Weekend Reading: Reaching Across the Lines

Two stories caught my eye today that show the value of making personal connections, even when the barriers between people seem insurmountable. They make a good pair of pieces for weekend reading.

One is Steven Goldstein’s piece at Blue Jersey, which I mentioned in my Political Roundup this week. Steven is the chair of Garden State Equality, which is now on the front lines of the marriage equality battle. He tells us not of an organizational initiative, however, but a very personal conversation with a member of the Hasidim, the ultra-orthodox Jewish community. They were protesting GSE’s rally and lobby day for marriage equality—but the conversation is not what you’d expect.

The other piece is by actor and lesbian mom Cynthia Nixon at HuffPo. She writes of lobbying New York State Senator Ruth Hassell-Thompson, who told her that she was going to vote “no” on marriage equality because of her deep religious belief that marriage should be between a man and a woman. Nixon writes that Hassell-Thompson nevertheless considered not only the opinions of the many constituents who contacted her, but also several very personal matters. In the end, Hassell-Thompson voted yes. I won’t spoil Nixon’s narrative by giving too many details here, but you should go read.

Weekly Political Roundup

First, the story that should be making the most headlines next week:

A New Jersey Senate committee will consider a marriage equality proposal on Monday. The proposal could be posted for a full senate vote later in the week.

Steven Goldstein, the indefatigable chair of Garden State Equality, has been doing a heroic job of organizing supporters and lobbying politicians. In this piece at Blue Jersey, however, he writes of a very personal moment in the struggle for equality. It’s well worth a read, and doubly so because Hanukkah starts next week.

U.S. National News

• It looks like the Employment Nondiscrimination Act (ENDA) is dead for the year, although Jillian Weiss at Bilerico says you should still call the House Committee to get it moving again. She also offers her thoughts on why the bill hasn’t yet gone through, opining that there has been too much focus by both the media and activists on marriage battles, to the detriment of other rights.
• David Huebner was sworn in by Vice President Joe Biden as the U.S. Ambassador to New Zealand. Huebner is the first openly gay person to be nominated to an ambassadorship in the Obama administration, but the third gay man to hold such a post in U.S. history. James Hormel served as U.S. ambassador to Luxembourg during the Clinton administration, and Michael Guest was appointed by President George W. Bush as U.S. ambassador to Romania. Both Elizabeth Huebner, David’s mother, and Dora McWaine, the mother of Huebner’s spouse Duane McWaine, attended. Vice President Biden led both moms to their seats.
• Congressman Alcee Hastings (D-FL) introduced a bill to allow gay and lesbian servicemembers to testify at Congressional Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell hearings without jeopardizing their military careers. The bill also protects straight troops from retaliation. Read the rest of this post »

Alameda Diversity Curriculum Is Not Health Ed; Parents Can’t Opt Out Their Kids

Many of you followed last spring’s story about the uproar by some conservatives when the Alameda, California school board decided to adopt an LGBT-inclusive safe-schools curriculum. Now comes a new ruling stating that because the diversity curriculum doesn’t constitute health education, parents cannot opt their children out of it. Finally, a glimmer of understanding that teaching about LGBT people and families doesn’t mean teaching about sex.

The ruling comes in response to a group of parents who filed a lawsuit over the district’s refusal to excuse their children from attending the classes. The parents are supported by the conservative Pacific Justice Institute.

On Tuesday, Alameda County Superior Court Judge Frank Roesch tentatively denied the parents’ request. He said the lessons don’t constitute health education, as the parents are arguing, and thus don’t fall under the state legislature’s has opt-out rules related to health lessons. John Knox White has details of the proceedings over at Stop, Drop and Roll. He reports that Judge Roesch was persistent in trying to pin down Kevin Snider, the Pacific Justice Institute’s General Counsel, on exactly how anti-bullying education is a part of Health Education: Read the rest of this post »

“She Got Me Pregnant”: Episode 92

Helen and I discuss the second volume of LGBT parenting essays to come out of Canada this year, one that explores the many new and unnamed family connections that are created when one uses a known donor. We also offer some advice and suggestions for those buying gifts for children (or their parents) this season. (We made the podcast with our After Ellen viewers in mind, who are less likely to be parents themselves than those of you reading here. If you have your own ideas for kids’ (or parents’) gifts, please leave a comment.)

(If the embedded video above doesn’t work for you, try it at Dailymotion.)

Brought to you in partnership with After Ellen.

If We Can Make It There . . .

. . . but we couldn’t. The New York State Senate failed to pass a marriage equality bill yesterday on a vote of 24-38. Not even close.

Never mind that the state has one of the biggest meccas of LGBT life in the country, and is home to the Stonewall Inn, the place where the LGBT revolution began. Never mind that the state will recognize same-sex couples who marry in other states. There’s no getting around it—this is a major loss.

The only good thing is that I hope this will give motivation to New Jersey to pass its own marriage equality law in the near future, before the anti-gay Chris Christie takes over as governor from the pro-equality Jon Corzine. What’s up with two football teams being based in New Jersey but being labeled “New York”? Show some independence, New Jersey.

I’ve lived and worked in New York before. New Jersey, too, for that matter. Right now, however, I’m thinking about the ways in which my current home, near Boston, is so much better than the Empire State:

• Real clam chowder
• Real baseball team (Yes, I know, the Yankees won the World Series this year. But they’re just so corporate and unlovable. And the Mets, bless their Brooklyn ancestors that match my own, have always been overshadowed by the Yanks.)
• Marriage equality

Come on up to Massachusetts for your weddings, New Yorkers. Let’s show your Senators how much money their state is losing by not enacting equality. Yes, you could make the shorter drive to Connecticut, too, but southwestern Connecticut is still Yankees territory. Go back from your wedding wearing Red Sox hats, though, and keep the pressure on.

I jest, because it’s keeping me from despair. On a more practical note, however, New Yorkers should call their state senators to thank them or chastise them for their votes. Here are the ones who voted against equality: Read the rest of this post »

Welcome to New Lesbian Mom Meredith Baxter!

Family Ties actor Meredith Baxter has just come out publicly as a lesbian. Actually, the signs were there earlier, when she joined Sweet’s new lesbian cruise last month and attended the Dinah lesbian festival in Palm Springs last year. She came out to herself and her family seven years ago, reports the Advocate, which is now running her first interview with the LGBT press.

The 62-year-old no longer has children at home, but she is the mother of five and a lesbian, so let’s give her a big welcome into our community of lesbian moms!

LGBT Parenting Roundup

Just to mix things up, let’s start with some news from the Commonwealth of Nations:

• Celia Hannon of the U.K.’s Guardian weighs in on the debate about the merits of lesbian parents vs. straight parents. Her take on the matter is similar to mine, which is that the whole debate about which sexual orientation makes one a “better” parent is rather pointless. “There is nothing about someone’s sexuality that predetermines their skill as a parent. What matters is how you parent, not who you sleep with,” she says. She also gives us what I’m going to designate the Quote of the Week:
  

  The past 50 years have seen us remodel the family as step-families and single parenthood have become commonplace, and women have chosen to have children later and remain in the labour market after doing so. This has been accompanied by profound shifts in our views on what good parenting looks like. The rise of gay families is a part of the next chapter of this change, and it should not be provocative to suggest that there might be things to learn from alternative approaches to parenting and kinship. . . . Some parents are gay and we should get used to it so we can get on with the job of helping all parents raise their children as well as possible.

  Read the rest of this post »

World AIDS Day

Today is World AIDS Day. AIDS has impacted many people we know and many communities of which we are part. Since this is a parenting blog, however, I want to do what I have done in previous years, and highlight some recent statistics about AIDS and children. The numbers, of course, don’t capture the personal stories, the parents who must watch their children die, and the children left orphaned, but the data is devastating in its own way:

• According to UNAIDS estimates, there are now 2.1 million children under 15 among the 33.4 million people living with HIV. The number and percentage of children is down from last year (2.5 out of 33.2 million), but is still a staggering number.
• In 2008, around 430,000 children were born with HIV from mother-to-child transmission (MTCT). [The international AIDS charity Avert notes that about 90% of the MTCT infections occurred in Africa, "where AIDS is beginning to reverse decades of steady progress in child survival." They have a great page of information about MTCT, covering prevention, care, and various initiatives. Well worth a read.]
• In 2008, only 38% of children in need of treatment in low-and middle income countries received it.
• Young people (under 25) account for around 40% of all new adult (15+) HIV infections worldwide.
• Sub-Saharan Africa is the region most affected and is home to 67% of all people living with HIV worldwide and 91% of all new infections among children.
• In sub-Saharan Africa the epidemic has orphaned more than 14 million children.

After the jump, a slide show from UNAIDS with more sobering statistics. Read the rest of this post »