LGBT Parenting Roundup

Here are some of the parenting-specific LGBT stories of late:

• Deborah Skolnik of Parenting.com writes at CNN of “The new normal: Stay-at-home Dads and gay parents.”  A nice piece that shows the many different varieties of families and family organization.
• Allison Sherry at the Denver Post profiles U.S. Reps. Jared Polis (D-Colo.) and Cory Gardner (R-Colo.), who each became dads recently. Polis is gay; Gardner isn’t—a good piece emphasizing similarities rather than differences.
• Trish Bendix at The Frisky ponders what to do when a friend, unrequested, offers his sperm to help you start a family.
• Shannon Cate of Peter’s Cross Station has a guest post at The Declassified Adoptee about “Separating Adoptee Rights from Homophobia.” It’s a thought-provoking piece that also has implications for non-adoptive parents who are wondering how or whether to incorporate donors or surrogates into their lives.
• Martin Gill, plaintiff in the case that struck down Florida’s ban on adoption by gay men and lesbians, has an op-ed in The Hill about the Every Child Deserves a Family Act, which would withhold federal adoption and foster care assistance funds from states that discriminate against LGBT people in foster placements or adoption.

LGBTQ Parents Needed for Study: Massachusetts and Texas

Kate Henley Averett, a graduate student in sociology at the University of Texas, is seeking LGBTQ parents for a study of parenting philosophies and practices.

At the moment, she says at her Web site:

I am looking for LGBTQ couples in Massachusetts and Texas who are parents of children ages 10 and under to be interviewed for my research. Interviews will be about an hour to an hour and a half in length and will be confidential. As a queer woman and (hopeful) future parent, I have a strong interest in making sure that research on this topic is done to the highest standards to prevent misrepresentations of LGBTQ persons.

Below is some additional information she’s sent me; there’s more at her Web site, and you can contact her at kate.averett@utexas.edu.

I’m a second year graduate student at the University of Texas at Austin in Sociology, and the study I’m working on has been approved by the UT IRB as well as by my advisors in the Soc department. In short, this study is about LGBTQ parenting philosophies and practices – mainly, what LGBTQ parents think the ideal way to parent is, how they actually parent, and in what areas do those two (ideals and reality) line up and where do they not – as well as where (in what areas of parenting, from what members of their community, from society, etc) LGBTQ parents find support and where they don’t. The study methodology I’m using is in depth, semi-structured interviews, in which I ask broad questions so as to let what the parents think is important be the main focus of the interview. The interviews are anonymous and confidential and names of the interviewees are removed from the transcripts of the interviews so as to never be associated with the data.

I have a website that has info about my research interests and how they tie in to this particular study, as well as about me (I’m queer, married to a woman, not (yet!) a parent, but have worked with kids in various settings including working full time in childcare, so I’m not a stranger to various ins and outs of parenting!)  – and if you have any other questions PLEASE don’t hesitate to ask! I would love any help I can get spreading the word about the study!

Lesbian Teen Provides Lifeline of Books to LGBT Youth

(I broke this story a few weeks ago in my Mombian newspaper column, reprinted below. It’s about a lesbian teen making a difference—and underscores for me how much things have changed since I was a teen. Despite the horror stories we still hear about bullying, suicide, and other ills, there are more gay-straight alliance clubs, more LGBT-inclusive books, and more out students than when I was growing up. The world isn’t perfect yet, but I do believe it’s headed in the right direction. Teens like Amelia are helping it get there.)

For LGBT youth, age-appropriate books about LGBT people and issues can be a lifeline. Not every school has the resources or desire to include such books in their collections, though. But 14-year-old Amelia Roskin-Frazee, an out lesbian ninth grader from California, founded The Make It Safe Project to solve that problem. The project gives free packages of LGBT books to schools that need them, and works to ensure the books will be readily available to students.

“When I figured out that a lot of schools didn’t have any resources about what it means to be LGBT or how to come out,” explained Amelia, “I decided that I wanted to help send those books to schools.”

“My goal is to provide awareness for people and also to provide the reading material that will make them safe,” she added.

She launched the project a month ago, and has already sent free packages to schools in Arizona, Pennsylvania, California, New Jersey, and North Dakota.  Read the rest of this post »

Happy Turkey Baster Awareness Day 2011

A very happy Thanksgiving to all of you celebrating it this week. Remember to make the turkey baster jokes before your relatives do.

Posting will be light here for a few days as our family will be stuffing ourselves with poultry and pie.

Blogging for Adoption: There Are No “Alternative” Families

The Family Equality Council is holding a “Blogging Adoption” day today in honor of National Adoption Month. I’ve written a lot about adoption lately—some great new resources have just come out, including a book looking at recent research on adoption by lesbians and gay men, edited by David Brodzinsky and Adam Pertman of the Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute, and a major new 69-page report on best practices in adoption by lesbians and gay men, from the same organization.

To my mind, the key takeaways from all of the above material are these:

• Over 65,500 adoptive children and 14,000 foster children are already being raised by gay or lesbian parents in the U.S.
• All of the legitimate, peer-reviewed, academic studies that have been done show that children being raised by lesbian or gay parents are as well-adjusted as any others. These findings are supported by major professional organizations, including the American Medical Association, the American Academy of Pediatrics, and the Child Welfare League of America.
• Finally—do the math: Over 115,000 children are still waiting for adoptive homes, while over two million LGB people are interested in adopting. (Presumably, many transgender people are also interested in adopting, too, but there has been less research on them.)

A Weekend of Triple Remembrance

Today is International Survivors of Suicide Day and National Adoption Day. Tomorrow  marks the Transgender Day of Remembrance.

Three separate observances, but each of which has meaning for many of us as members of the LGBT community.

No one deserves to die from hatred and prejudice, or because they saw no alternative to suicide. Every child deserves a permanent family. And yet bias, higher risk of suicide attempts, and barriers to adoption still confront transgender people and rest of the LGBT community. (Let’s be clear, of course—the higher risk of suicide attempts among LGBT people isn’t because of anything inherent to being LGBT, but because of societal prejudices and pressures that may exacerbate other mental health issues.)

Whether you are honoring those lost, those who have survived, families created, or some combination of the three, may it be a weekend of both remembrance and hope for the future.

Weekly Political Roundup

• Reps. Tammy Baldwin (D-WI) and Ileana Ros-Lehtinen (R-FL), along with Senators Joe Lieberman (I-CT) and Susan Collins (R-ME), introduced the Domestic Partnership Benefits and Obligations Act in their respective houses. The Act would offer the same benefits to the same-sex domestic partners of federal employees as to opposite-sex married spouses.
• The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services has updated Healthcare.gov to include a new tool that lets small businesses find insurance plans that offer domestic partner or same-sex partner coverage.
• The California Supreme Court said supporters of Proposition 8 have the standing to defend Prop 8 in federal court, even though state officials are not doing so.
• Anti-LGBT advocates in California filed papers to try and get an initiative on the November 2012 ballot asking voters to remove provisions from the FAIR Education Act that require schools to include information about the historical contributions of LGBT people, among others, in social studies courses and prohibit schools from adopting materials that discriminate against LGBT people.
• Colorado State Rep. Mark Ferrandino (D), who is openly gay, was elected minority leader.
• The Massachusetts legislature passed a bill protecting transgender people from discrimination in housing, employment, and credit. Governor Deval Patrick (D) has said he will sign it.
• LGBT advocates in Washington said they would push the legislature to enact marriage equality in 2012, but those in Oregon said they would not pursue a ballot measure for equality next year.

Iowa Court to Decide If Both Lesbian Moms Can Go on Child’s Birth Certificate

Yes, same-sex couples can marry in Iowa—but a state district court heard arguments last week in a case to determine whether the child born to a married lesbian couple has the right to have the names of both her parents on her birth certificate, as do children of same-sex couples legally married (and civil unioned) in other states.  (Not to mention children of opposite-sex couples in every state.) I’ve covered the story in depth for Keen News Service; hope you’ll go have a read.