LGBT Parenting Roundup

While you’re still yawning after staying up too late to watch the Oscars, here’s an extra-large, fully caffeinated dose of LGBT parenting news to wake you up:

Court Cases

• Heard this one before? Lesbian moms split up. Bio mom tries to keep nonbio mom from child. Custody battle ensues. Such cases are all too frequent—I may simply refer to them in the future as BNBCB cases, just to save myself some typing. The Arkansas Supreme Court recently ruled on one, upholding a trial court ruling giving visitation rights to the nonbiological mother. Laywer Nancy Polikoff notes, however, that the ruling still does not give the nonbio mom full parental recognition and rights.
• BNBCB cases aren’t limited to the U.S. A family court judge in Queensland, Australia, ruled that a nonbio mom had the same parental rights and responsibilities as her ex, the bio mom, and that the bio mom could not move out of state with the child.
• In a case with a twist on the classic BNBCB formula, an appeal court in Florida has yet to rule on a case in which the non-carrying mom donated the egg. The chief judge of the appeal court offered the confidence-inspiring comment, “I’ve never quite come across anything exactly like this before.” (It’s not really so groundbreaking—it’s the same method my own spouse and I used, though we were in New Jersey at the time.) Yes, although Florida now allows lesbians and gay men to adopt children, there’s still a long way to go before same-sex parents are treated fairly under the law. Read the rest of this post »

The Kids Are All Right–But Hear It from Them

Although it’s been nominated for four Academy Awards, including Best Picture, most critics feel The Kids Are All Right, Lisa Cholodenko’s film about two lesbian moms, their teen children, and their sperm donor, won’t take home any prizes tonight.

That’s okay. Whether it wins, or even if you disliked it (as many in the lesbian community did because of the affair between one of the moms and the donor), it has given us yet another opportunity to shine a positive light on LGBT families.

The Web site of Focus Features, the film’s distributor, includes the stories of three members of COLAGE, the national organization for people with LGBTQ parents. You can also view them on the COLAGE Web site. (While you’re there, check out the COLAGE DI Guide, with advice and perspectives for and about donor-conceived youth and young adults raised by LGBTQ parents.)

On a related note, HRC has launched We’re All Right: Kids of LGBT Parents Speak Out, a place for those with LGBTQ parents to submit and share videos about their experiences. Their headline video is the one of Iowa college student Zach Wahls, which I mentioned last week.

Will the movie—and the real-life stories shared as a result of it—help change hearts and minds? That remains to be seen. It doesn’t seem to have curbed the egregious use of “alright” in our society, but maybe that’s the fault of rock ‘n roll.

Weekly Political Roundup

A few little things happened in LGBT-related politics this week, hmm?

• The Department of Justice announced that it has concluded that the part of the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) preventing the federal government from recognizing legal marriages of same-sex couples is unconstitutional. The DOJ will therefore not defend it in two pending cases in the Second Circuit or two consolidated DOMA cases in the First Circuit. Sen. Dianne Feinstein (D-CA) and Rep. Jerrold Nadler (D-N.Y.) have said they will file bills to repeal DOMA. Republicans, at least so far, have been fairly silent, according to the New York Times.
• Ted Olson, lead attorney in California’s Proposition 8 case, announced that he is asking the Ninth Circuit U.S. Court of Appeals to lift a stay on a district court ruling that found Prop 8 unconstitutional. If the court agrees, same-sex couples could again marry in California.
• The Governor of Hawaii, Neil Abercrombie (D), signed the state’s civil union law. Couples can be united, civilized, unionized, or whatever the verb is starting next January 1.
• The Maryland Senate passed a marriage equality bill, 25-22. The House began debate on the measure today. Read the rest of this post »

Parental Rights and Why Right-Wing States Are Hazardous to Your Health

What a day yesterday, hmm? The Department of Justice says it won’t defend the Defense of Marriage Act. Not to mention that Maryland is edging closer to marriage equality (expect a final vote in the next day or two), and civil unions are now legal in Hawaii. (That is, the governor has signed the bill—it doesn’t go into effect until January 1, 2012.)

Equality marches on, but it hasn’t been and still won’t be an easy path. When you need a break from all the DOMA pieces flying around the LGBT blogosphere today, I hope you’ll go read two pieces I’ve written for Keen News Service recently that cover parenting-specific issues. The first, “Same-sex parents’ rights: It’s not Hollywood, it’s war,” looks at a number of court cases around the country, and the second, “Warning: Anti-Gay States May be Hazardous to Your Health,” at some new research showing that same-sex couples with adopted children living in states with anti-gay adoption laws and attitudes had more mental health issues in their first year of parenthood than same-sex adoptive parents living in more accepting states. It may seem obvious to us, but I’m all for backing up the obvious with science when necessary.

Oy, Gay: LGBT Jewish Children’s Book Writing Contest

Passing along this information from Keshet, the national organization for GLTBQ Jews:

Keshet, a national nonprofit that works for the full inclusion of GLBTQ Jews, just launched a Jewish Children’s Book Writing Contest. While there are many great Jewish books for kids, Jewish children’s books that feature GLBTQ families or characters are extremely rare. The winner of this contest will receive a cash prize and the possibility of being published by an major Jewish publisher. Details about the contest are here.

Do read the additional details—they note, among other things, “We’re not looking for a story about what it’s like to live in a gay Jewish family, but rather a book with one or more members of a GLBT Jewish family as the central character(s) in a great story. We welcome stories that show ethnic diversity as well as diversity of family structure.” Manuscripts are due by April 11, 2011.

And no fair ripping off existing LGBTQ children’s books, e.g., Heather Has Two Matzo or Uncle Bobby’s Bar Mitzvah. (Yes, I’m of Jewish heritage myself. I can make jokes like that.)

Mom Writes of Her “Pink Boy”

Here’s another must-read for your coffee break as you’re getting back to work after the holiday: Sarah Hoffman’s excellent piece for Salon, “My son, the pink boy,” in which she argues that her son is not “confused,” but Dr. Phil is. She concludes:

As social acceptance of gay people grows, it’s time to look critically at the lingering disapproval of things we once thought were precursors to gayness.

Because the problem ain’t Barbies. It’s bullies.

For more on gender variance and children, see also my post on the new children’s book, My Princess Boy, as well as these resources.

The Moral Wrongs of Homosexuality

In lieu of my usual weekly roundup of political events, please enjoy this video of Dr. John Corvino, aka “The Gay Moralist,” giving an incisive and funny talk on “What’s Morally Wrong with Homosexuality?”—the question that underlies all the politics and anti-gay attitudes.

Corvino’s answer, as you might guess, is “nothing,” but it’s how he gets to that point that makes this a gem. (Thanks, Queerty.) Happy weekend, all!

Video: Zach Wahls and His Moms

At the risk of overdosing you with Zach Wahls, here’s the Iowan teen talking with his moms and sister about the effects of marriage equality, the impact of having two moms, one mom’s struggle with MS, and his speech before the state House:

(Thanks to Let’s Talk About Marriage, a project of the Human Rights Campaign and Courage Campaign.)