DARPA Announces Next-Generation Gaydar System

gaydarThe Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency (DARPA), whose work supported the early development of the Internet, ballistic missile defense, and the Global Positioning System, among other technologies, has announced the launch of its next-generation gaydar technology.

“Over the past decades, gay people have gotten harder to detect,” said Chief Engineer Dr. Anne Tenna. “They are getting married and raising children, which may in many cases mean they are harder to differentiate from their straight neighbors. And in some situations, cultural or ethnic differences may make it hard to tell gay from straight, impeding relations within the worldwide gay community.

“Our new, more sensitive system is nevertheless capable of detecting gay people with a much higher degree of accuracy than ever before.”

The new X-1138 system also comes with an upgraded Bilateral Laser Transmission module, allowing it to pick up signals across the LGBT spectrum, Tenna explained.

Users will be able to control the X-1138 using the proprietary LesbOS. Early testers gave the operating system good reviews, although they said it sometimes slowed from running too many processes.

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