“She Got Me Pregnant”: Episode 115

This week, Helen and I talk about recent excursions with our son, including a kid-friendly art museum and a Lego extravaganza—but we’re bummed we didn’t get to go learn about gay pilgrims.

Mombian: She Got Me Pregnant, 09-30-2010
Uploaded by drudolph. – Discover LGBT videos.
(If the embedded video above doesn’t work, try it at Dailymotion.)

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Happy Banned Book Week!

It’s Banned Book Week once again—the American Library Association’s annual celebration of the freedom to read.

I’ll refer you back to the piece I wrote for Banned Books Week last year, “Penguins, Rabbits, and Guinea Pigs: In Celebration of Banned Books,” noting that LGBT-themed books continue to be banned or challenged, as a July case in New Jersey made clear.

The ALA’s list of books banned or challenged in 2009-2010 still includes And Tango Makes Three, although the book dropped to number two on the most-challenged list for the year. Stephen Chbosky’s The Perks of Being a Wallflower comes in at number three, also criticized for showing “homosexuality.”

It also includes Postcards From Buster, an early-reader version of the famous episode of PBS’s Postcards From Buster that featured a maple-sugar farm owned by a lesbian couple. President George W. Bush’s education secretary, Margaret Spellings, infamously attacked the show because “Many parents would not want their young children exposed to the life-styles portrayed in this episode.” (Clearly, watching people stick spigots in trees is damaging to young minds.)

As for the fact that Harper Lee’s classic To Kill A Mockingbird remains on the top-ten list—that’s just ridiculous. How on earth is removing a book about tolerance going to teach kids tolerance? Apparently, some parents objected to the fact that the book uses the n-word, To my mind, the book remains one of the best lessons against racism, and if it has to show (but then condemn) racist behavior in the process, that’s all part of the lesson. (And it’s also a sad statement that some parents feel so unprepared to discuss such matters with their children that they want the books banned.)

My favorite quote about banned books remains this one from Chris Crutcher, whose books have several times landed him on the ALA’s list of Top Ten Most Challenged Books (sometimes for homosexual content):

When we ban a book about a kid on the outside, we’re taking a step toward banning the kid.

He was speaking at the ALA’s 2009 Banned Books Week Read-Out in Chicago. (As reported by Sarah Brannen, herself on the list.)

After the jump, a few more great quotes from banned authors. Read the rest of this post »

President’s 2010 Family Day Proclamation Omits Mention of Same-Sex Parents

Small holiday that it is, Family Day 2010 slipped by yesterday without much notice. President Obama nevertheless issued a proclamation about it as he did last year. This year’s proclamation, however, omits last year’s mention of different family structures, including children being raised by same-sex couples.

Compare (in part):

2009 [my emphasis]:

Our family provides one of the strongest influences on our lives. American families from every walk of life have taught us time and again that children raised in loving, caring homes have the ability to reject negative behaviors and reach their highest potential. Whether children are raised by two parents, a single parent, grandparents, a same-sex couple, or a guardian, families encourage us to do our best and enable us to accomplish great things. Today, our children are confronting issues of drug and alcohol use with astonishing regularity. On Family Day, we honor the dedication of parents, commend the achievements of their children, and celebrate the contributions our Nation’s families have made to combat substance abuse among young people.

2010:

Parents across America balance demanding responsibilities at work with family needs, including valuable time spent with their children. America’s youth encounter difficult choices in their daily lives, and we must be there for them as they strive to succeed in school and resist pressures to use dangerous substances that can affect their health and limit their potential. Concerned and active parents and guardians play a critical role in keeping our children drug-free, and they can demonstrate by example how to lead a healthy and drug-free life. I encourage all Americans to visit www.TheAntiDrug.com for information and resources to talk with children and warn them against the perils of drug use.

Do we cut him some slack, knowing that his writer might have just been trying to avoid using the exact same phrasing as last year in order to keep the proclamation fresh? Earlier this year, Obama did make mention of lesbian moms and gay dads in his Mother’s Day and Father’s Day proclamations, respectively. And he remains the only president other than Bill Clinton to issue proclamations for LGBT Pride Month.

But at a time when he is under fire from the LGBT community for not acting more forcefully to halt military discharges under Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell (DADT) and for not generally being the “fierce advocate” he promised to be, you’d think he’d be doing all he could to show our community he hasn’t forgotten us. Leaving out a mention where he had one last year doesn’t seem like a good move.

Maybe Obama will make up for the Family Day lapse by being the first president to issue a proclamation in honor of LGBT History Month, which starts in three days. (And for those who argue, “One proclamation per year per interest group,” note that he’s already issued proclamations this year for Women’s History Month, Women’s Health Week, and Women’s Equality Day, as well as African American History Month and African American Music Appreciation Month. We could get both LGBT Pride Month and LGBT History Month without looking greedy.)

No, a proclamation doesn’t do as much as an executive order or calling on Congress to pass LGBT-rights legislation. But a fierce advocate shouldn’t overlook an opportunity to remind people that LGBT families are a part of the fabric of our society.

We’re Out, We’re (Becoming) Equal, and We’re in LA

Three lesbian moms, a transgender parent, and a gay dad walk into a room. . . .

No, it’s not the start of a joke, it’s the start of a discussion panel on LGBT parenting that I will be moderating during the Out and Equal Workplace Summit at the Los Angeles Convention Center. The parenting session, “Our communities, our careers and our families: Being an LGBT parent in the workplace,” will be October 6, 3:00 to 5:30 p.m.

If you’re going, drop me a note or just drop by the session! I hope to see some of you there.

Here’s the description:

In many ways, our stories as working parents are no different than those of our straight colleagues. Being a parent who is also lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender, however, has aspects that are unique to our community. Listen to a panel of LGBT executives discuss how they experience the issues facing all parents who work—and those of special concern to those who identify as LGBT.

I’m looking forward to talking with the panelists—Renee Brown of Wachovia, Michelle Smith of Boeing, Stacy Smithers of Wells Fargo, and Mike Syers of Ernst & Young—about their personal parenting stories and their experiences, good and bad, as LGBT parents in the workplace. What would you ask such a panel?

Old Riddle, New Answer

A father and son are in a car accident, and the father is killed instantly. The injured son is rushed to the emergency room, but the head surgeon says, “I can’t operate on this boy, because he’s my son.”

How can this be? Who is the surgeon?

See what people answered 30 years ago, and what elementary school students are answering today, in this fun but thought-provoking piece from ABC News. (Sorry, the video doesn’t seem embeddable.)

(Thanks, Ron.)

Weekly Political Roundup

Let’s start right in with the breaking news: U.S. Federal District Court Judge Ronald Leighton ruled that the U.S. Air Force should reinstate Major Margaret Witt, a decorated U.S. Air Force flight nurse who had been dismissed under Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell (DADT).

Other DADT news this week was more mixed:

• The Senate failed to break a Republican-led filibuster of the defense spending bill that includes a provision to end the military’s Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell policy. But Jim Messina, White House deputy chief of staff, told students at the University of Montana, “We’re going to get that done this year”—and David Plouffe, President Obama’s 2008 campaign manager, claimed Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.) has told senators, “we’ll do it in December,” so as not to hurt Republican turnout in the November elections.
• Meanwhile, progressive members of the U.S. House of Representatives, led by openly gay Reps Jared Polis (D-CO), Tammy Baldwin (D-WI), and Barney Frank (D-MA) sent a letter to President Obama asking him not to appeal the ruling in Log Cabin Republicans v. United States that says Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell is unconstitutional.

And in non-DADT news: Read the rest of this post »

LGBT Parenting Roundup

Lots of news this week in addition to the overturning of the Florida adoption ban.

Scholarly Stuff

• I’m not the only one thinking about known donors and three-parent families. Lawyer Ari Ezra Waldman takes a look at some of the same cases I mentioned plus a few others.
• Sociologist Philip N. Cohen writes at HuffPo about the Florida decision and about a recent study (which I wrote about here) that found children of same-sex parents make normal progress in school. The piece is notable for use of the terms homogamous and heterogamous, “trying to advance better language that avoids the term opposite-sex for men and women, who differ by degrees—and doesn’t presume men and women married to each other are heterosexual.” The terms also take the emphasis off “sex”—not a bad thing in terms of seeing queer people as more than just what we do in bed. I like them; what do you think?
• A new study by Arlene Istar Lev, Professor at the SUNY Albany school of Social Welfare, in the journal Family Process, “[questions] the heterosexism that pressures LGBTQ parents to prove their success as parents by producing heterosexual (read: normal) children. The research, steeped in heterosexist and heteronormative beliefs, assumes that if the children of LGBTQ people are gay or transgender themselves, it is a problem, a ‘failure’—revealing the ongoing bias against LGBTQ people.” Lev notes that while most children of LGBTQ parents are heterosexual, some are not, and says, “Gay parents (just like heterosexual parents) may struggle with having gay or transgender children, in a part because they identify with the obstacles their children will face, and in part because of the societal pressure they feel to raise ‘normal’ (read: straight) children.” It’s an aspect of LGBT parenting not often discussed—but it needs to be. Good stuff.

Fun Stuff

• Bay Windows columnist Jeff Epperley reflects on “Out in the Park,” the annual LGBT gathering at Six Flags New England, and the “remarkable . . . presence of so many children who seemed so happy to be surrounded by so many LGBT adults who not only seemed quite adept at having fun themselves in large numbers (without a police officer or drunken fistfight in sight), but who also seemed so ready to shower on kids the kind of attention that makes kids feel special in ways that kids need to feel as much as possible.”
• Those in the Massachusetts area may want to attend Plimoth Plantation’s third annual Out at Plimoth Plantation day this Saturday. Lectures on 17th-century LGBT history as well as lots of LGBT families running around. What could be more fun? (Confession: I’m a history geek.) I have more on the event at Change.org.

School Stuff

• The Durham News reports on the “Proud Apple Social Club,” formed by LGBT teachers in North Carolina, and on local LGBT-inclusive safe schools efforts.
• Columnist Dan Savage has launched a YouTube channel to send messages of hope to bullied LGBT youth. “It gets better,” he tells them. (Via Towleroad.)
• The Maine Human Rights Commission found that Orono Middle School unlawfully discriminated against a transgender sixth-grader by forcing the student to use a gender-neutral bathroom.
• GLSEN has released its 2009 National School Climate Survey. The study of 7,261 middle and high school students found that nearly 9 out of 10 LGBT students experienced harassment at school in the past year and nearly two-thirds felt unsafe because of their sexual orientation. Nearly a third of LGBT students skipped at least one day of school in the past month because of safety concerns. Things that helped? Having a Gay Straight Alliance (GSA) and an anti-bullying policy with specific protections based on sexual orientation and/or gender identity/expression. Read the rest of this post »

Florida Adoption Ban Struck Down

A bit of sunshine from the Sunshine State today. The Florida Third District Court of Appeals this morning upheld a lower court ruling that said the state’s ban on adoption by gay men and lesbians is unconstitutional, and that a gay man, Frank Martin Gill, can adopt the two boys he and his partner have raised for nearly six years. Gov. Charlie Crist (I) has said he will immediately stop enforcing the ban.

I did a piece about the ruling for Keen News Service, which you can go read it at Bay Windows. Information is still coming in with various parties’ reactions to the ruling and the chance of appeal; I’m sure I’ll have more to say on the subject.

For background on the case and its implications for adoption rights across the country, see my Keen News piece from July.