Zombie Marie Curie Offers Advice to Girls in Science

Presented without comment to all the girls who like science. Thanks, XKCD!

Happy Mother’s (s’) Day!

A very happy day to all who claim the title!

My last two posts have been in anticipation of the holiday, so I won’t post anything new here, except to remind you all that halfway between now and Father’s (s’) Day, I’m going to be hosting the sixth annual Blogging for LGBT Families Day, in celebration of the many types of families in our community. Please join us!

For today, though, I hope you spend some time relishing being a mom and celebrating with your families.

LGBT Parenting Roundup: Mothers’ Day Edition

(I’m skipping my usual Weekly Political Roundup in order to bring you a slew of mom-related stories for Mother’s (s’) Day.)

• Steve Rothaus at the Miami Herald profiles Andrea Askowitz, author of My Miserable Lonely Lesbian Pregnancy, and her spouse Victoria Azpurua.
• Deborah Goldstein tells the tale of buying her Jewish son a pink, sparkly book that features Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny.
• I like this story in the Irish Voice about two moms who had their first child in the back of a New York Cab. The paper makes no big deal about the fact that it’s two moms. It’s just an odd (though not unheard of) location to give birth. I also like the fact that the police officers who helped them later brought them two t-shirts that said “I Love My NY Mom.”
• Vikki at Up Popped a Fox writes of how Minnesota’s proposed ballot initiative to ban marriage for same-sex couples will affect her family. She asks: “Luisa and I have done all we can to protect our family legally but how will we protect our children from the war of words that will take place when our civil rights are placed on the ballot for popular vote?” Excellent question.
• And I have to mention this story yet again—about the mother of a critically ill child and an anti-LGBT neighbor whose mind she changed—even though I posted about it the other day. If you missed it, go read.

On a more political note, I’ll point you to a few parenting-related pieces I’ve done for Keen News Service:

• The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services (HHS) has issued a memo encouraging child welfare agencies to better serve the needs of LGBTQ youth in the foster care system, and calling LGBT prospective parents “a largely untapped resource” for providing foster or adoptive homes to LGBTQ young people.
• Many states continue to discriminate against LGBT individuals or couples in adoption and foster placements, however. Here’s my overview of the landscape. (On a related note (if you’ll forgive a bit about dads in this Mothers’ Day post), here’s the story of two gay dads in Arizona raising 12 kids.)
• And U.S. Rep. Pete Stark (D-Calif.) reintroduced the Every Child Deserves a Family Act that would withhold federal funds from states that discriminate on the basis of sexual orientation or gender identity in adoption and foster placements, and require HHS to provide guidance and training for states and agencies.

Finally, you might want to check out (or have your kids check out) COLAGE’s LGBTQ-inclusive Mother’s (s’) Day e-cards.

I am a member of the Amazon Associates program, and get a small referral fee from all purchases made at Amazon.com via links on this site. You are under no obligation to purchase through them.

Waffles and Roller Coasters: Mother’s (s’) Day Reflections

(Originally published as my Mombian newspaper column.)

When I asked my seven-year-old son what he thought I should write in my parenting column about Mother’s Day, he said, “Tell them that having two moms is just like having two people of any kind take care of you, except it’s more work on Mother’s Day.”

I’m a little worried, since at his current age we haven’t even asked him to make us both breakfast in bed. I’m not seeing a lot of waffles in my future.

His comment got me thinking, though, about what it means to be a mother. For me, motherhood began with the birth of our son. For others, it may begin with fostering, adoption, or partnering with someone who has children from a previous relationship. And some may choose to use the title “mother” instead of “father” as part of accepting a female gender identity (although I also know transgender parents who continue to use their original parental titles even after transitioning).

But becoming a mother is only part of what it means to be a mother (or a parent of any gender, for that matter). Raising a child involves caring, feeding, butt-wiping, guiding, motivating, listening, picking up after, teaching them to pick up after themselves, and otherwise preparing these growing humans to become functioning members of society. If they learn to make waffles along the way, so much the better. Read the rest of this post »

Royal Wedding Poem: “Absolutely Queer”

Last week, I wrote about the poem that British Poet Laureate Carol Ann Duffy was writing for Prince William and Kate Middleton, now the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge. Duffy is a mom, and also a lesbian, and had hinted that any poem she wrote for the royal wedding would be inclusive of both marriages and civil partnerships.

Well, the poem is out, and Deb over at Deb on the Rocks has given it her analysis. She calls it “absolutely queer,” and writes, “Duffy gave the Royal Couple, and the British people, a dyke love song.”

I can’t disagree with Deb’s interpretation of the feminine aspects of the imagery. I’m not convinced Duffy was deliberately writing a dyke love poem for William and Kate, though—but I do think that at the very least, she was being deliberately ambiguous, and that is perhaps enough to make it queer indeed. The poem takes the idea of a union between two people completely out of the context of a public wedding ceremony, and makes it very much about the personal relationship, which transcends public ceremony or legalities. I can totally see it used as a reading for many a lesbian wedding/commitment ceremony. It’s a beautiful poem and well worth a read (as is Deb’s post about it).

I also think it’s a sign of the times that the Guardian newspaper, in reprinting the poem along with several other new love poems, says (my emphasis), “I’m sure that many of these wonderful poems will be spoken in future years at partnerships and weddings.” The Guardian has always been left of center, so maybe that’s not surprising—but as someone who lived in the U.K. during the time of Section 28, which forbid public authorities from “promoting homosexuality,” this seems like progress to me.

What do you think of the poem?

Two Moms, a Child’s Ill Heart, and Changing Hearts

If you read one story about lesbian moms today, make it this one from RH Reality Check, by Jaime Jenett. Jenett writes from her perspective as the nonbiological mother of a critically ill child, and says, “policies designed to prevent same sex families from having legal protections took on a whole new meaning for me” after the birth of her son.

She also describes her neighbors in California, whose “Yes on Prop 8″ sticker hurt her every time she passed by. She wrote them a letter (also posted at her blog)—and got a response, not from the same neighbor, but from another Yes on 8 supporter whom they had met at a camp for children with cardiac disease.

The woman wrote, “After meeting you two and reading your blogs I’m so sorry for my stupidity. I saw the love you and Laura shared with each other and Simon. As a fellow heart mother I know whats it’s like to have a child fighting for their life. Why would I or should I deny you or Simon the same rights as me.”

You should go read the whole response at Jenett’s blog. You might want a box of tissues handy.

The New Yorker Lesbian Mom Cartoon

I’ve been writing Mothers’ (‘s) Day for years (at least as far back as 2007); now the New Yorker makes the punctuation funny in one of its famed cartoons.

Let’s not forget, however, that while Heather may have two mommies, Jane may have only one—but she may still be a lesbian. Here’s wishing you a happy day this weekend no matter how you punctuate it.

Save the Date – Blogging for LGBT Families Day Is June 1

Save the date: It’s that time of year again! On Wednesday, June 1, I will be hosting the 6th Annual Blogging for LGBT Families Day.
Over the past five years, hundreds of bloggers from around the world have participated, including lesbian moms, gay dads, bisexual parents, transgender parents, adult children of LGBT parents, LGBT individuals without children, and straight allies. Some bloggers told stories about their paths to parenthood, or tales about their children; some wrote about LGBT relatives or friends; others discussed current political events; and several spoke of why their faith obliges them to support LGBT rights. This year’s writings should be equally diverse and compelling.

Here’s how it works:

• Blog on a topic related to LGBT families on or before June 1, 2011.
• Complete the form at the bottom of this post to submit your entry. I encourage people to post on June 1; I am posting the form now in case anyone really wants to submit something early.
• I’ll compile the posts and highlight them here on June 1. Come back and read the stories and insights of our community and allies.

Additionally, you can:

• Tweet in support of LGBT families on June 1, 2011. Include the hashtag #lgbtfamilies. I will display the tweets in a scrolling box here at Mombian, or you can follow the hashtag using most popular Twitter software.
• Upload a video to YouTube or other video sharing service. Tag it “lgbtfamilies”. Complete the form at the bottom of this post to submit the permalink to your entry.

Any blogger who wants to support LGBT families is welcome, LGBT or not, parent or not. I encourage those who don’t usually post about LGBT families or LGBT issues, as well as those for whom every day is Blogging for LGBT Families Day. Give it a spin based on your usual blog topics. There’s no set formula or format. Photos and videos are also welcome.

The lists of contributions from 2010, 2009, 2008, 2007, and 2006 are still online for your perusal.

Please also grab a banner after the jump and promote the event on your site, Facebook, Twitter, etc. The more people who participate, the more impact our voices will have.

Read the rest of this post »