“Off and Running” with Film About Adopted Teen of Lesbian Moms

PBS’ POV (Point of View) show is streaming three films about adoption through December 7—including Nicole Opper’s documentary Off and Running, which tells the story of Avery, an African American teen who had been adopted as an infant by two Jewish lesbians. She also has two adopted brothers, one who is black and Puerto Rican, and one who is Korean American.

Searching for her roots, Avery writes to her birth mother. The response shakes her emotions, and the crisis jeopardizes her future in college and track—but the ending is ultimately positive. Her adoptive moms don’t always come across as understanding—but there are lessons to be learned from that, too. The film raises some tough but important questions about family, identity, and race. You can view it free online here.

COLAGE, the organization for children of LGBT parents, is also partnering with POV’s ”This is My Family” contest, and encouraging people to send in videos of their family by November 15th for a chance to win an iPad or iPod. All families (not just adoptive) are encouraged to submit videos for the project. Here is a “This is My Family” video montage featuring COLAGE youth Nicole, Moshe, and Nate.

POV explains:

For most of us, the classic family photo with matching sweaters and look-alike smiles doesn’t quite capture our family.

POV wants to hear real stories about your family from you.

Send us your videos, and you might receive an iPad or an iTouch!

Who is your “family”? Maybe your family is your group of friends, or your extended family. You could be an adoptee, an adoptive parent, part of a single-parent family, be an LGBTQ parent or child or a member of a foster family.

Help us expand the definition of “family” by submitting a video – no longer than 5 minutes – to ‘This Is My Family.’ Check out user-generated videos for ideas, or create something completely new!

Today Show Interviews Moms of Boys Who Dress Up as Girls

A few days ago, I mentioned the post over at Nerdy Apple Bottom about a mom’s support of her son when he wanted to dress up as Daphne from Scooby Doo for Halloween—and a few weeks ago, I posted about the mom who wrote My Princess Boy: A mom’s story about a young boy who loves to dress up. The Today show interviewed both moms today, and it’s a nice treatment of what is often a sensitive issue.

Video after the jump: Read the rest of this post »

A Book for Siblings with Same-Sex Parents

A reader wrote to ask if I knew of any books for young children that discussed getting a new sibling—but which did not feature a mom and a dad for parents. Great question.

The answer is that (to the best of my knowledge) there is one, And Baby Makes 4 by Judith Benjamin. (Don’t confuse it with the several other books of the same title, or with And Baby Makes More, a great book of essays about queer families and known donors.) It’s self-published book that Benjamin wrote when she, too, could not find an appropriate book for her first grandchild about the pending arrival of a second.

It is very much a story about their family’s own experience, told from the perspective of the older daughter, with photos of their family as the illustrations. It may not fit all families—families adopting a second child, multiracial families, or families with a son, for example—but I think some of the first child’s feelings may be similar. And that’s less a criticism of this specific book than a reason we need more books featuring LGBT families of all types.

Have any of you found books about a new sibling’s arrival that is either inclusive of same-sex or single-parent families, or that focuses on the siblings and puts the parents enough into the background that it might work for more than just mom-dad families? Any good books for children about adopting a sibling?

I am a member of the Amazon Associates program, and get a small referral fee from all purchases made at Amazon.com via links on this site. You are under no obligation to purchase through them.

Weekly Political Roundup – Election Edition

Here are a few highlights from the surfeit of political news and analysis this week:

• David Cicilline (D-RI) became the fourth openly gay member of Congress, joining Barney Frank (D-MA), Tammy Baldwin (D-WI), and Jared Polis (D-CO), who each also won reelection.
• Lisa Keen writes about the more than 100 other openly gay candidates who won races across the country.
• Rep. Patrick Murphy (D-PA), sponsor of a measure to repeal “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell,” lost his campaign. Chris Geidner looks at what this means for the future of DADT.
• The three Iowa judges up for reelection who had ruled in favor of marriage equality all lost their races. Sterling Wong at 365gay.com looks at what the new composition of the Iowa legislature might mean for the chances of keeping marriage equality in the state.
• Chris Johnson takes a broad look at what the election results mean for LGBT rights.
• Jessica and Rachel K. at Autostraddle get right to the point and ask “So, How F*cked Are We, Exactly?“

Around the world:

• LGBT activist Clare Dimyon was awarded an MBE (Member of the Order of the British Empire) by the U.K.’s Prince Charles for “services to promoting the rights of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people in Central and Eastern Europe.”
• Italian prime minister Silvio Berlusconi said it’s “better to like pretty women than be gay.” No comment.

A Cross-Gender Halloween Costume, Bullying, and a Mother’s Support

If you have any interest in gender variance, self-expression, taking no nonsense from bigots, or a mother’s love, go read “My son is gay,” by Cop’s Wife over at Nerdy Apple Bottom. It’s an amazing piece, and well worth your time.

What happens when a five-year-old boy wants to be Daphne from Scooby Doo for Halloween? What assumptions will people make, what will he sense, and how will his mother respond?

Cop’s Wife nails the answer: ”My job as his mother is not to stifle that man that he will be, but to help him along his way. Mine is not to dictate what is ‘normal’ and what is not, but to help him become a good person.”

Go read the rest. You’re welcome.

“She Got Me Pregnant”: Episode 117

Helen and I discuss homemade Halloween costumes, an excess of candy, classic and new DVDs, and swapping parental roles.

Mombian: She Got Me Pregnant, 11-04-2010
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New Award for LGBT Children’s and Young Adult Books

Go librarians. The American Library Association (ALA) this week announced it will add an annual award for “English-language works for children and teens of exceptional merit relating to the gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered experience.” The Stonewall Children’s and Young Adult Literature Award will become  part of the ALA’s Youth Media Awards, which also include the Newbery and Caldecott medals and multicultural awards such as the Coretta Scott King Book Award. It also joins the original Stonewall Book Award (for adult readers) that began way back in 1971.

Since 2008, the ALA has also produced an annual Rainbow Bibliography of children’s and young adult books with LGBT content. (See my interview with the head of the Rainbow Project, Nel Ward.) The Bibliography aims to be a broad but selective guide for librarians, bookstore managers, and readers. It includes books chosen for quality as well as LGBT content, but is not as exclusive as the new award will be.

I probably don’t need to tell any of you how important it is to have stories that reflect our families. Both the Bibliography and the Stonewall award are encouraging signs that not only are there books out there, but there are also ones of sufficient quality to please a whole bunch of librarians. The first award will be made in January.

Happy National Adoption Month!

November is National Adoption Month, so I’ll be posting a bunch of adoption-related resources over the next few weeks.

I’ll start with the HRC National Adoption Month page, which has links to information for both prospective parents and child welfare professionals, along with news and event listings.

And because a Florida circuit court recently overturned the only law in the country that banned all gay men and lesbians from adopting, I want to point readers to Equality Florida’s contact page for people who want to adopt in the Sunshine State. They’ll help you get answers and/or find an attorney.

Of course, Mississippi still bans same-sex couples from adopting, and Arkansas, Michigan, and Utah ban unmarried couples—by definition, all same-sex couples in the state—so we still have a long way to go before children in all states have access to all the qualified adults who wish to provide loving homes—but Florida is a start.

Have you adopted or are thinking about it? Share your story in a comment or start a discussion on the Mombian Facebook page.