Comments on: Lesbian and Gay Parents Are Not Better—and That’s Okay

By: Mombian » Blog Archive » LGBT Family Researcher Takes on Family Research Council

Tue, 17 Aug 2010 00:28:26 +0000

[...] of research by herself and others. I’ve had the pleasure of interviewing her and asking her questions like, “Are lesbian and gay parents really better than straight ones?” I’m pleased [...]

By: Mombian » Blog Archive » New Adoption Study: Warmth of Parent’s Orientation to Kids More Important than Sexual Orientation

Mon, 26 Jul 2010 15:56:22 +0000

[...] NLLFS and Goldberg even found they may have advantages in some areas. (We should be careful not to take that too far, [...]

By: Mombian » Blog Archive » Lesbian Mom Headlining Prop 8 Trial

Mombian » Blog Archive » Lesbian Mom Headlining Prop 8 Trial — Mon, 11 Jan 2010 16:06:48 +0000

[...] As I mention in my article at Keen News Service, the pro-Prop 8 defense has compiled a long list of research on marriage and families to use in the case. While some comes from dubious sources, much seems legitimate. They even cite well-regarded studies such as the National Longitudinal Lesbian Family Study (see my interview with lead investigator Dr. Nanette Gartrell) and work by Dr. Abbie Goldberg (about whom see here). [...]

By: Loretta

Loretta — Sat, 28 Nov 2009 13:57:31 +0000

Excellent points! It’s good to see a piece done from an objective viewpoint.
In short, it takes two well adjusted adults to love and train up a child, regardless of their gender pairing.

By: Polly

Polly — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 07:30:57 +0000

Brava, as usual, Dana. I so appreciate every aspect of your argument here. I’ve appreciated it every time you have pointed this out — the problematic nature of idealizing our parenting, even if the defensive/promotional impulse is understandable. And I agree with the conclusion: that a better question ought to be, “What can we learn from one another so that we might help one another be better parents?” I’m with Vikki. This business is hard enough in the first place, before we pressure ourselves or our kids (if inadvertently) to be bigotry-busting exemplars.

By: Dana

Dana — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 00:38:04 +0000

I think you’re right, Dylan, in that our struggles to create and bind our families may mean we pay more attention to them–but we don’t have an exclusive on that, either. (One might say the same about a straight couple struggling with infertility, or a straight parent caught in a custody battle.)

I also agree that from one perspective, the research is neither pro- nor anti-lesbian, in that it shows we are no better, but no worse, than any other parents. At the same time, even equating us with other parents is a big step, and to the extent that this research shows that, it is clearly pro-lesbian.

By: Dylan

Dylan — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 23:49:35 +0000

I was pretty excited when I first read this story.
Finally, something positive being said about us

But then on diggging in you find that the story or research is neither pro nor anti lesbian

In fact the conclusions I drew from it is that because of other factors i.e the difficculty faced by a lesbian couple trying to have children, a lesbian or gay couple who have children have fought rather hard to get them. SO of course the proportion of us that pay more attention will be higher

By: Dana

Dana — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 19:35:26 +0000

I totally agree, Vikki. The worst part is when LGBT parents then pass the pressure on to our kids to be the “best,” for the same reason. Fact is, we’ll have as many slackers and delinquents among our children as non-LGBT people, for the same range of reasons. Kids these days….

By: Vikki

Vikki — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 15:13:11 +0000

Sometimes, I think there is actually greater pressure on LGBT parents to be the “best” because we are visible representatives of the greater community. As parents, we need to be allowed our imperfections and mistakes regardless of our sexual orientation. Parenting is hard enough without idealistic expectations.

By: Theresa Swayne

Theresa Swayne — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 14:29:31 +0000

Amen!