LGBT Parenting Roundup

Personal Stories

  • The Iowa Press-Citizen profiles Iowans Dawn and Jen BarbouRoske, who talk about their 19-year relationship, their new legal marriage, and their children. Both the women and their two children—at the children’s urging—were plaintiffs in the case that won marriage equality in the state. The article gives us our Quote of the Week:

    More than anything, Dawn and Jen say this fight has been about their children.

    “That’s been big for us; to show the kids to stand up for who you are,” Jen said.

Politics and Law

  • Lesbian mom Annise Parker was sworn in as mayor of Houston, Texas.
  • Amanda Simpson started work as Senior Technical Advisor in the Bureau of Industry and Security. She is the second transgender person ever to receive a presidential appointment to an executive branch post. (Dylan Orr, in the Department of Labor, was the first, shortly before Simpson.) Why mention that here? Simpson is also parent, with a 13-year-old son.
  • A New Jersey judge ruled that a gestational surrogate (someone who used another woman’s egg) is the legal mother of the twins from the surrogacy. She had been carrying the babies for her brother and his partner, but now says she was coerced into doing so. The ruling gives her the right to seek primary custody of the children.The court ruled in large part because of the precedent of the 1988 “Baby M” case, in which the state Supreme Court said the state could not terminate a woman’ maternal right against her will. Interestingly, that ruling came into play when Helen and I started our family. We used my egg, but she carried it, making her in effect the gestational surrogate, although the term “surrogate” didn’t really apply—she intended to be a parent to the child. Nevertheless, she was the legal parent and we had to petition the court to name me a parent as well. The good news is that we were able to do so before our son was born, so I had legal authority from moment one, in case, heaven forbid, anything happened to Helen. These days, New Jersey will recognize the parental rights of two women in a civil union from the beginning without the need for that—although LGBT legal experts still recommend getting an adoption or court order anyway to cover you in other states.
  • The sister of Frank Schubert, one of the masterminds behind Prop 8, is in fact a lesbian mom. Anne Marie Schubert is a deputy district attorney for Sacramento, and running to be a Sacramento County Superior Court judge. She’s also a Republican. Without knowing much about her personal politics, I’m envisioning the Schubert family giving the Cheneys a run for their money in conflicted family conversations.
  • Note: I’m not ignoring the headline custody case of Janet Jenkins and her ex-partner Lisa Miller. I’m writing a piece about it for another venue. Stay tuned for a link.

Schools and Youth

  • Only the despicable Fred Phelps and his rabidly anti-LGBT Westboro Baptist Church would demonstrate outside high schools in New Hampshire to protest the state’s new marriage equality law. Nice to see some New Hampshire churches turning out in peaceful opposition.

Resources

  • The group Ethica, “an independent voice for ethical adoption,” has published Navigating LGBT Adoptions, a new, free guide for LGBT people building their families through adoption. It was made possible through a grant from the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender & Straight (LGBT&S) Alliance Fund of Southern Arizona.
  • The journal Human Reproduction has published a new study on the experience of pregnancy loss among lesbian and bisexual women in the U.K., U.S., Canada, and Australia. (Thanks, About.com!) Among the conclusions:

    Health professionals should not de facto assume patients are heterosexual, they should demonstrate awareness and sensitivity to women’s relational contexts, and ensure that same-sex partners are acknowledged and actively included. More procedural changes include the alteration of forms in clinics and maternity services so that the gender of partner is neutral rather than male. . . .

    As non-heterosexual women’s pregnancies are more likely than heterosexual women’s to have involved lengthy planning and resources and be wanted, health professionals should be especially empathetic and supportive, even in the case of early miscarriage or biochemical pregnancy loss. . . . Finally, lesbian couples, single lesbians and other single and coupled non-heterosexual women should be made more visible in both the academic and lay literatures on reproductive health and pregnancy loss, and their experiences should be disaggregated from implicit or explicit “married heterosexual women’s responses to pregnancy loss.”

Entertainment and Fun

  • Rosie O’Donnell has a new girlfriend, Tracy Kachtick-Anders, an artist and mother of six.
  • The lesbian albatrosses I mentioned a few weeks ago are seeking a name for their soon-to-hatch chick—or at least a New Zealand tourism agency is. Suggestions should be forwarded to Heather Mollins at Tourism Dunedin (hmollins@tourismdunedin.co.nz).
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