LGBT Parenting Roundup

Personal Stories and Opinion

• Gay and Lesbian Advocates and Defenders (GLAD) is running a weekly series of stories about families harmed by the federal Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA). There are lots of families with children among them. This week they showcase Paul and Bob Ruseau, gay dads in Massachusetts. Worth a look, if only for the adorable family photo—but do read their story, too!
• The Washington Post profiled Rick Imirowicz and Terrance Heath, one of the first same-sex couples to marry in D.C. Also with adorable kid photos.
• “What Transgendered Parents Can Teach Us About Motherhood and Fatherhood,” gay dad and law professor Carlos A. Ball’s latest piece at HuffPo, is a thought-provoking article on gender roles and parenting. An excerpt:
  

  The case of the transsexual parent tells us, perhaps even more clearly than that of the gay or lesbian parent, that we have to as a legal and policy matter pay considerably less attention to the gender of parents. . . . We need, in other words, to think of “mother” and “father” as verbs rather than as nouns. We should focus on what it means to mother and to father a child, rather than on the sex of the parent who happens to be doing the mothering or fathering.

  Read the rest of this post »

Livin’ La Vida Papá

Unless you’ve been stuck in an elevator for the last 24 hours, you’ll know that pop star Ricky Martin has come out as gay. He wrote at his Web site:

If someone asked me today, “Ricky, what are you afraid of?” I would answer “the blood that runs through the streets of countries at war…child slavery, terrorism…the cynicism of some people in positions of power, the misinterpretation of faith.” But fear of my truth? Not at all! On the contrary, It fills me with strength and courage. This is just what I need especially now that I am the father of two beautiful boys that are so full of light and who with their outlook teach me new things every day. To keep living as I did up until today would be to indirectly diminish the glow that my kids where born with.

Martin echoes the sentiments of American Idol runner-up Clay Aiken, who said of his own coming out in 2008: “It was the first decision I made as a father. I cannot raise a child to lie or to hide things. I wasn’t raised that way, and I’m not going to raise a child to do that.”

Children inspire us in ways we may not foresee. How have yours done so?

CBS Profiles Lesbian Moms Discharged Under DADT

When Army medic Sgt. Lacye Presley first met CBS News Correspondent Kimberly Dozier, Presley helped keep the reporter alive when her CBS News team was hit by a car bomb in Iraq. She was awarded a Bronze Star for her actions that day. Later, she was discharged under Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.

Dozier followed Presley’s story and interviewed her in the home she shares with her partner, Army Sgt. Holly Tomson. Tomson had been NCO of the Year, and had also been discharged under DADT. Presley was visibly pregnant at the time.

Now, Presley and Tomson have a baby girl. Dozier uses their story as a focal point for this CBS News video about DADT. Worth a look. (It also begs the question of spousal and child benefits for gay and lesbian servicemembers, if DADT is repealed—an issue I’ve been writing about for some time now and which seems to be catching other people’s attention as well.)

Video after the jump. Read the rest of this post »

Fighting the Schoolyard Battles

Go read “Beyond the straight and narrow” by Australian lesbian mom Jaqueline Tomlins, about how she and her seven-year-old handled schoolyard teasing about their family. It’s one of the most thoughtful pieces on the topic that I’ve read—and I’ve read quite a few. (Written some myself, in fact.)

Happy Monday!

Wanted: Teens with LGBT Parents

Posting another academic study request, this time for research on teens with LGB parents. This one has a personal tone for me, not because I have teens (my son is six), but because I’ve interviewed the lead researcher, Abbie Goldberg, about her latest book on LGBT parents and on some earlier research about lesbian and bisexual mothers. She’s been helpful for a few other pieces I’ve written, too, whenever I need specifics on some bit of psychological research. Please help her out in turn!

Listening to the Missing Voices of Teens/Young Adults with Lesbian / Gay / Bisexual Parents – Perspectives on Marriage Equality

We are looking for participants for a project exploring the perspectives of adolescents and young adults with lesbian, gay, and bisexual parents. This study will recruit individuals between the age of 14 and 25 who have LGB parents, in an effort to gain their perspectives on marriage equality. We are interested in recruiting participants from various backgrounds/family situations, such as those whose parents have obtained civil unions, civil marriage, and domestic partnerships, as well as those whose parents have been unable or unwilling to obtain these types of partnership recognition. We are interested in learning about how youth and young adults have been impacted by marriage equality and marriage inequality, as well as their general opinions on this topic.

If interested, please contact Abbie Goldberg, Ph.D., Professor of Psychology at Clark University agoldberg@clarku.edu, or 508-793-7289. Participants will complete confidential telephone interviews (approximately 30 minutes to one hour) with Dr. Goldberg or a trained graduate research assistant.

Dr. Goldberg is the author of Lesbian and Gay Parents and their Children: Research on the Family Life Cycle, a book that was published by APA in September of 2009. At http://www.clarku.edu/faculty/goldberg you can see a sample list of her publications.

Weekly Political Roundup

• Secretary of Defense Robert Gates announced a plan for making enforcement of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell “more humane and fair.” Servicemembers will no longer be dismissed if they are involuntarily outed by a third party.
• Three—count ‘em, three—U.S. representatives have introduced separate bills in the past week designed to protect LGBT people from discrimination in housing. Here’s my piece for Keen News Service on the matter.
• Sen. Barbara Boxer (D-CA) introduced a bill to ensure that domestic partners currently covered by employer health plans have access to COBRA benefits—employer-provided health insurance for a limited period after leaving a job or other qualifying event.
• Midge Costanza, the first woman to hold the office of Assistant to the President of the United States (to President Carter), died this week. In 1977, she invited openly gay people to the White House for the first time. Karen Ocamb has a profile with more about this pioneering woman. Read the rest of this post »

“She Got Me Pregnant”: Episode 102

Helen and I look at several Showtime hits and ask: “Who’s a better mother: Jackie Peyton, Tara Gregson, or Nancy Botwin?” We also share what President Obama wrote to our son about health care reform, and I discuss my own early experience writing to the White House.

Mombian: She Got Me Pregnant, 03-25-2010
Uploaded by drudolph. – Watch more LGBT videos.
(If the embedded video above doesn’t work for you, try it at Dailymotion.)

Brought to you in partnership with After Ellen.

Constance McMillen and Her Lesbian Mom

By now, you would have to have been living on another planet not to know the story of Constance McMillen, whose Mississippi high school canceled its prom after she told officials she wanted to bring her girlfriend and wear a tux.

What most news channels have missed, however, is that Constance’s mother is also a lesbian. Constance mentioned this in passing to Michaelangelo Signorile during an interview for his show on OutQ Sirius radio. (Thanks to the attentive women at Autostraddle for picking up on it.)

Does this matter? Read the rest of this post »