Comments on: Queer Couples and Transracial Adoptions http://www.mombian.com/2009/11/12/queer-couples-and-transracial-adoptions/ Sustenance for Lesbian Moms Sun, 21 Mar 2010 02:34:37 -0400 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 By: Dana http://www.mombian.com/2009/11/12/queer-couples-and-transracial-adoptions/comment-page-1/#comment-93664 Dana Thu, 12 Nov 2009 19:23:04 +0000 http://www.mombian.com/?p=6138#comment-93664 As always, well put, Lori. Thank you. As always, well put, Lori. Thank you.

]]> By: Steven Bush http://www.mombian.com/2009/11/12/queer-couples-and-transracial-adoptions/comment-page-1/#comment-93663 Steven Bush Thu, 12 Nov 2009 17:10:52 +0000 http://www.mombian.com/?p=6138#comment-93663 Yes! Very well said. And we really agree with what Lori comments on here too! Yes! Very well said.

And we really agree with what Lori comments on here too!

]]> By: Lori Hahn http://www.mombian.com/2009/11/12/queer-couples-and-transracial-adoptions/comment-page-1/#comment-93661 Lori Hahn Thu, 12 Nov 2009 14:47:51 +0000 http://www.mombian.com/?p=6138#comment-93661 Adopting transracially was something our adoption agency required us to think about - really think about - what neighborhoods we'd live in, schools, mentors, our friendships, the whole shebang. In fact, we worked up a plan should we be fortunate to adopt another child. I have spent the past 19 years living in richly diverse neighborhoods with diverse schools. I've established friendships with folks I might not have had I lived in an upscale 'burb. When the kids bring friends home, they could be Pakistani or Vietnamese or African-American or Asian. Given access to a fully culturally-rich rearing, the kids have been able to form a racial identity that fits for them. But, is the system flawed and rife with racially charged dynamics? Absolutely. Social workers, Human Services, courts - they are all made up of people with t heir own thoughts on the subject. There have been innumerable studies done on why African-American families don't adopt through the "system" in the numbers whites do but rather favor informal adoptions, long-term fostering of family members, etc. We can talk about the ideal all we want, but when so many kids languish in the system because of some resistance to placement with a ethnically different family, who ultimately loses? I'm not big on theories when an actual child suffers by not being placed in a loving home of any stripe. All I know is there wasn't a big line of people waiting to adopt my extremely premature twins who were guaranteed to have any number of medical and learning disabilities. We were it. And, I think that's the bottom line. Adopting transracially was something our adoption agency required us to think about – really think about – what neighborhoods we’d live in, schools, mentors, our friendships, the whole shebang. In fact, we worked up a plan should we be fortunate to adopt another child.

I have spent the past 19 years living in richly diverse neighborhoods with diverse schools. I’ve established friendships with folks I might not have had I lived in an upscale ‘burb. When the kids bring friends home, they could be Pakistani or Vietnamese or African-American or Asian.

Given access to a fully culturally-rich rearing, the kids have been able to form a racial identity that fits for them.

But, is the system flawed and rife with racially charged dynamics? Absolutely. Social workers, Human Services, courts – they are all made up of people with t heir own thoughts on the subject. There have been innumerable studies done on why African-American families don’t adopt through the “system” in the numbers whites do but rather favor informal adoptions, long-term fostering of family members, etc.

We can talk about the ideal all we want, but when so many kids languish in the system because of some resistance to placement with a ethnically different family, who ultimately loses? I’m not big on theories when an actual child suffers by not being placed in a loving home of any stripe.

All I know is there wasn’t a big line of people waiting to adopt my extremely premature twins who were guaranteed to have any number of medical and learning disabilities. We were it. And, I think that’s the bottom line.

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