I am thrilled to bring you news about two (two!) wonderful new books on LGBTQ parenting: Lesbian and Gay Parents and Their Children: Research on the Family Life Cycle, by Abbie Goldberg, and Who’s Your Daddy? And Other Writings on Queer Parenting, edited by Rachel Epstein. I have a longer article in Bay Windows about the books, which I hope you will go read. Here’s a quick overview, plus a special bonus at the end.

Goldberg’s book, which I noted the other day, brings together decades of professional research on lesbian- and gay- headed families (and the little that exists on families with transgender parents). It is an academic work, stuffed with citations, but all the more compelling because of its rigor.

Epstein’s book is a collection of nearly 40 essays from LGBTQ parents and our adult children across every letter of the spectrum. The authors offer personal, historical, and political insights and raise tough questions about parenting, gender, and society.

Both Goldberg and Epstein call for a deeper understanding of LGBTQ-headed families, not only in comparison to non-LGBTQ ones, but also in and of themselves. Each takes a different approach—one is an academic synthesis, the other a less formal essay collection—but both offer much food for thought.

Problem is, Who’s Your Daddy? is published in Canada, and seems hard to find south of the 49th parallel. (It actually came out in April, but word spread slowly to the States.) Amazon.com, Amazon.ca, BN.com, and Powell’s.com are all out of stock. You can, however, buy it from Women’s Press or Chapters.indigo.ca, ask Canadian friends to send you a copy, or take a field trip north yourself. I hear it’s not yet too cold up there. (You can also ask your local library to stock both books.)

Because of the sheer number of authors and perspectives in Who’s Your Daddy?, I asked Epstein if I could post quotes from a number of the essays over the next couple of weeks. She agreed, so look for them in the coming days.

I’ll start with one from Epstein herself, in the introduction to the book:

When all is said and done, we need to value what we offer our children. We need to turn away from romanticized depictions of our families that deny our pains and challenges and complexities and move toward deeper, fuller accounts of our families. . . .

My hope is that bringing together such a varied group of honest and thoughtful writings will help turn on its head the notion that our children are running a deficit by having us as parents. Not by proving that really they turn out okay or “the same as” other children, but by recognizing and celebrating the richness that is forged from our courage to be all of who we are. This richness is what we offer our children, not in spite of, but because of, who we are.