Turkey Basters: Not Just for Lesbians Anymore

(Originally written for my Mombian newspaper column.)

Sperm donors are in. The upcoming feature film The Kids Are All Right stars Annette Bening and Julianne Moore as lesbian moms whose children go in search of their donor. The new memoir Three Wishes is by three straight women who each almost—but not quite—used the same vial of donated sperm, but then passed it on to a friend. The New York Times reviewed Three Wishes (5/23/2010), in its Fashion and Style section, from which I can only conclude that sperm donors are the new “must-have” fashion accessory.

The NYT article also pointed out two other new movies involving straight women and sperm donors: The Back-Up Plan, starring Jennifer Lopez, released in April, and The Switch, starring Jennifer Aniston, due out in August. The original title of The Switch was The Baster. One can only wonder why they changed the name: Too obscure? Too lesbian-associated? Read the rest of this post »

What Loving Is All About

Today is Loving Day, a commemoration of the Loving vs. Virginia U.S. Supreme Court decision that legalized interracial marriage, and a day that “fights racial prejudice through education and builds multicultural community.” TIME has a good article with more on the case and its impact, and notes we now have a president who is himself the product of an interracial marriage. (Thanks to Karen of LGBT POV for the link.)

TIME doesn’t comment on the current battle for marriage equality, however. I”ll make up for their omission by quoting from Mildred Loving’s own statement of June 12, 2007, the 40th anniversary of the decision:

Surrounded as I am now by wonderful children and grandchildren, not a day goes by that I don’t think of Richard and our love, our right to marry, and how much it meant to me to have that freedom to marry the person precious to me, even if others thought he was the “wrong kind of person” for me to marry. I believe all Americans, no matter their race, no matter their sex, no matter their sexual orientation, should have that same freedom to marry. Government has no business imposing some people’s religious beliefs over others. Especially if it denies people’s civil rights.

I am still not a political person, but I am proud that Richard’s and my name is on a court case that can help reinforce the love, the commitment, the fairness, and the family that so many people, black or white, young or old, gay or straight seek in life. I support the freedom to marry for all. That’s what Loving, and loving, are all about.

Weekly Political Roundup

• The State Department announced it will now allow transgender people to receive a passport reflecting their new legal gender without requiring gender reassignment surgery. Certification from an attending medical physician that the person has undergone appropriate clinical treatment for gender transition is sufficient.
• The State Department also issued a proclamation in honor of LGBT Pride Month.
• The Justice Department has said that federal prosecutors may use the Violence Against Women Act in cases of interstate stalking and domestic violence involving same-sex couples.
• The Health and Human Services (HHS) Advisory Committee on Blood Safety and Availability has voted against recommending lifting the FDA ban on blood donation by men who have had sex with men.
• U.S. House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) said Congress wouldn’t vote on the Employment Non-Discrimination Act (ENDA) until after action on Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.
• Clarknt67 at Pam’s points out some serious concerns with the methodology used by the Pentagon’s Working Group on DADT to collect feedback from servicemembers.
• The IRS has issued new rulings stating that domestic partners in California must be treated the same as opposite-sex married couples, and each report half their combined income on their individual federal tax returns. California has community property laws, and treat couples this way for state tax purposes. Nevada and Washington do as well, although it remains to be seen if the IRS rulings will apply there as well. Read the rest of this post »

“She Got Me Pregnant”: Episode 108

Helen and I discuss out wild domestic lifestyle of camping, gardening, and playing video games with our son. What lessons can such activities teach kids?

(If the embedded video above doesn’t work for you, try it at Dailymotion.)

Brought to you in partnership with After Ellen.

LGBT Parenting Roundup

• Two French gay dads are having difficulties bringing home their twins, born through a surrogate in India. France does not allow surrogacy, and the French consulate is refusing to transfer the twins’ names to the French birth registry, a necessary step before they can obtain passports. A gay Israeli couple had similar problems last month.
• Two days after the publication of new findings from a major study of lesbian families here in the U.S. come the results of a new study of children of lesbian families in the U.K., conducted by the University of Cambridge for Stonewall, the country’s leading LGBT-rights organization. The U.K. study found, “Children reported that they were proud of their parents and felt their families were special, but often faced prejudice at school.”
• Iceland’s parliament approved a bill that will allow single women, same-sex couples, and heterosexual couples whose members both suffer from fertility issues, to use both donor eggs and donor sperm in IVF treatment. Previously, donor eggs could only be used when the sperm came from the father-to-be, and could not be used by single women or lesbian couples.
• The South Australian Parliament’s Social Development Committee will conduct an inquiry into the number, experiences, and challenges of gay and lesbian parents.
• Also in Australia, Sydney MP Clover Moore plans to introduce a private member’s bill to allow same-sex couples to adopt, even though the New South Wales Labor Government has said it will not initiate such legislation.
• And in Victoria, the the Rainbow Families Council has produced a new information pack about same-sex parented families to help early childhood centres, kindergartens, and the parents themselves.

On a lighter note, if you missed my tweet about it: Shoes for your sperm donor. (Or shoes to wear while you’re lugging the cryo tank up the stairs. Your call.)

Questions from Our Kids

Since we’ve had some great comment threads here about parenting issues lately, here’s another topic for discussion:

What’s the question from your child(ren) that you’ve found most difficult to answer (LGBT-related or not)? OR What’s the potential question that you are most anxious about trying to answer?

Leave a comment—or your advice for others about their kids’ questions. (For “Why is the sky blue?” I refer you here.)

Adoption Agency Seeks Lesbian Moms–But What About Gay Dads?

Every Sunday, the Boston Globe publishes “Sunday’s Child,” a column featuring a child or siblings who need an adoptive family. This week, the column (not yet online) notes that the child, “would do well with a single mother or a two-parent family (mom and dad or two moms) in which she is the only or youngest child.”

I had two thoughts, in close succession: First, how cool is it that they are actively seeking two-mom families? Second, why not also seek two-dad families, or single dads, for that matter?

Good question. Here are some of the answers I found. Read the rest of this post »

An Invitation, A Fridge, and a Known Donor

Many of you have participated in my recent giveaways of And Baby Makes More and the wonderful discussions they have generated.

Co-editor Susan Goldberg has asked me to invite readers to the official book launch tomorrow in New York. Hope some of you can make it. (I won’t be able to, unfortunately, being far away in Massachusetts.)

Date: Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Time: 7 pm – 9:00pm
Location: Bluestockings Bookstore
172 Allen St.
New York, NY

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I’m also pleased to present a guest post from Goldberg.

It got colder — that’s where it ends…
Susan Goldberg, Mama Non Grata

Ding, dong, the fridge is dead! And long live the fridge!

Okay, it’s not quite dead, but the Eaton Viking model manufactured sometime in the early years of the Reagan Administration that has been chugging away in our kitchen since well before we moved in is slowly dying. And we are more than happy to pull the plug. Read the rest of this post »