President’s Mother’s Day Proclamation Includes Two-Mom Families

From the President’s Mother’s Day proclamation (my bold):

Whether adoptive, biological, or foster, mothers share an unbreakable bond with their children, and Americans of all ages and backgrounds owe them an immeasurable debt. Nurturing families come in many forms, and children may be raised by two parents, a single mother, two mothers, a step-mom, a grandmother, or a guardian. Mother’s Day gives us an opportunity to celebrate these extraordinary caretakers, mentors, and providers who have made us who we are.

So how about supporting these families by pushing harder for ENDA, DADT repeal, immigration equality, DOMA repeal, etc.?

Still, this may be only a proclamation, with no real effect, but it would have been a telling statement if he had left us out. I’m glad he didn’t.

Reaction from the ultra-right in 3, 2, 1 . . . .

Weekly Political Roundup

• A U.S. District Court judge heard arguments in the first federal district court hearing to examine the constitutionality of the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA).
• Political infighting continues in the House around Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.
• Hawaii state representative Blake Oshiro, who brought the state’s civil union bill up for its latest vote, came out to colleagues in an effort to help the legislation pass. It apparently worked. The bill passed, and awaits the governor’s signature.
• Nickie Antonio looks likely to become Ohio’s first openly LGBT state legislator. She won the Democratic primary in a State House race that drew no Republican opponents. Read the rest of this post »

New York Custody Ruling Not What It May Seem

New York’s highest court ruled this week in a custody case that gave a non-biological mom the right to seek custody and visitation of the child she and her former partner had created and raised together. Great, right?

Yes, for that one mom. But the court said the non-biological mother only had that right because she and the biological mother had gone to Vermont to get a civil union, which gave her parental rights in Vermont that New York was obligated to respect. The court explicitly upheld an earlier ruling that allows only biological or adoptive parents to seek custody and visitation.

The expansion to civil-unioned couples is welcome, but more is needed.

For a closer look at the case, and what might be happening in New York to address these matters, see my article at Keen News Service.

“She Got Me Pregnant”: Episode 105

I’m missing Helen, who is away on business this week, but I use it as an excuse to discuss being away from one’s kids. And because Mother’s Day is coming up, I review a bunch of books and videos about LGBT parenting that would make great gifts.

(If the embedded video above doesn’t work for you, try it at Dailymotion.)

Brought to you in partnership with After Ellen.

Meanwhile, Over at Change.org . . .

As I’ve mentioned once or twice before, I’ve recently started writing for the Gay Rights section of Change.org, an “online hub for social change.” It gives me the chance to write about various LGBT issues not necessarily focused on parenting—though I may sometimes tackle parenting issues there as well.

Here are a few of the pieces I’ve done for them lately:

• Lesbian Travel Companies Give Back: Two travel companies help you cruise with a conscience.
• Make Way for Lesbian Swans: Because gay penguins aren’t enough.
• LGBT People on TV: Will The Real L Word Show Us Reality? And do we care?
• Florida Moms Target “Inappropriate” Books: With a little help from the ultra-conservative Liberty Counsel.
• A Greener Rainbow: A humorous look at LGBT ways of being green.

One of the best things about Change.org is that it lets anyone—writers and readers alike—create petitions for various causes that will generate e-mails directly to the people who need to get them: members of Congress, state officials, business executives, and more.

I’ve started two petitions myself: one asking the city commissioners in Lake County, Florida, not to concede to the segregation and labeling of books based on “inappropriate” content, and one in support of the Equal Access to COBRA Act, which would give same-sex partners the same access as married spouses to COBRA health coverage when an employee loses a job.

There are many other petitions in almost every area of LGBT rights, as well as in Change.org’s other sections, such as women’s rights, the environment, poverty, and more. Hope you’ll check it out!

Mother’s (s’) Day Discussion Thread

I’ve given you my ideas. What are your ideas for Mother’s (s’) Day gifts, as either giver or receiver, if you qualify? And how do you feel about this whole Mother’s Day/Father’s Day distinction if you identify somewhere in between?

Regardless of what or when you celebrate, what would you most like to have for breakfast in bed? (Food, people. I’m talking food.)

Mother’s (s’) Day Gift Ideas By and For Lesbian Moms—and Our Moms

There’s absolutely no reason Mother’s (s’) Day gifts for lesbian moms have to be “lesbian” themed. Flowers, breakfast in bed, an assortment of bath salts, a dual-speed cordless drill—all are perfectly appropriate no matter what mom’s orientation, as long as they are something she’d like.

Still, for those of you wanting something a little more lesboriffic, here are some ideas for your mom, your co-parent, or for your kids to get you: Read the rest of this post »

And Baby Makes More: LGBT Parenting Essays Now Available in U.S.

And Baby Makes More: Known Donors, Queer Parents, and Our Unexpected Families is a terrific collection of essays that belongs on every LGBT parent’s bookshelf, even if you did not use a known donor. I wrote about it last year when it first came out in Canada, and I’m pleased to say it has now been released in the U.S—just in time for Mother’s (s’) Day.

Below is the review I wrote for my newspaper column:

It Takes a Queer Village

The “gayby boom” is no longer news, insist Susan Goldberg and Chloë Brushwood Rose, editors of And Baby Makes More: Known Donors, Queer Parents, and Our Unexpected Families. “What is newsworthy,” they write in their introduction, “are the families and friendships that these babies have helped to create and that have, mutually, created them.” Rather than trying to show how queer families are “just like everyone else’s,” the book celebrates the variety of new and unexpected connections we create when we start our families in non-traditional ways.

Although the “known donor” theme unites the essays, they go far beyond the television cliché of two lesbians searching for sperm. The more than 20 authors include those who have used a known donor, those who have themselves donated sperm or eggs or been a surrogate, and the children created by these acts. They each explore what it means to be a family, the importance (or not) of biological connections, and the challenges of negotiating roles and responsibilities outside the traditional two-parent dyad. Read the rest of this post »