I’m fuming. Let’s review:
- A twelve-year-old Kentucky middle-school student with two moms was suspended from school for three days after she asked her bus driver to stop some other students from making fun of gay and lesbian people. When the bus driver laughed along and called the girl a “contradiction,” the girl called the bus driver a “jerk”—and was suspended. The Kentucky Equality Federation is calling for the termination or route change of the driver and an official apology from the school’s assistant principal. (Thanks, Pam.) Change.org has a petition up demanding apologies from the school principal and assistant principal.
- A two-mom family has filed a lawsuit against the Rio Rancho School District in New Mexico, claiming that their daughter’s fifth-grade teacher, because of bias against their family, did not let the girl go to the school nurse after a playground injury.
- A Roman Catholic school in Massachusetts withdrew its acceptance of an 8-year-old boy because he has lesbian moms. The Boston archdiocese does not have a policy that would prohibit the children of same-sex couples from attending its schools, said a spokesperson. In March, a Catholic preschool in Boulder, Colorado similarly told a lesbian couple their child could not return to the school next year—but in that case, the Denver Archdiocese supported the school’s decision. (For contrast, however, I recommend this essay in Commonweal magazine, in which a lesbian mom discusses her Catholic faith, her and her partner’s decision to send their children to Catholic school, and the welcome they received there.)
- Catholic churches aren’t the only ones at fault here. Cate and Elizabeth Wirth were told last December by a Vermont district director of the Boy Scouts that they could no longer volunteer for their son’s Cub Scout troop after it became known that they are a couple.
What’s keeping me from despair? Let’s review:
- My son is sleeping peacefully.
- We had a great time seeing How to Train Your Dragon today. (Lots of fun, though I thought the romance was unnecessary in a movie aimed at the younger set.)
- He made Mothers’ Day crowns for Helen and I at school last week.
It’s far from a perfect world, but there are moments of perfection in it.
Do you ever worry that it will happen to our kids? My son has been very lucky and has never been given any trouble. My next door neighbor has 2 very popular and nice children. After I came out to her and my partner moved in with me, she told her boys to look out for my son and to let her know if any of the kids ever bothered him on the bus or at school. Now my son is in high school and is still doing very well. I feel lucky but I am always on edge that something may happen.
Jan
We worry. We live in the least progressive province in Canada (we had a very serious gay-bashing in our city last month in which the responding officer didn’t bother to even interview witnesses or file a report – the lesbian attacked needed facial reconstuctive surgery). We knew we lived in a backward area, and were planning a move away, but the bashing (or rather the fact that the balance of public comments on local news sites were really homophobic and fell on the side of blaming the woman, not the young men who yelled “dyke” and “faggot” before knocking her unconscious, really rattled us). We definitely have a strong sense that the majority of people we encounter in our day to day lives are homophobic or at least ignorant. Our daughter is only 3 months old, but we’re planning a move to a more queer-positive city in the next two years so that she won’t have to deal with the ramifications of living in hicksville with lesbian moms.
I worry too. I’m fortunate enough to live in what is probably the most progressive Canadian province. My personal experiences have been good so far. With two kids in school system there have been no adverse experiences for either my kids or my partner and I. For Mother’s Day, for example, my kids each toted home two school-made mother’s day cards and gifts (my daughter told me that her teacher told her that everyone would get one box to paint except that she would get two because she was lucky and had two moms – which she then proceeded to paint with rainbows!)
BUT, having said all of that, I am painfully aware of the general attitude in North America, not to mention the rest of the world. I worry that the tide of public opinion even in my idyllic area could shift. I worry when crossing the US border. I worry when planning vacations abroad. I worry.
I worry too and have since the day my daughter was born. I can’t believe how much it changed my ououtlook on people’s opinions. Before having my daughter I didn’t care what people thought of me being gay or what I did with my life but with a kid you constantly want to protect that precious little angel so that they won’t get hurt by the world. I recently did an interview with an incredible 2 dad family and their 16-year-old daughter and she has had the most amazing childhood with great acceptance from all. It really inspired me and helped to realize that I need to have more confidence in the people around us. Check it out if you like http://www.thenextfamily.com/2010/04/life-with-my-dads/