Happy Kwanzaa!

A very happy Kwanzaa to those of you celebrating it this week. While the holiday is not a part of my own tradition, I do think there is much value in the Seven Principles of Kwanzaa. The world would be a better place if more people took them to heart.

Whatever you are or have been celebrating this season, may your home be filled with joy and light.

I Saw Mommy Kissing Mrs. Claus

A very merry Christmas to those of you celebrating the holiday! Don your . . . well, you know, and enjoy the time with your families.

I hope Rudolph (or, as we call him in our mutli-culti family, the shamash) and the team brought you all you wanted for the holiday.

Posting will be light here for a few days as we make merry.

Barney Forgot An Agenda Item

When it comes to acerbic wit among politicians, Rep. Barney Frank (D-MA) is second to none. His response to a right-wing reporter about the issue of “showering with homosexuals” in the military is priceless: “What do you think happens in gyms all over America? … We don’t get ourselves dry-cleaned.” (See it on video at Pam’s.)

And he issued a less flippant but more direct statement Wednesday in response to those who fear the “radical homosexual agenda.” That agenda, said Frank, is “to be protected against violent crimes driven by bigotry, it’s to be able to get married, it’s to be able to get a job, and it’s to be able to fight for our country. For those who are worried about the radical homosexual agenda, let me put them on notice. Two down, two to go.” (Video at YouTube.)

Love them fightin’ words—but he forgot one big item: to be able to become parents and protect our children.

Despite the incredible progress LGBT parents and our children have made over the past few decades, LGBT people may still have trouble accessing fertility, surrogacy, or adoption services, or be unable to secure legal rights for both parents in a couple.

Yes, we might gain some of those rights and protections through marriage equality, depending upon how state laws are written. But marriage is no longer a prerequisite for straight people to be recognized as parents, and nor should it be for us. Marriage and parentage are not coterminous.

Even if Frank is talking about specific legislation, I’ll remind him that the Every Child Deserves a Family Act, which would have withheld federal funds from states and other entities that discriminate against gay men and lesbians in adoption or foster care placements, did not make it out of committee during this session of Congress. Its fate in the next session, with a Republican-controlled House, is dubious, but I hope it is not forgotten.

Still, two out of three. It’s a start.

20 Years of Stories by Children of LGBTQ Parents

COLAGE, the national organization for people with one or more LGBTQ parents, has a great new video out chronicling the history of the organization and the first generation of COLAGEers—young people who were finding their voices and building a community of support and activism.

From the video: “We had these stories that as soon as there was any kind of space for them, just burst out of us. It’s not something that we consciously decided, ‘Oh this was a good organizing technique.’ The stories came first.”

Have a look:

If you’re looking for more information from the perspective of teens and adults with LGBTQ parents, try Let’s Get This Straight: The Ultimate Handbook for Youth with LGBTQ Parents, by Tina Fakhrid-Deen, for teens with LGBTQ parents (my review and author interview here), and Families Like Mine: Children of Gay Parents Tell It Like It Is, by Abigail Garner, for older teens and adults.

I am a member of the Amazon Associates program, and get a small referral fee from all purchases made at Amazon.com via links on this site. You are under no obligation to purchase through them.

North Carolina Supreme Court Says Second-Parent Adoption Not Legal

Just when I was starting to get all happy about the Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell repeal comes a court ruling that really pisses me off. The North Carolina Supreme Court ruled on Monday that a second-parent adoption by state Sen. Julia Boseman of her ex-partner Melissa Jarrell’s son was invalid. The ruling could jeopardize other second-parent adoptions in the state, which have been granted in at least two counties, according to the Associated Press (via Star News Online).

The judge granting the adoption waived the state requirement that a parent must give up her parental rights before another can adopt her child. That’s how second-parent adoptions are supposed to work, and do, in other jurisdictions. The legal parent does not give up her rights when the second parent adopts the child. Presto! Two legal parents.

But when Boseman and Jarrell split up, Jarrell claimed that state law prevents second-parent adoptions when one person is the biological parent.

The only small bit of good news is that the court upheld a lower court ruling allowing Boseman and Jarrell to share custody of the child, saying it would be in his best interest.

Thanks to Pam Spaulding for the tip, and for putting the story into the context of the politics in her home state.

Your Input Wanted: Ridiculous Questions About Lesbian Moms

A reader wrote to me and asked if I’d share the following question for your input. It’s a good one. Have at:

“What is the most challenging, ridiculous, offensive or just plain confusing question you and your family have ever been asked about being lesbian moms?”

Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell Is Dead

The U.S. Senate just followed the House and voted to repeal Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, the military’s ban on openly lesbian or gay servicemembers. As someone married to a former Air Force captain, and with lesbian friends still serving, I say, “Woo hoo!”

We still have a long way to go before same-sex partners/spouses of servicemembers have equal recognition and benefits (same goes for non-biological/non-adopted children of servicemembers), but today’s vote was the first and major step in the right direction. It should bring immediate relief (emotional, if nothing else) to lesbian- and gay-headed families in the military.

More analysis later, I’m sure. Off to celebrate now!

Weekly Political Roundup

• Don’t Ask. There’s no telling. The Senate vote on repeal of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell is scheduled for tomorrow. Servicemembers Legal Defense Network (SLDN) is planning to have service members sitting in the public gallery of the Senate chamber until the vote.
• Remember ENDA? Chris Geidner of Metro Weekly has a good article on what happened to the Employment Nondiscrimination Act.
• The U.S. District Court for the Northern District of California heard oral arguments in the case of Karen Golinski, an employee of the U.S. Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals, who seeks the same spousal health insurance for her wife that heterosexual spouses receive. Jennifer C. Pizer, Senior Counsel for Lambda Legal, said, “This case could result in the next major court ruling on the constitutionality of DOMA.”
• Rep. Patricia Todd (D) of Birmingham, Alabama—the only out legislator in the state— asked the very good question of whether a new ethics bill applying to members and their spouses would apply to her spouse. The two were wed in another state, but Alabama does not recognize marriages of same-sex couples.
• Freshman California Assemblymember Toni Atkins (D-San Diego), an out lesbian, has been named Majority Whip.
• Out lesbian Monica Marquez was sworn in as a justice of Colorado’s Supreme Court. The Denver Post has a nice story about her and her father, a retired state judge.
• Also in Colorado, State Sen. Pat Steadman (D-Denver) plans to introduce a civil union bill. Read the rest of this post »