What Are You Doing for Summer Fun?

Time for this week’s discussion thread. Now that Pride is almost over and the hot weather is upon us, what summer plans do you have for you and your family?

Our son is in a few local summer programs for July, but we’re hoping to do family stuff in August, so I’ve left that pretty open. Our local rec department has a lot of events going on, though, so there will be plenty to do if we get bored. On our own, we’ll probably camp, bike, and play tennis. My tennis is weak, but our son has enjoyed the few lessons he’s had, so I’m determined to hit well enough to play with him. (Helen played varsity in high school, so she can take us both on at once.) Maybe it’s just that I’m used to sports that require major amounts of protective gear—fencing, taekwondo, rock climbing—or that I’m not used to playing sports with balls. (!)

I’m also hugely excited about my new road bike, which at least requires a helmet. (See picture.) I’ve always biked as ancillary training for other sports, but I’m starting to get into it now for its own merits. (I also have a low-end mountain bike for bumping around trails with the family.)

When we’re not being ridiculously active, we’ll probably be playing the new LEGO Harry Potter Wii game, which is just as much geeky fun as you might imagine. (And the fact that we bought it on the first day it came out tells you something about the general geekiness around our house.)

What are you all up to?

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New Guide Offers Insights for Donor-Conceived Children

(Originally published as my Mombian newspaper column.)

A long-running study of lesbian families created through donor insemination made headlines June 7 when it published new results showing that teens from these families tend to do better than their peers socially and academically. While these findings from the National Longitudinal Lesbian Family Study are positive, they risk blinding us to the fact that children of LGBT parents may still face certain unique issues and challenges. The COLAGE Donor Insemination Guide, launched just a few weeks ago, aims to address some of those concerns by sharing the perspectives and answering the questions of donor-conceived children.

The Guide was created by Jeff DeGroot, a 2009-2010 COLAGE Fellow who was himself conceived through donor insemination and raised by his two lesbian moms. It is aimed primarily at other “DI COLAGErs” in the fifth grade and above, but also at parents, prospective parents, teachers, and service providers.

DeGroot spent several months conducting focus groups, one-on-one interviews, and online surveys with LGBTQ parents who had used donor insemination and with the children themselves, who ranged in age from 11 to 37. The DI COLAGErs were a mix of those who had anonymous, known, and open identity donors. (Open identity donors agree to make contact information available when the child turns 18).

DeGroot found that most DI COLAGErs had certain experiences in common. “We’ve all had to think about what having a donor means to us,” he said in an interview. “We’ve all had to figure out that relationship and grow up with that relationship, and it’s probably evolved as we’ve grown up.” Read the rest of this post »

LGBT Parenting Roundup

Let’s start the week with a roundup.

Politics and Law

• Iceland’s Prime Minister Johanna Sigurdardottir and her partner, Jonina Leosdottir, transformed their civil union into a marriage Sunday as the country’s marriage equality law went into effect. Sigurdardottir has two grown sons from a previous marriage.
• A Wisconsin appeals court ruled that a woman seeking guardianship of two children for whom she had been a stay at home mother for years was “not a parent” under state law and could not be the children’s guardian. The children had been adopted by her now-ex partner, but not by her, since same-sex couples cannot adopt in Wisconsin.
• Nancy Polikoff highlights a case in West Virginia in which a co-parent was denied guardianship of the children she has been raising with her partner—children from a previous opposite-sex relationship and a father who was later convicted of molesting other children. The court said there were other legal means by which the non-legal co-parent could secure decision-making authority over the children. Polikoff notes that the court documentation did not use the terms “lesbian” or “same-sex couple,” making this a case that almost slipped our attention. How many other such cases might there be? Read the rest of this post »

Weekly Political Roundup

• The U.S. Labor Department clarified that the Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA) gives an employee who assumes the role of caring for a child the parental right to family leave—regardless of the legal or biological relationship.
• Secretary of State Hillary Clinton spoke at a State Department event commemorating Pride Month, and equated LGBT rights to human rights. Worth a read.
• The U.S. Supreme Court upheld a law requiring public disclosure of the names of people who signed a petition to put an anti-gay referendum on the ballot in Washington State—but opponents of equality may try again with a different approach.
• Pedro Segarra, the president of the Hartford, Conn., city council, is set to become the first openly gay mayor of the city following the resignation of the current mayor on corruption charges. Read the rest of this post »

What Did You Think of Gary and Tony?

Did any of you watch Gary and Tony Have a Baby, the story of two gay men starting a family, last night on CNN? What did you think?

There have been a variety of opinions about the show (even leaving aside the far-right nonsense)—but if you haven’t read them yet, I hope you’ll leave a comment with your own uninfluenced opinion. Then go read what others have said and let us know if anything has changed your mind.

I think it’s all healthy debate. I’ll write up my own thoughts on the show shortly—but I have a gaggle of rising second-graders coming over tomorrow for a birthday party and have to go bake a cake. In the meantime, please talk amongst yourselves. . . .

“She Got Me Pregnant”: Episode 109

Helen and I discuss how we can’t believe we now have a seven-year-old, and why our son’s birthday party means coming out to new neighbors. We also share the adventures in pond life around our house and how teaching science to kids doesn’t necessarily mean knowing the difference between a pollywog and a tadpole.

(If the embedded video above doesn’t work for you, try it at Dailymotion.)

Brought to you in partnership with After Ellen.

Here and There

Mombian is my first home for parenting-related matters, but I have also been writing on LGBT issues elsewhere. Here are a few pieces I’ve done round and about that may be of interest to some of you:

First, a couple that do touch on parenting:

• “Homosexuality, Porn, and the Classroom“: Children of same-sex couples should be banned from Catholic schools because they might bring pornography to school, argued Michael Pakaluk in The Pilot, “America’s Oldest Catholic Newspaper.” I offer my thoughts.
• “Gay Dads: Also Better than Straight Parents?“: Sure, the studies are positive, but is competitive parenting really good for our kids?

On a few other topics:

• “Vuvuzuelas for Equality“: And you thought there was no connection between LGBT rights and the horn everyone loves to hate.
• “Federal Departments Mixed in Promotion of LGBT Rights“: A panel of six LGBT activist leaders in April were asked to grade the Obama administration thus far on LGBT issues. I did a piece for Keen News Service looking at eight major federal departments and applying a similar grading system.
• “Fed partner benefits: The ‘pay-for’ hurdle“: When President Obama issued a memorandum extending certain benefits to the same-sex partners of federal employees, he noted there are still certain benefits he cannot extend under current law. But the legislation the president and many LGBT organizations are touting as a solution faces one big hurdle that nobody’s talking about.
• “Pride, Politics, and Power“: While more politicians, LGBT and not, take part in Pride parades, we should still be careful about how we evaluate the extent of LGBT political power.
• “When Ideals Collide: BP and LGBT Rights“: Just where can LGBT people fuel up with a clear conscience?

Gary and Tony Have a Study Guide: What Do You Think?

CNN’s hour-long profile of two gay dads, Gary and Tony Have a Baby, airs Thursday night at 8 p.m. ET.

In preparation, CNN has put together a study guide of “Before-Viewing Discussion Questions,” aimed at students in grade 11 and up. They include: “How would you define the traditional American family? Can you think of any examples of non-traditional families? What role, if any, do you think that these types of families play in American society?” and “In your opinion, what factors help shape people’s values? How do you think that values may influence relationships between people from diverse backgrounds?”

It seems like a pretty good set to me, but I’m wondering what the rest of you think, especially those who have led classroom discussions, workplace diversity training, and the like. Comments? Suggestions for teachers using the guide?

Trailer for the show after the jump. Read the rest of this post »