will abound among lesbians as they do among heterosexual women. All children deserve equal respect for their families. No child should be humiliated by social views on “correct” family structure. I explain my views further here:
    http://beyondstraightandgaymarriage.blogspot.com/2013/06/all-children-are-as-good-as-all-other.html

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