A reader left this as a comment, and I thought I’d give it more visibility to see if any of you can help. She’s searching for an LGBT-friendly midwife in East Texas. If you know of any resources or advice for her, please leave a comment!
My partner and I are planning on starting a family soon, and I have chosen to have a home birth. I initially thought it would be difficult to find a midwife in my area who would attend a home birth, because I live in a very conservative, relatively small-town area of East Texas. What I am finding now is that it is quite easy to find a midwife in my area, but the challenge is finding someone who is comfortable with and supportive of my relationship with my partner. I have looked everywhere for advice on how or where to find the right midwife for us, but so far I have found nothing. If there is any advice you could give me, or if you could just point me in the right direction to a helpful resource, I would appreciate it so much. Thank you.
I am not sure where in Texas they are, but the folks at we are fambly (http://wearefambly.wordpress.com) are in Texas and used a midwife. Not overly helpful, but maybe she’ll have some connections?
Hi there. I’m not sure where you are in East Texas. We are in Austin and used Michelle Fitzgerald who was just wonderful. I’m wondering if she might have some contacts and be able to give you a recommendation. Here # is 512-420-0971. Michelle’s assistant Kristin Elliot is now a full practicing midwife as well but she just had a baby a few weeks ago. I don’t have her phone # but I am friends with her on facebook and could get her a message if you needed another recommendation or anything.
I don’t want to post my e-mail in this message but perhaps Dana could pass it on if you need.
Good luck! I hope you find someone. We had a midwife and home birth for our second and it was just wonderful.
She might try posting the question in the queer parenting forum at mothering.com
I found my midwife there–got at-home IUIs out of the deal!
Hey there,
If you would like to email me privately at amelia@instinctivebeginnings.com, I’d gladly try to help you find a midwife.
I am a midwifery student from Minnesota, but I have a lot of contacts in the birth world and could definitely direct you in the right places.
I’ll add my two cents as an NP who has been around midwives for years (my mom was one too). I think you’ll find most midwives to be fairly progressive – they have chosen a profession that puts them at odds (in many circles) with the medical establishment. You may not be able to find a queer or known-to-be queer positive midwife, but definitely schedule some “get to know you” appointments with midwives in your area just to meet and have a discussion before you actually choose them to be your care provider. I think you might be pleasantly surprised.
Wow! Thanks to all of you for your useful tips (and keep ‘em coming if you have more). I knew you’d be able to help!
i used a midwife, but lived in dallas at the time. i will say that you should just come straight out with it and be honest. we made it seem like it was totally normal and our midwife really didn’t care.
i think for them, they are really wrapped up in delivering babies the natural way, that they really couldn’t care less about the sexual orientation of who is bringing about the naturally delivered baby.
good luck!
It is nice to see people helping and giving advice but i think it should be taken with care.
Good point–advice should always be taken with care. I don’t make any claim to endorsing any of the advice offered by commenters. Each reader must decide on her own what is right for her and her family.
So it just so happens that I’ve also been looking at midwives in East Texas! I’ve been looking as a queer midwifery student looking for a preceptor and not as someone who is considering starting a family, however.
Take a look at Laurie Fremgen and also Centre Vida Birth and Wellness Center. Laurie does homebirths and in the birth stories section has a stories by queer parents that used her practice here. Centre Vida lists recent arrivals complete with the names of parents – some of the entries list two female names.
I don’t know anything about these practices and haven’t talked to the midwives, but they might be worth looking into. I also don’t think that you can assume that just because someone is a homebirth midwife that they are welcoming of queer families. There is unfortunately a huge dearth of discussion about this in the midwifery community and some midwives are deeply uncomfortable with lesbian and queer parents. Trust your gut on this one, and interview more than one midwife before making your final decision.
Also, if you aren’t aware of MAIA Midwifery, definitely check them out. Kristin Kali runs the practice out in San Francisco (although she’s moving to Hawaii) and it is primarily a support system and classes for couples. She works almost exclusively with queer, lesbian, and trans parents and is the only midwife out there doing what she’s doing as far as I can tell. It might be worth getting hooked up with a support group of other parents in a similar situation to you.
Hello everyone, I am the poster of the above question. My name is Andrea, and I live in Tyler, TX. Dana, thank you so much for moving my question so that it would get more visibility. Thanks also to all of the rest of you who have offered such great advice and help. I’m really surprised at the number of responses this question has gotten, and I am thrilled to have new avenues to investigate.
Dana, I would like to speak to Debra, so if you could forward her e-mail address to me, that would be great. Amelia, thank you so much for the offer to help me find a midwife; I will be in touch with you shortly. Thank you for offering your time like that.
I’m sorry if I seem to be gushing, everyone, but I am just ecstatic to have found so many great people and such a wealth of information! Thanks again to all!