New Fertility Resources for Same-Sex Couples

(Originally published as my Mombian newspaper column.)

For same-sex couples wanting to have children, knowing where to begin can make a big difference. For couples starting their families through biological means, one new resource is the Family Building Options Web site, part of the Fertility Lifelines educational program created by pharmaceutical company EMD Serono.

Despite the corporate ties, there is no marketing of EMD Serono products on the site, and it provides some genuinely useful information for both lesbians and gay men, including a free, 24 page booklet with additional material. Endocrinologist Dr. Guy Ringler, a partner with California Fertility Partners in Los Angeles, is a spokesperson for EMD Serono’s campaign to raise awareness about fertility choices among same-sex couples. He shared with me some of his suggestions for those beginning the journey.

The first step, Ringler said, is to learn what options may be available to you. Aside from Family Building Options, he recommends the American Fertility Association’s site.

While not LGBT specific, the AFA site includes a directory of LGBT-friendly fertility professionals, and is clearly inclusive—one entry in the AFA blog is the video of Zach Wahls, a college student with two moms who spoke in support of marriage equality at an Iowa House hearing February 1. Read the rest of this post »

Weekly Political Roundup

• A U.S. House panel ordered the House general counsel to defend the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) in court, even though President Obama recently said his administration would no longer defend it.
• Members of the U.S. Congress introduced a passel of bills this week designed to protect students from bullying, and including explicit protections on the basis of real or perceived sexual orientation and gender identity: my coverage at Keen News Service.
• The Maryland House voted to recommit the marriage equality bill to committee, which likely kills the bill for the year. Equality Maryland put out a statement saying, “It is best to delay this historic vote until we are absolutely sure we have the votes to win.”
• A judge in Hennepin County, Minnesota dismissed a lawsuit from three couples that argued the state’s ban on marriage for same-sex couples violates their rights to due process, equal protection, religious freedom and freedom of association.
• The Rhode Island Senate Judiciary Committee held a hearing on a marriage equality bill. You should read this story of a Pat Baker, who is battling lung cancer and fighting for her spouse to have the right to collect her Social Security benefits when she (Baker) dies.

Around the world:

• With sympathies to all people in Japan affected by the recent earthquakes and tsunami: The Japan Times has an article today reviewing the state of LGBT rights and activism there.
• The European Parliament said Turkey and Montenegro must “ensure that equality, regardless of sex … or sexual orientation, is guaranteed by the law and effectively enforced” before it can join the European Union.

Stealing Lines from Glee: The Big Sex Talk

If you don’t watch Glee regularly, or missed it last Tuesday, get thee to the Fox Web site and watch it. Not only were there two—count ‘em, two—queer storylines, but they were handled with a sensitivity and honesty that puts most other shows to shame. (If you don’t believe me, go read Dorothy Snarker’s perspective on the issue.)

What struck me most, however, was not the storyline about the two female characters, as good as that was, but the big “sex talk” between the openly gay Kurt and his dad. (It starts at about 32:20 in the video.) It should be transcribed and disseminated to parents and youth far and wide. While parts were specific to being gay (not in a physical way, but in dealing with the emotional aspects of two men in a relationship), much was more generally applicable, focusing on valuing oneself at the same time as one gets involved with others.

Now, I’m usually pretty good with words, but I never will know exactly what it’s like to be a man. And while I hope my son has good men in his life that he can turn to for that perspective, I also don’t want to delegate responsibility for having “the sex talk” to anyone else besides my spouse and me. Sure, other people may add their insights, but we’re his parents and we have to lead the way. I’m thinking that when it’s time to have that talk with him, I’m going to call up that Glee episode on whatever technology we’re using then, replay that scene once or twice, and crib a few lines.

Did anyone else watch the episode? What did you think? And for those of you who have talked with your kids about sex already, any advice for the rest of us?

What Are Your Kids Reading?

Let’s talk about books. Not just LGBT books, but kids and young adult books in general. What are your kids reading now? Please share in the comments (along with their ages and/or grades, as a guide for others).

My second-grade son is very into the Diary of a Wimpy Kid series by Jeff Kinney. I’m ambivalent about the books myself—I find the humor a bit sophmoric—but I suppose that’s the appeal to the second-grade set. My son will sit and read them for a long time, though, so I can’t really complain.

He’ll also browse his LEGO Star Wars: The Visual Dictionary for hours. While there’s minimal actual reading there, he gets ideas for things to build and then has to figure out how to do so with the Legos he owns, sans instructions, since I’m not going to buy him everything in the book. Future Engineers of America? Who knows, but he’s having fun.

We’re also enjoying family reading with the The Chronicles of Prydain series by Newbery Award winner Lloyd Alexander. Yes, in many ways they’re “Tolkien Lite,” but they’re more digestible for younger kids, IMHO. We did read The Hobbit a while back, but I think I’ll save the full, dense, Anglo-Saxony Lord of the Rings goodness for when he’s a bit older. I like to think of the Prydain series as a nice warm up—although there’s much good to be said about them in and of themselves, if you like medieval fantasy adventures.

That’s us. How about your families?

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Say Uncle! My Uncle’s Wedding Is Cute But Redundant

There’s a new children’s book out featuring a same-sex couple getting married: Eric Ross’ My Uncle’s Wedding. ”Wait a minute,” some of you may say. “Wasn’t that book published a while back?” No, but a similar one about a same-sex couple getting married, Sarah Brannen’s Uncle Bobby’s Wedding, came out from Penguin Books in 2008. Therein lies the problem.

Both books feature a young child who learns that an uncle is getting married to his boyfriend. Both show the child helping the adults prepare for the weddings. Both of the weddings are held outside, with the child as part of the ceremony.

Ross told me in an e-mail that while he knew of Uncle Bobby’s Wedding, he has not read it himself. He also told me he was inspired by planning for his own wedding. I have no reason to doubt him, and I do not think there is deliberate plagiarism going on here. There are differences between the books, too: Uncle Bobby’s Wedding features anthropomorphic guinea pigs, with a young niece as the protagonist, whereas My Uncle’s Wedding shows cartoon humans, with a young nephew telling the tale.

At the same time, I find it incredibly disappointing that someone writing an LGBT-inclusive children’s book did not bother to study existing books in this genre, especially when they are relatively few in number. While new LGBT-inclusive children’s books are always a thing to celebrate, wouldn’t the LGBT community have been better served by a book that looks at a different aspect of our lives, or approaches it in a significantly different way?

Read the rest of this post »

Webcast with Bestselling Author Jodi Picoult About Her New Novel, Sing You Home

Welcome to the live, streaming interview and chat with #1 New York Times bestselling author Jodi Picoult about her latest novel, Sing You Home, the story of a lesbian couple and their attempts to have a child. The event will start at 7 p.m. EST.

The Webcast is part of the Literary Salon Series of Picoult’s publisher, Atria Books.  The interview, moderated by book reviewer Bethanne Patrick, is being broadcast from an event at New York City’s Andaz 5th Avenue Hotel to celebrate the novel’s release.

Atria Books also informs me:

Autographed books for purchase will be available before, during and after this web event by visiting http://bit.ly/SingYouHome.  $2 from each sale will be donated to Jodi’s charity of choice, The Trevor Project, the leading national organization focused on crisis and suicide prevention efforts among lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and questioning (LGBTQ) youth.

(I receive no fees from those sales and have received no compensation for promoting the event.)

For more details, a trailer, and book club discussion questions, visit the Sing You Home Web site.

Join Us Tonight for Webcast with Bestselling Author Jodi Picoult About Her New Novel of Lesbian Moms

I’m very excited to invite you to a special event here at Mombian: a live, streaming interview and chat tonight with #1 New York Times bestselling author Jodi Picoult about her latest novel, Sing You Home, the story of a lesbian couple and their attempts to have a child.

I’ll have a fuller review coming up in my Mombian newspaper column soon, so I’ll say little here except that I do recommend it, not least because Picoult avoids the clichéed “search for a donor” plot of most stories about lesbians trying to get pregnant. Instead, she takes a different approach, giving us a tale that deftly blends the personal and political. The book also includes a CD of original songs with words by Picoult and music by Ellen Wilber, who will be performing on the Webcast.

Join us here at Mombian tonight, Monday, March 7 at 7:00 p.m. EST for the Webcast, part of the Literary Salon Series of Picoult’s publisher, Atria Books. The interview, moderated by book reviewer Bethanne Patrick, will be broadcast from an event at New York City’s Andaz 5th Avenue Hotel to celebrate the novel’s release. There will be a chat window going, too, so you can share your own questions and comments.

Atria Books also informs me:

Autographed books for purchase will be available before, during and after this web event by visiting http://bit.ly/SingYouHome.  $2 from each sale will be donated to Jodi’s charity of choice, The Trevor Project, the leading national organization focused on crisis and suicide prevention efforts among lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and questioning (LGBTQ) youth.

(I receive no fees from those sales and have received no compensation for promoting the event.)

For more details, a trailer, and book club discussion questions, visit the Sing You Home Web site.

I hope you will join us!

Weekly Political Roundup

• The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that the Westboro Baptist Church, an anti-gay hate group, had a first amendment right to protest near the funerals of American soldiers killed in Iraq.
• U.S. House Speaker John Boehner announced he will convene a bipartisan meeting to determine how Congress can defend the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) in court.
• Several LGBT rights groups jointly filed an amicus brief in the Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals asking the court to lift the temporary stay preventing same-sex couples from marrying in California until the Prop 8 case is decided. The state attorney general has also asked that the stay be lifted. The court, however, refused a request from attorneys Ted Olson and David Boies that the next hearing in the case be moved up from September. Read the rest of this post »