In what the Vermont Rutland Herald is calling “a first-of-its kind parent custody change,” Judge William Cohen of the Rutland Family Court yesterday granted sole custody of 7-year-old Isabella Miller to her non-biological mother, Janet Jenkins. Jenkins has been fighting her former partner Lisa Miller for visitation for years now. Miller says she is no longer a lesbian and has enlisted the far-right Liberty Counsel to argue her case.
Now, the court has ruled in favor of full custody for Jenkins, even though she had earlier been willing to have only visitation rights, because of Miller’s continued refusal to allow Isabella even to visit Jenkins. Miller only brought her to see Jenkins twice in the last two years. The Rutland Herald reports:
“In the long term, the change in custody will be in (Isabella’s) best interests as she will have the opportunity for maximum continuing physical and emotional contact with both parents,” [Judge Cohen] said, adding that both parents were equal in terms of stability, financial resources, emotional availability and other considerations required for child rearing.
Where they weren’t equal, he said, was in their willingness to work together. While Miller has repeatedly and consistently blocked Jenkins’ access to Isabella, the judge said Jenkins has agreed to allow Miller access and would allow Isabella to continue to attend church events with her other parent.
Although Miller’s lawyer says they will appeal, Carl Tobias, a professor of law at the University of Richmond, says he doesn’t believe courts in either Vermont or Virginia (where Miller had tried to get the courts to rule in her favor) will overturn yesterday’s decision, as courts tire of people litigating when they have no valid case.
Let us hope for Isabella’s sake that this spells the end of the matter. May she finally settle into a routine, living with the one parent who, with amazing compassion and understanding, will allow her to have access to both of the parents whom she loves.
Let us hope, too, that the many other capable and loving non-bio mothers will soon no longer have to argue for the rights to continue parenting the children they have helped raise. Although this case may set no formal precedent in other states, I think it is a good sign (as are other recent decisions) that sentiment is changing.
Thanks for blogging about this. Wow, I’m so glad it’s finally over and that justice (and I think probably the best interests of this child) was served.
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I would get so angry every time I read about this. Lisa acted so self-righteous throughout this whole custody battle. Enough is enough and I’m thankful that a judge made this decision in the best interest of the child.
I am so thrilled for Janet and Isabella. I can imagine how happy that reunion was.
“Let us hope for Isabella’s sake that this spells the end of the matter. May she finally settle into a routine, living with the one parent who, with amazing compassion and understanding, will allow her to have access to both of the parents whom she loves.”
I couldn’t have said it better myself.
And cheers to a court that finally recognises that biology is NOT everything!!
Thanks for the update, Dana–somehow I’d missed this in our local news.
More evidence of the importance of good state-level laws: if Isabella had been born in Virginia, these court decisions would have turned out totally differently. Which is more evidence of the infuriating state of the legal reality of queer families in the US these days, too.
Oh, good point about state laws, Susan. I’m all for states’ rights when it comes to certain matters, but when there’s more recognition for an out-of-state driver’s license than a family, something is very wrong.
I hope that teaches mothers to have children without any partners. You risk your life and health, destroy your body and someone who had nothing to do with the pregnancy or birth can rip the child away. Take this as warning, women who want children, involve no one except a sperm donor.
I wish this could be the end of their custody struggle. Unfortunately, however, Lisa has behaved so badly throughout this battle that I fear she will pull something even more drastic as a result of this ruling. All I can say is, thank goodness for the federal anti-kidnapping statute that made the Virginia courts in this case back down in favor of Vermont in the first place, and here’s hoping that Janet doesn’t have to depend on that statute again here, for any other reasons.
this is just totally heartbreaking. I can’t even imagine what tearing this child away from her mother to a new home will do, regardless of who is waiting there for her. Isabella seems to be the one who is really suffering. Six years of a court battle. Just shocking and appalling that this child was used as a tug of war
I’ve read the court’s ruling and posted about it on my blog, so you can go there for more details. There is no doubt that the change in custody will be a big adjustment for Isabella. But if judges reward parents who behave badly by letting their contemptuous actions lead to eradicating a child’s other parent, then it will be open season on flaunting court orders. Isabella has two parents. She is no different from the child of a heterosexual married couple, conceived with donor semen. I applaud the judge for recognizing this. In previous court rulings, the judge tried to reintroduce Janet into Isabella’s life gradually. Lisa flaunted all of those. The judge had only two choices: allow Lisa to negate Janet’s parentage or order the custody change. I believe he made the right call. I don’t expect Lisa to obey this court order anymore than she did the others, and ultimately it will be a Virginia court that will demand compliance. We’ll see when and if that happens, but it is unlikely to be on Janaury 1, 2010, the date set by the judge.
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As a mother who lost the daughter I had raised as the stay at home parent until she was 6 years old when my relationship with her mother fell apart I am so happy to see the courts begin to make changes. My daughter will graduate from High School this June and it has been over 12 years since I’ve been allowed any contact with her.
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Cynthia,
I’m just begining a trip like u have already taken! I’m from Nashville, Tn. For over 5 years I have been the top proviser n our family. I got hurt n couldnt work. Lost everything and my partner of 6 yrs. has now turned 2 drugs amoung other things!!! I am tryN 2 start over in Florida. I am tryN 2 retrain 2 work a different job! When I do get it together I will return and try to at least gain visitation. I told my x I will pay child support to her as soon as I get things going. She is angry n says I cant c him ever! Theres no paperwork signed but, he only know me as his parent! Seems if one loved their child that they wwouldnt traumatize them this way. The Bio never denied he was anything but mine to anyone! I have a hand written paper from her in April sayN she needed help was going 2 seek treatment the next day and that the kid belonged with me. She also stated in the letter she would sign the papers for me to have him while she got help. I do not even know where to start!!! Seems courts should rule in favor of non bios when the child has developed a “pshycological child/parent bond with the non bio! Especialy when the bio never had a problem with this going on for 5 years. Do the courts not care as to how this will damage the child?
I am very happy to read of this case! I have watched this for months! It is pure cruelty to the child is whats important here. No bio mom should have custody if they do not care anymore than this!